We both want a bit of fun - but the ball has stopped rolling

[AlwaysHappy]

Hiya

Here's the deal and would like some insight, thoughts !!! please 

Ok just met a very nice chap a few weeks ago and it was all hot lust, passion etc. He recently came out of a 6 yrs relationship and I've been single for this time by choice     but had a few little treats......

This was good for both of us as we didn't want to get heavy with each other but just meet up every now and then for a bit of fun, you know friendship with benefits. (never done that sort of thing before mind you)  It was clear as day that we both enjoyed the attention from eachother and always thanked me for my kind words which made him feel wanted after his g.friend walked out on him.

Anyways we both got in too deep and both backed off. oppss!!! ekkk it was scary but fun. We also manged to up set eachother etc. but really wanted to keep in touch... I'm not in to playing games  but felt myself keeping my distance one morning just to keep myself safe I guess and had to tell him that I was not going to contact him anymore as he needed to do his part e.g he stopped answering my calls as he too a few comments that I said really, really badly  . I felt dead guilty   and said sorry and told him why I did it. To be honest I don't think he is ready because he is still hurting. I done same tapping on this 

The last contact was over a week ago now and I've been trying sooooooo hard to detach from it and put it down to a fling but it's getting to me big time. He did thank me for my email he told me that it wasn't just an one off and then goodbye but he was busy at work, which is rubbish.  I feel that I have done my bit and can't do anything more as I've said sorry, and told him to get in contact but nothing. He does need a lot of reassurance  but I don't want to to keep stroking his ego at my expence, so that I don't have any self respect.    Yes for sure I kept on saying to myself just forget about it MOVE ON, why bother,  but it does't seem finished ...maybe because I don't want it to.  The thing is I don't even have any regrets about sleeping with him.

SO my question is knowing that we do both want to get the ball rolling again is there anything I can do LOA wise? I want to get into the flow 

I've had other men showing interest in me but I don't get that spark it you get what I mean. I refused one down flat and the others.....well I don't seem to feel the same kinda vibes.

lust eh

[AlwaysHappy]

Not too long after posting this I feel that I need to listen to my "gut feelings" which is to move on, something which I was confused with because of other feeling getting in the was.

It was the hoping, expecting and the knowing where I was excrutiating and felt that I had put a level of control on myself my telling him that I not be contacting him after me saying " I will email you" I did a week ago and he was grateful that I did, saying he still wanted me as a friend.  Well I have not contacted him since and will not.

The crazy thing is we both hurt eachother and didn't mean it but still wanted to remain friends but in control so we couldn't get hurt.    YES it was going knowhere. The ball stopped END. I know I will feel very much different this time next week  or even later today with the sense of having moved on even more

I just needed to get it all out

[ronit]

I don't believe in making or staying friends with people who hurt me.

[AlwaysHappy]

I don't believe in making or staying friends with people who hurt me.

To be honest I think he is still hurting from his exgirlfriend and what we said to eachother was out of defence. As I'm also still recovering.

BUT in general I used to not have anything to do with people who hurt me .... But I think it's all down to if the person shows remorse and the other person forgives, as it's not going to go anywhere. You will always have anger when you have a reminder about what happened.

One of my ex's hurt me REAL bad and we are best friends, I never thought I could forgive him for what he done. We even laugh about what happened. 

Also some friends and family hurt me and I had to cut them loose, just for my own peace of mind, as they was only going to keep hurting me.

So I think it depends on the situation and the person.

*****

Now I just get a text from this guy wanting things to get going again. Funny the law of dettachment!    I think I will just talk to him on the phone for now and take it easy.