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Topic: the subject of envy... (Read 2776 times)
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Nirakia
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or should it more accurately be called comparison and self-pity?
Here's the situation:
My first love and I are still friends. We see each other regularly at church and church functions as we are all very involved in our ministries.
Now, my problem is that the ex and her wife are very loving and cute with each other, just as I used to be with the ex.
MY life partner though is not that kind of person and although we have moments of cuteness and affection, she can be quite rude/harsh in the way she comes across because she is more of a thinker than a feeler.
I feel a little jealous towards my ex and her wife, because I want that quality that they have in their relationship and I feel it's missing in my relationship.
I also feel that things won't change because my partner is who she is and I must accept her for herself.
Yet a part of me keeps longing for a more tender, affectionate, loving interaction..when my partner is more logical she can upset me cause I take it personally.
Any thoughts anyone?
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AlwaysHappy
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Hiya Nirakia, I never really get jealous apart from ex's but it's still all low level for me I don't feel the need to fee jealous, even if it's natural. A long time ago one of my ex bf had 2 females as his best friends, I never met them but he was spending more time with them etc. How silly of me at the time to stay with him for 3 yrs... Anyways I found myself totally focused to the point of obsession on theses girls. I really didn't know how to get rid of this regurgitating feeling as it was eating me up bigtime HOWEVER as soon as I admitted to myself that I was jealous the feeliing went away just like that. yeah with a puff of smoke. I couldn't understand why it just lfet like that when all those years it was eating me away. Since then any little feeling that might be jealous. I just admitt it to myself and to the person. (your partner) I guess you have already acknowledged this feeling otherwise you wouldn't have posted here but I would say, tell your partner how you feel. Don't worry about what the response will be but it will work wonders for you to get it off your chest. It also sound like the wife in this situation is making scent markings to keep you at bay and may even feel more jealous than you do. I don't know but that's my wild guess. I know when my last exbf had a new love I came up with acne  because he just dropped me like a hot ton of bricks. I wasn't jealous but hurt. I also had to acknowledge that I was not No. one anymore. Try not to see or use the words my first love because it keeps you in that state, even if you know different. I know you was just stating it here to make you posting clear. What i'm saying is I always said my exbf intead of calling him a friend or by his name. I call him my bestfriend now as I see him as one and keep out his relationship things...I used to ask how is -------- ? now i don't bother ask unless he talks about her. So you may need to back off a bit. But I would just send them both loving thoughts. And yes I did go through the self pity bit esp because I was single. xxx Good luck with it all and let us know how you get on |
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Nirakia
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Hmmm, food for thought and thanks for answering.
I do think my ex's wife could be "making scent markings" as it must be a very insecure position for her too...
Have a great weekend.
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AlwaysHappy
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dolphindream
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Greetngs Nirakia~
Envy, self-pity, jealousy....well you know...they are a very low vibration. They are ego based and they serve no purpose. When we see others happy.........we should BASK in their happiness. It should not matter if there were ties or not to these people. You and I both know that God wants us all to be joyous and happy. When ego based thinking interferes ....we are moving away from our Source. Let's re-member that we are all connected and a JOY SHARED IS A JOY DOUBLED! Be happy and be grateful for every thing and then you will attract the same thing that makes you feel good.
Blessings,
Desiree
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Many Many Blessings,
Desiree
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ronit
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So beautifully said Desiree...
How and where is everybody ?
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Nirakia
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Been busy at work and that is where I do most of my online posting/chatting  Also, I'm into other topics of discussoin lately that's not really suited to this board. |
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ronit
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Thanks Nirakia,
Enjoy your summer !!!
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dolphindream
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Hello Everyone!
I miss you all. I have been so busy being in love........it is wonderful. I hope you are all having a wonderful summer and I can not wait for fall....I am a Fall girl....big time!
I am so blessed. I have only dreamed of having someone in my life that treats me like a Goddess! It is only getting better and better. We have been going to the coast, mountains, redwoods, and we have been having a blast. Spirit has been guiding me to take some down time and that is exactly what I have been doing.
Life is good and I keep having to pinch myself to make sure I am NOT dreaming!
Love and Light to you all!
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Many Many Blessings,
Desiree
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ronit
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Desiree , how wonderful !!!!
My summer has been great too , staying at home , lots of lovely guests, right now daughters and grandchildren , everybody getting along...
Bliss !!!
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