The Signals are driving me Crazy!!!!

Dear "the signals are driving me crazy,"

Anyone who can relate to this - raise your hand! Most of us have been there and there's something irresistibly irritating about the signals that can put your heart in a flutter, your mind in a spin and your imagination in overdrive. The signals keep your engine revving and your wheels spinning but it's like treading water - "Great, I won't drown! But, at this rate - I'm not going to get anywhere anytime soon either." What do you do - ask him why he hasn't called? Or give him your card again in case he lost it the first time? Or ask around to find out if he's seeing someone else? Or wonder and ask him if there's something about you that is the reason he hasn't called? Or be patient and continue to mull over when or if he'll ever call? Or let it go, being grateful and knowing that God has a plan for you and in perfect timing your Divine partner will enter your life and you'll never have a question as to how to proceed?

If you have any friends that follow "The Rules," written by Ellen Fein and Sherri Schneider, they would tell you straight out - "If he hasn't called you then forget him and never ask a man first let alone twice!"

However, if you ask someone who subscribes to the theories in "The Real Rules" written by Barbara DeAngelis, Ph.D, they'd say, "Don't play games; be yourself; be honest about your feelings and if you like him let him know."

As you consider your options - what feels right? Not what your mind says is right or rational - but what can you choose that will invoke the feeling of being at ease, positive, confident and at peace with this situation? In the movie "City of Angels" there's a scene where Nicholas Cage (the Angel, Seth) and Meg Ryan (the surgeon, Maggie) are in a library: (Forgive me if I paraphrase.)

Seth: "You're a good doctor."

Maggie: "How do you know?"

Seth: "I can feel it."

Maggie: "That's pretty flimsy evidence."

He takes her hand, has her close her eyes then runs his finger across her palm.

Seth: "What did I just do."

Maggie: "You touched me."

Seth: "How do you know?"

Maggie: "I can feel it."

Seth: "You should trust that. You don't trust that enough."

The point is - that your positive/confident feeling about what would be the best course of action for you is always right! Even if it's not the match to what you think you want. Divine guidance speaks softly but is always in the form of a peaceful sense that "all is well."For discussion's sake, let's say you think, "but I don't know how I feel - I don't know what to do."

Sometimes we get so caught up in the idea of what we think we want that we forget how to interpret feelings or listen to the still small voice within us that would intuitively guide us if we could ever quiet our mind enough to hear what it was saying. If that's the situation, then you have only one option. Beyond any structured system of behavior there is ALWAYS one sure bet. When you choose to let go and let God (Or the higher power that nourishes your Spirit) take control of a situation - you will always be magnificently and surprisingly rewarded! This is my advice regardless of what else you choose -- let go of your attachment to this gentleman having to be or do anything that you think you would like. Let go of the idea that you want something and the frustration of not having received it.

The Law of Detachment is very powerful and will allow you to heal your thoughts/feelings about this situation while still allowing yourself to be open to the future - whatever it may bring. Be grateful for the experience that this interaction has awarded you. Find a way to know and to be grateful that this is exactly what is meant to be and is perfect in and of itself, right now. Then make decisions and begin to focus on what you want in a relationship but let go of it having to BE any particular person.

Synopsis - Let go of the attachment to the outcome, turn the situation over to your higher power and relax into the knowing that the perfect path for your perfect fulfillment is unfolding before you.