How do I apply 'the secret' law of attraction with my children?

All relationships are held in the vibrational grid that we've set for them. What we expect from our children, we receive. How we expect them to respond, react, and behave becomes the literal pathways and switchbacks that inspire
and steer their actions.

Additionally, how we imagine our reactions to them becomes the magnetic fuel that inspires our 'uncontrollable' reactions in challenging moments.

We train our loved ones and others how to treat us and then as we grow and realize that we will no longer tolerate that treatment, we want to blame our problems on their behavior. We then proceed to seek happiness by demanding or pressuring them to change.

For example, I've noticed that over the last year, I've become much more inconsistent with the enforcement of logical consequences. Thus, I've trained my 10 year old to look me right in the face, smile, and continue jumping as if I didn't just say, "No more than 3 at a time on the trampoline!"

Due to whatever excuse I can come up with, over the last year I've been too lackadaisical about enforcing the rules. Therefore, he now knows he doesn't have to follow them. I tend to react and throw my fit, "Why do I have to get angry before you start listening to me?!?!"

However, in my heart I know the answer. My children are behaving according to how I've trained them to behave and how I expect them to be. I've come to expect Parker (10) not to listen and therefore he doesn't. I've come to expect Ashlyn (5) to whine too much and therefore she does.

All relational experiences are inspired by how we hold the relationship internally.

If you've ever seen Cesar Millan, the Dog Whisperer, (http://dogpsychologycenter.com/dogwhisperer/ ) then you've seen the law of attraction at work in relationships. As pet owners see and think about their pet, the pet responds by confirming those expectations.

On Cesar's blog, he writes:

"A dog with three legs, one eye, or hearing-impaired does not see him-or herself as disabled-they just instinctively learn to adjust, as you will see with Holli the Motorcycle Dog. And it is important for those of us who have disabled dogs not to feel sorry for them. Remember, they do not think of themselves as victims unless that is the energy we are projecting onto them." - Cesar Millan, the Dog Whisperer, http://dogpsychologycenter.com/blog/Season3ep02.php

I'm not suggesting that we treat our children as our pets. However, I am suggesting that all of our relationships including the parent-child relationship respond directly to the energy we project on them as Cesar suggests with dogs.

To change a relationship's dynamics, we must start by changing our internal vision and expectation of the relationship. This is the energy we project and this is where all relationship growth begins.

If you want to change the relationship (and thus their behavior), then start using the secret law of attraction intentionally to inspire the relationship you really want by seeing it in your mind and heart first.

Then, put your attention on your intention to respond from your heart in a calm, loving and equable manner, no matter what.

At first, this may seem like the last thing you want to do. To be loving and kind and composed when what you really want is to strangle them!

However, please know that law of attraction students who take full responsibility for their relationship end up creating better relationships.

We must choose not to struggle with what our children do or what our partners does, we only need to focus on our own thoughts, emotions, beliefs and behaviors to change the situation. .

I want to share a client's story that I believe reflects just how powerful the power of the mind truly is. And, how one mother, without a word to them directly, focused on herself and inspired her children to adapt and grow.

My client, Vivian (name changed) has been doing a great deal of 'self-love' work. Using EFT to eliminate her self-doubts and self-sabotaging patterns, she has been also imagining her relationships with her children growing, evolving, and returning to a state of loving acceptance.

I have had the honor of watching her steadfast commitment to her growth. In spite of her desire to help her children, her first order of business was to choose to love herself, choose to make peace with reality and choose to find her own sense of happiness. It was extremely challenging initially to justify being self-absorbed when her children were in such pain.

She expressed to me that she felt selfish and irresponsible as she worked on her own happiness while her children were engaged in reckless and horrifying behaviors (drugs, promiscuity, quitting school, etc.) "How can I be happy when my children are so unhappy?"

As Vivian began to accept her own Divine Right to happiness and redirect her attention to self-acceptance and the unconditional acceptance of her children, an amazing thing happened. Her teenage daughter and son began to show signs of their own self-acceptance. They began to communicate with greater love and respect for one another and towards their family. Her son has expressed interest in going back to school and her daughter has altered many of her frightening behaviors.

This is precisely how the law of attraction works. When we take emotional action, such as realigning our pure, positive thoughts with what we really want, we are then inspired to love and accept what is. By loving and accepting what is, we send forth the vibration of love and acceptance to those around us.

When our children feel our unconditional love and acceptance, we can then communicate with peaceful resolve our boundaries, our desire for collaboration and cooperation and then fully expect this to be the outcome.

The law of attraction dictates that our relationship experiences are created by our expectations. Of course, there are also tools that we will be inspired to learn as we focus on self-care and the acceptance of those around us. Therefore, when a book falls in your lap about emotional intelligence, parenting, or relationships, pick it up, read it and start to apply it!

Hold the vision of a return to love and peace for you and your children. With the intention to be loving, kind, compassionate and firm, you will find that you simply feel better. As you feel better, the energy you project on to them literally inspires their actions to be aligned with that energy. Thus, you get what you want and they get what they want!

With enough time and attention you can and will absolutely re-create your relationship and thus your experience.