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We were born with the unlimited potential to intentionally create (use the law of attraction) to manifest all of our heart's desires. Together, as Conscious Leaders guided by the Divine, we have the Mind Power necessary to co-create a sustainable, harmonious, peaceful, and prosperous world. And, we can do this while also attracting and creating a passionate, loving, rich, healthy life with all of our personal dreams fulfilled.
3 easy steps to create your own Surrogate Tapping EFT phrases
Category: emotional freedom technique,law of attraction,Surrogate EFT — Anisa @
Here’s a video and ‘plug-in-and-tap’ exercise to teach you how to formulate your own Surrogate tapping phrases.
“But what do I say when doing EFT or surrogate tapping EFT?”
This is the most frequently asked question I receive -
“…what do I say when I do surrogate tapping?”
The answer is so easy that you’ll likely doubt that it could
be effective. It IS effective and it IS simple.
Listen closely because I have something
VERY important that I want you to remember!
The only way to get this wrong is by NOT tapping!
Even if you stumble, stutter, mess-up, slur things together
and feel completely inadequate doing the tapping – it
doesn’t matter! You cannot get it wrong. Eventually, with
practice, you will learn how to get it more right but you
cannot get it wrong unless you just don’t tap.
For now,realize that your higher self knows your intentions. Your
Inner Being knows what you want to create. Therefore, as
you proceed with tapping, no matter how ineptly you tap,
your Inner Being will direct the intention underneath the
surrogate tapping in a positive way.
Seasoned EFT practitioners and experts know
that there are ways to do EFT more effectively. And, we
know that there are times when EFT doesn’t work ‘as well’
without some finagling. As you proceed with learning the
process, you’ll learn the ‘tricks’ to use when there are
bigger blocks.
(Hint: one trick is to be more specific, for example. If EFT is
not working, BE REALLY, REALLY CRAZILY SPECIFIC; down
to the tiniest of details and see if this doesn’t make a
difference!)
In the mean time, as you’re figuring this out, just start tapping whatever
comes to mind and know that it’s working just because you’re
doing it!
Surrogate Tapping Video Example:
S. discovered that her boss makes decisions from his
political motivation to get ahead as opposed to what’s right
or morally correct. S. ‘stirred up trouble at work’ when
she questioned his methods. I recorded a round of Surrogate
EFT on ‘the boss man’ to create greater peace within (for
S.) as well as inspire the best from ‘the boss man.’
=========================================
======================================
Update…. I emailed S. to ask her permission and share with
her the video of this surrogate tapping round. Below, is
her reply after she met with her boss last Friday:
An updated note from S.:
“Dear Anisa, …the surrogate tapping for BM (Boss Man) really
worked! I’m so excited! So what came out of that meeting
is that he had taken it as a personal attack. I sensed their
relief and I thanked them for addressing the issue before
too much time and ill feelings developed. They at times
were somewhat emotional but I kept it strictly logical. I
could feel the anger rising at times and I thought about
something you mentioned in the surrogate EFT video yesterday
- the 3rd person point of view shows more compassion. I was
able to breathe and respond in a non-threatening way as I
was feeling compassion. I realized that they felt I was
attacking their own customer service skills when I
questioned WHY we are doing it a certain way. And, because
I wasn’t defensive, that lowered their defenses and it was
just good all around!”
I find that Surrogate Tapping always helps, without fail. Sometimes, it seems to just help us to get a better handle on a situation and be more at peace. Other times, it actually inspires a different reaction and outcome for the other person. Either way, surrogate tapping can be the very tool you’ve been looking for to intentionally create positive changes in your relationships.
Surrogate Tapping “Plug-in-and-tap” Exercise:
Example: A friend has a son that is experimenting with
drugs. We’ll call him James. She wants to tap for him but
doesn’t know what to say. The following exercise walks you
through the process of figuring out the best ‘surrogate
tapping’ phrases for a situation. Using a piece of paper,
write down the answers to the following questions and
actually write out the ‘surrogate tapping’ phrases.
- Even though…. “I….., You….., He/She…”
a. Even though I….(1st Person): State the issue from their
perspective. Say what they say or would say about the issue
from the first person perspective. Write down the answer to
the following question.
If I were ____name of person__ what would I believe to be true about this
____situation/problem___?
If I pretended to be _____name of person___ what would I feel, believe, think about ____this
situation/problem___?
I, first person, Example – James’ Drug Problem:
-
-
“Even though I, James, don’t have a drug problem and I’m
tired of meddling parents and self-righteous, stick-in-the-
muds!” -
“Even though, I James, feel very angry that others don’t
trust me enough to handle my own life.” -
“Even though, I, James, know I can stop whenever I want.”
-
“Even though, I, James, don’t want to stop and don’t have
to because no one can make me.” -
“Even though, I, James, feel irritated because other
people think there’s something wrong with me.”
-
2) YOU…2nd Person: State the issue from your perspective. “Even though, You _____name___…”
Write down your answer to the following question:
If you were talking to your friend/loved one, what would you say regarding how you think
they feel or see things?
2nd Person Example – James’ Drug Problem:
-
- Even though, you, James, are in complete denial…
- Even though, you, James, don’t realize you are playing with fire…
- Even though, you, James, think you have it under control, you are ruining your life and could end up dead, on the
streets, in prison, or you could ruin your entire life…
3) He/She…3rd Person: State the issue from an outsider’s perspective. This is the objective, 3rd person’s point of view. “Even though he/she___name___…” From the third person perspective, you will seek to be more compassionate, less attached, and more focused upon the positive intent, the Divine Order and the unlimited potential that is at the core of EVERY situation/person. As you may be tapping for the healing of a physical, mental, or even spiritual issue, you may find it necessary to adjust the questions below for relevancy.
Write down your answer to the following question(s):
If I could understand ___name of person’s ____ experience from a non-attached point of view, what would I say about
this situation?
If I assumed there was a ‘positive intent’ underneath ‘this situation’ what might that be?
If I assumed there was a Divine Order and Divine Plan at work and relaxed into the Truth that all is well, all the
time, what might I feel and say about this situation?
He/She, 3rd Person Example – James’ Drug Problem:
-
- Even though, He, James, just wants to experience life more fully but he may be doing so in a reckless manner…
- Even though, He, James, has the ability within to make wise and healthy choices…
- Even though, He, James, doesn’t realize how much pain and destruction he could be causing his body and his family…
- Even though, He, James, just wants others to believe in his ability to self-regulate and make his own decisions…
- Even though, He, James is making poor decisions, what if he could allow himself to be his very best? What if he were
inspired to healthy actions and wise decisions? - What if, He, James were grounded in a sense of confident certainty that life is really great and he was born for greatness?
As you can see from the examples above, there’s NO one way
that is the right way to formulate the structure of the
surrogate tapping sequences. Just allow yourself to write
down whatever comes to mind as you walk through the
‘surrogate tapping plug-in-and-tap’ exercise.
I have a few more videos and examples coming your way, later
this week and the next two weeks. Let me know what
questions you have about Surrogate Tapping (please post on
my blog here….) I will do my best to answer your questions
and/or tap for someone you love.
(I’m working on a few of your questions/requests right now.)
Next week’s Quick Manifesting Morsel – When is Surrogate
Tapping Wrong?
A fellow EFT practitioner had a negative experience with
Surrogate Tapping in a group coaching format. The group
felt that they did not receive ‘permission’ to tap,
perceived a negative energy around the situation but one
member continued to tap despite the lack of soul-compliance
from the loved one. I’ll share with you my experience
regarding the ethics of ‘tapping without permission’ as well
as what to do when your surrogate tapping doesn’t work.
I hope you find this helpful! I welcome your ideas and feedback!
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Anisa, I am so grateful for all you so generously share. This has come just when I need it, as all your morsels do. Thank you.
Comment by Coralie — October 13, 2009 @ 3:43 pm
Anisa! I had a quick question. I was wondering if you can do surrogate tapping for a group of people. For instance, I run a business and have a team under me that I direct. They are all basically doing the same thing: the minimum work possible. Could I tap for the group directly (to increase the amount of work they want and do do), or do I have to tap for each individually??
Thanks!
Comment by nancy — October 13, 2009 @ 4:32 pm
Hi Anisa,
I am just wondering if all this is necessary, EFT, LOA etc, these things do work and are good practice for creative visualization, but for the most part they are hit and miss. Simply because the are coming from the natural. There is a place a state of consciousness where all these things flow freely and automatically, along with spiritual authority to cause wonders, miracles. It is a place that we all have access to and is not hard to find, but seek it we must.
Some refer to it as the “Secret Place”, where no disease, pain, worry exist, only exuding joy, peace and well being. A place we have access to because it is our birthright, being born as spiritual beings and made righteous by “ones” sacrifice. Should and could this not be a better use of our time and energy, to find this place, and when we find it, just be, and while we are being, learn and while learning all the desires we have are flowing into our lives with zero or little effort?
“But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.”
Let me end this by stating, that seeking the kingdom is the same as “Be still and know God”. There is no prerequisite to entering into this place, no amount of reading, studying, works etc, just faith and asking. I know because I have been there about 30 times in the last few years, but really I should be there everyday. The only reason I am not is I get to wrapped up in the natural, instead of the spiritual. EFT, LOA, creative visualization are all good and do work some of the time, but spiritual authority works all the time for our good.
Heath and Happiness
Garth
Comment by Garth — October 13, 2009 @ 5:33 pm
Hi Anisa, I hope at the time you read this you are making it a super day/night!
I have a doozie for you. It’s hard to tell the story without names as I don’t have their permission to tell the story but you will get the drift I think.
My son and my youngest daughters fiance got into a brohaha (alcohol involved) at my oldest daughter’s and her fiance’s bachelor and bachelorette party. Fists were used and revenge was plotted by my youngest daughter as she brought two thugs to ambush my son at my home. It was successful and he now has a dislocated back. Now my son and husband say that his sister/his daughter is dead to them and they will not speak of her or acknowledge her as part of the family.
My oldest daughter’s wedding is Ocotber 24th and I have no idea if my youngest daughter will even be there. She was supposed to be the maid of honor and her little girl was supposed to be the flower girl but she returned their dresses to her sister and told her that neither she nor her daughter were going to be in her wedding anymore even though the fight had nothing to do with my oldest daughter.
Any help would be GREATLY appreciated!
Love and blessings,
Syl
Comment by Syl — October 13, 2009 @ 10:44 pm
Hi Anisa, this surrogate EFT could not have come at a better time. I hope it’s not too late though. I have recently broken off with my partner and moved out, because it seems his feelings for me had changed. Although he said he needed time to sort things out and he felt there was a chance that his feelings would come back. I know he held a lot of guilt from a previous relationship and this was colouring his judgement. Anyway, I moved out because things got too difficult living in the same space whilst he worked out his stuff. We parted both very sad and with gratitude for what we shared and with appreciation for each other. I am left with the feeling that with space he may realise that he does still want to continue with me, however, a few things need to be released first. Can I use surrogate EFT in this case, to at least increase the possibility of us getting back together, albeit on different footing?
Thank you for your great work. Namaste.
Comment by TJ — October 14, 2009 @ 12:23 am
Hi Anisa. I am just starting to learn about EFT.
Here`s my surrogate tapping situation. I`m an American living joyfully in Japan. I had a friend/colleague who also seemed to be happy here. Then he suffered a stroke at age 36 and had to go back to his country, leaving behind his new wife, and live with his parents. I wish he could recover fully and return here. I would like to tap for him but I`ve no idea what to say. Thank you.
Comment by Mary — October 14, 2009 @ 1:32 am
Thank you very much for the articles on ‘Surrogate Tapping’. They are surely
very useful indeed regardless of the ethics behind it.
I could not view the entire video in which you showed the tapping you do to
correct your sons behavior fully. When it was just one third through, it stopped
downloading. It is a problem with my internet connection. So I’d be thankful if
you you could let us have the complete transcript of the procedure.
It will be nice if you let us have the transcripts in all cases so that we can
modify them to our requirement. I could not see the above video on taming the boss
at all.
My problem is a brother-in-law, an uneducated one who drinks and treats my sister
with total disrespect and insultingly. She has a tough time living with him and
even thinks of a divorce.et
Another problem is about a partner in a jointly conducted coaching class. Even though
he said I could have equal share in the collection when he invited me to join,
he does not share it fairly. He cuts a big amount as expenses, without showing the bills
and I get just hald of what I expected.
Still another problem is my sister’s daughter who is involved in a love affair with
a person who is not at all acceptable to any one in our family. If she goes ahead and
marries the person, it will bring disgrace to our family.
I need to apply EFT in each of these cases.
I am relieved to know that there is hope to correct these injustices thru’ EFT.
Thank you, Thank you, Thank you, Thank you, Thank you, ………..
Shyam
Comment by Shyam Raj — October 14, 2009 @ 2:57 am
[...] Yesterday, I gave you a step-by-step (video and written exercise) for how to figure out what to say when you are surrogate tapping. You can read that article/video here: [...]
Pingback by More Surrogate Tapping Examples “How to Figure Out What to Say” | Anisa Aven's Conscious Leadership & the Law of Attraction. — October 14, 2009 @ 12:28 pm
Thanks Anisa,
This is in reply to your reply to my comment:)
I agree with all of what you said, EFT,LOA and especially creative manifestation are wonderful learning tools, to reacquaint us with our true beings and its potential. Unfortunately, hidden within many of these teachings is a great and dangerous flaw that will lead to many disappointments for the spiritually uniformed.
Many teachings on LOA and mental power do not recognize the fact that:
1.One level of authority and power supports the principles of a higher dimension.
2.The higher level of authority always supersedes the laws of all lower levels.
3.The law of the Spirit is the highest law in control of the universe.
Scientists, threw studying Quantum physics have proven that our minds have a direct influence on our environment, our bodies and social community. It is worthwhile to take note of these principles, for they are very useful in preparing our mind set for the next level of authority.
The thing to be careful of is that some of these teachings will use the scientific discoveries in Quantum Physics, combine it with the principles of faith as it is taught in the Bible, and then land us right smack in the middle of the greatest lie of all times, namely the big “I”.
According to these teachings man is the ultimate creator and “Master of the Universe”, the universe being like the genie who says: “Your wish is my command”. These teachings lead to ultimate disappointment for those who are unaware that there is a higher more authentic intelligence that is laying down the boundaries and the rules from a higher spiritual dimension.
Nevertheless, the theories on creative manifesting, LOA etc do work when practiced within the guidelines of the way of the spirit, whether the one who is practicing knows of the different levels of authority or not.
Trying to master techniques that will result in supernatural outcomes without realizing its relation to the higher dimension of the Spirit of God, is why these teachings are so vulnerable and the results disappointing. Not seeing the bigger picture leaves the practitioner in the arena of trial and error.
This brings us to a very important fundamental and universal law in the universe. Test all efforts intended towards supernatural interference with the nature of things, by applying the Law of Love as a test.
Love is never selfish, it never takes away at the cost of another. Love is not self centered and does not glorify self. Love always looks for ways to improve life for others. Any self glorifying theories and methods that support pride, greediness and selfish desires are against the way of the spirit.
Does this mean that we cannot use spiritual power to create a better life for ourselves? Not at all!
Having spiritual knowledge and understanding the elementary concept of the Way of the Spirit, will unleash a supernatural flow of provision and abundance into our lives.
The Way of the Spirit is to think,live, act in a way and with the purpose to create increase, health or positive outcomes for others by means of supernatural interference. The law that underwrites this way of living is universal and states that when you live this way, increase will be given to you, without seeking or laboring for it. It is an infallible spiritual law and cannot be changed.
Comment by Garth — October 14, 2009 @ 3:04 pm
Hi Anisa! I was so excited about this, I just had to get it out and be thankful!
I don’t use EFT as much as I should, but now that you had this series on it, I decided to practice it more. My husband had a small claims court today against his ex for a good sum of money she owed him. And even though he was prepared, I was still fussing over him this morning like a child! Do you have this, do you have that, etc. And I was so worried about it I was thinking about it at work! So I went to the bathroom and did a couple rounds of this surrogate EFT, saying things like, I know that she’s strong enough to stop running from her past, I believe that the judge will understand what’s going on and be fair, etc. Don’t you know he called me later and he won?! Well, I had a good feeling he might, but here’s the kicker: When I asked him what had happened, the first thing he did was say that the judge was perceptive! Interesting that that was the most powerful point in my EFT. It might not seem like much to the outsider, but I noticed, and I’m convinced! Thank you so much for all you do!!
Comment by Skye — October 15, 2009 @ 2:15 pm
Anisa,
This “Surrogate Tapping” is very cool! Can I use this to help someone’s health condition? For instance – my Husband just had Prostate Surgery (today). I would like to tap for not only a quick minimal pain recovery, but also for making sure they got it all. If it can be used for that – would you be willing to do a video for those of us wanting to use it for these kinds of issues?
Thank you so much ~ Lezlie
Comment by Lezlie Ely — October 16, 2009 @ 6:44 pm