Give me commitment or lose me forever!

There is nothing you can do to change, speed up or facilitate a commitment from him. Any attempt to spur a commitment from him would be viewed as manipulation and ultimately the commitment would not last because it was not inspired from within but from outside influences.

However, if you are willing to first begin with a change in you and how you react and interact with yourself and your own desires then IF he is truly the one for you then he will naturally "come around." Everything we experience originates from a desire, belief or thought - from within. Therefore, if what you are wanting is a commitment, examine what "commitment" means to you. What is it that you believe a commitment from him will give you that you want but don’t already have?

You may discover that you already have more of what you want than you previously thought – or you may discover that you have less than you thought you were settling for. You may even discover that what commitment means to you has nothing to do with him but everything to do with you.

If having a commitment means – "I want to feel secure in my relationship. I want to know that he’ll always be there. I want to start planning for the future, and children and a family. I want to share more of my life. I want to divide and share responsibilities so that life is easier. I want a home and more money and…" Whatever your reasons for wanting a commitment, acknowledge even those reasons that you might feel a bit ashamed of – but in fact are driving forces in wanting him to commit long term.

For example, many women want a commitment from a man to have "someone to take care of" them and that’s perfectly normal and okay, -as that is how society has brought us up to believe it should be. However, if a person feels the NEED for more money or a better home and that’s what is driving them to want more, then they may not be in harmony with their mate’s ultimate desires and therefore may end up pushing them away altogether.

If you uncover desires that may be in conflict, search for ways to manifest the feeling of having this desire fulfilled in your life in other ways. For example, if you want security – find ways to feel more secure yourself. Ask yourself, what can I do myself to feel the security I desire for my life, my future and my relationship and then set out to create that feeling. That may mean attending self-esteem seminars, reading a self-improvement book, hiring an accountant, an investment broker, or a coach. It may simply mean seeing a movie by yourself or buying yourself that perfume you’ve been wanting.

The point is to create your life so that YOU are responsible for meeting your needs and all a relationship has to do is put the icing on the cake. Now, after identifying exactly what you want that you don’t already have, continue to focus and desire those things in your life but let go of the attachment to who must bring them to you.

This is an important point, the attachment to having to have your "commitment" come from this one person will put a strain not only on your current relationship but also on the manifestation of your overall desires. So let go of the attachment to "the who and the how" but continue to dream about what you want.

If you rev up your desire to a point that is too much for your mate to handle – he’ll step away – and you’ll want to honor that as being for the best given the fact that you want more. If you stay focused on what you WANT – (specifically on what you WANT - not the fears surrounding what you DON’T WANT) then another more perfectly matched mate will easily come into your life and will be in greater harmony with what you want because they too will want it.

In James Redfield’s, Best Seller, The Celestine Prophecy, insight eight is the interpersonal ethic and says, "we can increase the frequency of guiding coincidences by uplifting every person that comes into our lives."

Care must be taken not to lose our inner connections in romantic relationships. By seeing the beauty in every face, we lift others into their wisest self, and increase the chances of hearing a synchronistic message." My last bit of advice is to completely honor your relationship for all the positive attributes you’ve already identified. If you truly love him, continue to love, cherish and nurture this present person in your life as a perfect child of God and therefore worthy of all that he desires too. Uplift him by letting him know that you want him to have all that he desires in a relationship just as you want to have all that you desire – whether that means together or with someone else. Whatever the case, practice being appreciative of the time you have together right now. Do your best to live in the moment, maintain your connection to source and your desires and show him unconditional acceptance without letting go of what you want.

By giving him your unconditional acceptance you will inspire action from him that will be in alignment with the commitment you want – either he’ll "come around" or he’ll set you free to attract the one who will already "be around."