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We were born with the unlimited potential to intentionally create (use the law of attraction) to manifest all of our heart's desires. Together, as Conscious Leaders guided by the Divine, we have the Mind Power necessary to co-create a sustainable, harmonious, peaceful, and prosperous world.  And, we can do this while also attracting and creating a passionate, loving, rich, healthy life with all of our personal dreams fulfilled.

January 5, 2012

Affirmations Work: Succeed with Your New Year’s Resolutions by Mind-Washing – with Affirmations!

Category: Affirmations,Attract Opportunities,Attract Prosperity,attract relationship,Audios Free Downloads,law of attraction,Videos — Anisa @ 5:58 pm

Happy New Year!

I LOVE this time of year!  The energy of change, growth, renewed excitement about goals and what lies ahead… I love getting recharged over the holidays and then using January to launch full force  into my new year.  I do this by going over my goals, setting out new mind-maps around what I want to achieve and re-aligning my affirmations for the year.

  • What do I want to create now?
  • What was great about last year that I want to appreciate and expand?
  • What will help me to expand my consciousness and create an even better new year?
  • What new adventures do I want to manifest?
  • What’s my next level of prosperity, love, contribution, fitness, etc. that I want now?

I ask the questions and allow my heart to answer.  Then, I write out affirmations that specifically appreciate ALREADY achieving and living the very thing I now want to create.

Here’s a video with a LONG list of powerful affirmations for many different areas of life (Health, Wealth, Love/Relationships, family, parenting, personal/mental/spiritual growth, global evolution, etc.) I hope you enjoy it and be sure to create your own:

And, here’s a list of affirmations for you to pick/choose from:

Affirmations and Positive Statements absolutely work!


If they didn’t, then they would not have stood the test of time for thousands of years; nor would every mystic and every spiritual teacher that has ever lived have been consistent with this same Truth, “Be mindful of your words for they are powerful.”


Affirmations are simple.  Simply say what you want as if you already have it.  Then, as your confidence picks up, stretch yourself to the next level of belief by asking for just a wee bit more!


A couple of quick do’s:


-Do state affirmations in the present tense – NOW.

-Do keep them short and meaningful for you.

-Do reach for as much as you can believe while not going so far that you doubt the possibility.

-Do focus on the positive of what you want, not the negative of what you don’t want.

– Start with I or I AM; include positive emotions such as, “I am grateful.”

-When necessary, you may DENY the negative that you do not want during times of transition.  In other words, if you KNOW you are doubtful and you can’t speak positively without the feeling of doubt, then DENY the negative by REFUSING to accept it.  It’s perfectly acceptable to REFUSE to accept ‘this poverty’, ‘this ailment’, ‘this failure’.  Eventually, however, you’ll want to get over the transition period and focus only on the positive outcome you intend.

– Do use EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) to remove all doubt.


Here are some affirmation examples:


Examples of Health Affirmations:


I put my desires and health first.  I take care of myself.  I honor my time.

I am motivated and inspired to work out regularly and consistently.

I love to exercise.  I thrive on moving the energy.  I feel good when I work out.  I make exercise a priority and it’s effortless effort!

There is nothing more important than my physical health.  It is a way of life.

I like the way I look and feel in any and all of my clothes.

I feel and act trim and energetic at all times.

I enjoy eating healthy and take time to plan my meals.  I choose the food that makes my body celebrate.

I eat fresh, raw, whole, organic fruits & vegetables frequently.

I enjoy preparing my meals and snacks.  I always have healthy snacks readily available.

My skin is smooth and young and glowing with health.

I cleanse my body and release refined sugar.

I have a habit of educating myself on the effects of sugar and draw a book about this into my life.


Examples of affirmations to specifically heal a portion of your body: (Knee example)

Regarding my Knee: I commit to:

I focus on the truth that my knee is perfect and healthy right now.

My perception of myself is the only thing that needs to be healed.  Any evidence that I’m less than optimally healthy is a meaningless illusion whose purpose is to distort reality.

I choose to commit to healing my knee.

I do medical hypnosis on my knee every night before I go to sleep.

I exercise my knee regularly.

I turn all my fears over to God.

I acknowledge healing happens when the sufferer no longer sees any value in pain.

Decisions are of the mind, not the body.  There is no gain to me at all in this knee problem.

My knee is strong, stable, reliable, flexible and active.  I now release all fears about this.





A Prayer example:

Universe – God – Help me know the Truth of my wholeness; the Truth of my Divine health and inspire me to take action to heal; and to allow healing to occur.

God, work your magic through me as I focus on healing myself.  Shift me and help me to be open to feeling your loving energy.

Jesus, Master Healer, please assist me in this healing.  I allow that Christ Conscious energy to flow through me at all times.



I allow myself to feel, express and honor my full range of emotions and I express them freely and in the moment.

I no longer repress or deny my feelings ever again.  I claim my right to a broad range of emotions, now!

God, help me to say “no” lovingly and truthfully.

I communicate my boundaries clearly and lovingly and say no when I want to say no.



I honor my time.

When I am inspired, I say “yes” and when I am not inspired, I say “no.”  I allow myself to say no without guilt and without excuse.



I delight in my wonderful adventures around the Globe.  I’ve traveled from shore to shore and I’m delightfully open to more!

I gratefully acknowledge my remarkable real estate savvy.  I’ve purchased homes in a variety of different locations.  All of which appeal to any number of my interests.  I own waterfront, mountain-top, suburban, and urban properties.

I so thoroughly enjoy my Meditation Room.



My primary intent is to realize the presence of God within.  It is not I alone that creates; but the consciousness of Spirit within that is my master creator.

The pursuit of my spirit atonement is my primary purpose in life.

I meditate daily and it’s fun, effortless, natural and an essential part of my everyday life!

I read and affirm my affirmations daily.

I journal regularly.

I seek peace first.

I participate in a spiritual support group every week.

Peace Reigns Supreme in My Life, now and always!

I seek atonement. I am gratefully and completely connected to the power and the presence of God at all times.




I experience and draw into my life many caring, loving, spiritually open and uplifting friends.

I uplift and inspire and support my friends in a loving way.

I am grateful for my fabulously aware friends.

My friends are kind, loving, giving, honoring, integritous, and like-minded.

My circle of friends is ever-expanding to match my highest ideal for intellectual and spiritual stimulation.




I always speak lovingly and truthfully to my family.

I uplift and support my children and other members of my family.

I support my children mentally, spiritually and emotionally and continue to assist them to grow yet I allow them to make their own decisions.

I am an awesome parent!  I intend to be the best mom/dad I can be! I intend to continue being an aware conscious parent!

I am a Conscious, Aware, Loving, Kind, Creative, Attentive and Consistent Mom/Dad. My children are becoming conscious, self-regulating, loving, aware, conscious, spiritual, kind, considerate, well mannered, co-creators who develop and grow in alignment with their highest path of personal growth and fulfillment.





I am grateful to have the means and resources to exert minimal effort for maximum returns.

We attract spiritual seekers that are a perfect match to our life purpose and financial goals.

Our website is acknowledged and receives awards and accolades for it’s content, design and community.

Our website explodes with popularity and work of mouth travels.  People are telling everyone they know!

The upkeep on our website is a fun and easy process.

I am grateful to know receive in excess of $5 Million for my share.

I am grateful that I easily and effortlessly attract all the resources I require, when I require them, to do what I want, when I want!



I have a loving, peaceful, considerate, thoughtful, compatible, supportive, communicative, easy, understanding, passionate and joyful relationship.

I trust myself to make decisions wisely for my highest good and I honor my boundaries firmly and in every situation.

I am thankful for my lessons.  Now, I choose a relationship that is mutually supportive and uplifting on every level.

My mate uplifts me to a heightened place of prosperity consciousness.

I have all that I desire without compromise.

I am deserving and worthy of an awesome relationship.

God, help me heal my past and help me forgive myself and my ex-partners for anything I may have judged us for.  Help me to know we did the best we could, given our intellectual tools and state of enlightenment at that time.

Help me release my need to attract codependent partners and to honor my worth – and attract a healthy interdependent relationship.

Please help me see instantly and with crystal clear vision the compatibility of any partner that may enter into my life as a potential mate with my highest desires in mind.



I am set free from the past and my financial mistakes of the past.

I now face the present and future wise, secure and unafraid.

I am grateful to receive $100,000 per month – free and clear! (NOTE: Use the amount that stretches you but does is not full of doubt. When I first started this, I was only able to imagine $15.00 an hour or about $1200.00 per month!)

I release the burden of debt to the Christ within and I am free, clear and paid in full at all times.

I now give and receive freely.

Money is energy representing my inflow and outflow.

Abundance is my Birthright and anything less than prosperity is an illusion.  I reject the illusion of poverty and choose abundance, financial freedom and success.

I am the embodiment of wealth.

God, take away all inequity and deliver to me the truth of my being as a prosperous, rich child of a loving Father.

The Universe spoils me!

In the past, I was uncomfortable receiving, but now I recognize God’s gifts and I now accept them gracefully and peacefully.

I attract people that help me grow, and I now accept all loving gifts.

All of my financial fears and questions are now put to rest easily.

When the right home appears, the perfect financial means and/or lender is instantaneously available.

I am Prosperous!  I am grateful to now have a net worth in excess of 60.6 Million dollars! (NOTE: Again, use the amount that is the most realistic stretch for you at this time, while stretching yourself a little more as often as possible)

I purchase anything I desire, when I desire it in cash.

My obligations are always paid in full and in advance easily and effortlessly.

I am an abundant child of a Rich Father in Heaven – Prosperity is my Birthright and I claim it now.

I have more than enough to spare and to share.

My income far exceeds all of my wants, needs and desires.

I effortlessly give 10% of my income to where I feel spiritually fed and this feeds my soul and supports my life.




I take time to enjoy the beauty and goodness that surrounds me.

I maintain peace of mind in all situations.

I forgive myself quickly and easily, learning my lessons and letting go.

I look for the blessing in every event.

I experience boundless enthusiasm and joy in my life.

I now radiate unlimited love to others.

I live a life that flows peacefully.

I respond positively and enthusiastically to my inner guide, having and maintained close contact with that part of me.

I am filled with creative ideas to benefit mankind.

I act on these ideas without hesitation.

I experience a lot of laughter!

I have focus.

I live a life where I am relaxed and free of stress.

I live my dreams.

I act with confidence and determination.

I strongly attract that which is good and uplifting into my life.


Now, remember that affirmations planted on toxic soil are less effective than a positive statement planted on healthy, confident soil.  Remember, if you are doubtful about something you want or an affirmation, use Emotional Freedom Technique to clear the doubt.  Then, return to your positive intent!

Since many will set a New Year’s resolution to lose weight and get fit, here are a few extra Health and Weight Loss Affirmations: (And, if you’re serious this year, may I suggest my Get Fit and Fabulous with EFT & LOA program… visit here.) 


I feel healthy, strong and energetic.


My body converts everything I eat into energy and beauty.


I CAN take off weight and I am doing it right now.


I am in total control of what I eat.


I eat only what I choose to eat and I only eat when I am hungry.


Food nourishes me.


I am now in control of my weight.


I am now becoming slimmer and healthier.


I love myself no matter what I weigh.


I love myself and this allows me to love others and accept their love.


What I eat is automatically processed by my body and changes into energy.


I maintain my chosen weight.


What I eat turns to energy and health.


The fruits and vegetables that I choose to eat are pleasurable and aid me in becoming slimmer.


Love is always available to me.


I love myself, whether I am eating healthfully or not.


I am taking off weight and gaining in beauty.


I deserve the pleasures I receive from being slim, healthy and attractive.


I now allow myself to let my natural good looks show.


It is safe for me to be my ideal weight.


I am at peace with myself and with the Universe.


The more I love my body, the more lovable it becomes.


It is easy for me to love my body.


I forgive myself for eating when what I really wanted was love.


I now allow myself to feel safe in accepting love.


I now accept the responsibility for my weight.


I am now prepared to create the kind of body I choose.


As I free myself of blame, I free myself of excessive weight.


I am in control of my mind, my body and my life.


My body converts food into loving energy.


I love how my body is getting slimmer and healthier with each passing moment.


The more I love my body, the more it conforms to the weight and shape I desire.


I am now and forever at peace with my body.


When I am eating, I pay full attention to the experience of eating.


I feel no need to eat merely because others are eating.


I chew my food thoroughly.


I eat only what I want when I want it and only when I am relaxed.


I love myself as I am, regardless of my weight.


I mentally press the reject button on any negative images, thoughts or feelings about my body.


I now release all fear, blame, guilt, sadness, anger and resentment towards myself and others concerning my weight!


I regard food as a blessing.  It is meant for me to enjoy and maintain my health.


I think of food only as a positive influence on my life.


I love how good it feels to let go and free myself of resentment, blame and guilt.


I choose to stay young, energetic and healthy.


I am strong and healthy.


My body is a beautifully functioning vehicle of my mind and spirit.


I appreciate the years of faithful service my body has given me.


I will only eat and drink what is appropriate for me to release weight and maintain my perfect shape.


My metabolism is influenced by my thoughts, and I now direct it to function in such a way as to promote my good health and desired weight and shape.


Although in the past I may have eaten to fill an emptiness inside, I now fill myself with love for myself and others.


I am nourished by loving energy that is always available to me.


I am lovable and loving at any weight.


My body is becoming exactly the way I want it to be.


All excess fat is disappearing and melting from my body as I think this thought.


My body is conforming to the shape I have chosen.


I have a very healthy, youthful and attractive glow and appearance, externally and internally.


I am in better condition and shape than I have been in a long time, and it feels good to allow myself to experience the positive emotions that go along with this end result.


I look forward to, and get a great deal of pleasure from moving and stretching my body daily.


I feel the satisfaction, fulfillment, confidence and self esteem that go along with being the way I choose to be.


As my weight comes off, I feel rejuvenated, refreshed and revitalized.


I am filled with feelings of enthusiasm, well being and excellent health, feeling more secure and confident every day.


I know I am in control of my weight, and I feel a great amount of inner strength and energy growing with each passing moment.


All changes begin with the thought, the inner reality, and work towards the outer reality.


I understand that when I visualize the end result, there are trillions of chemical reactions happening in my body.  The thought comes first.  Physical matter forms around the thought.


My brain, body and subconscious mind are an intelligent guidance system, and work in perfect harmony.  This intelligent system knows automatically how to release weight easily and effortlessly.


My subconscious mind has a blueprint of me in perfect health, balance and integrity within my body.  All I have to do is remind this system and accept now.


Written & Copyrighted by ©Anisa Aven.

Receive Anisa’s FREE Conscious Creation 101: a  5-part e-course on the basics of Manifesting by visiting You may also read more about manifesting and conscious creation by visiting the Creative Manifesting ( and Manifesting Prosperity ( Home Page.

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June 23, 2011

How to Consciously Create When Another Has to Change (pt.2)

Category: attract relationship,Audios Free Downloads,emotional freedom technique,law of attraction,Surrogate EFT,Videos — Anisa @ 7:05 pm

Q: How to consciously create when your Dream (or Wish) depends on someone else’s cooperation.

Last week I shared with you the answer to our friend’s question:

Dear Anisa, I love my husband but I’m not happy….. (you can see the full article on my blog here.)
And, I promised to share an example of how to use Surrogate EFT to get what you want in your relationships, so here it is…

The Surrogate EFT Points:

  1. S – Sore Spot (or KC Karate Chop point on side of hand)
  2. EB – Inner Eye Brow
  3. OE – Outer Eye
  4. UE – Under Eye
  5. UN – Under Nose
  6. CH – Chin
  7. CB – Collar Bone
  8. UA – Under Arm
  9. RR – Right Rib
  10. H- Head (Crown Chakra)

Step 1) Surrogate EFT – Set your Intention:

“Universe/God – my intention is to create a more loving and harmonious relationship with my husband. If the words that I speak are not aligned with our mutual, highest and best good, then I ask they go forth and help someone else. I intend for this work to influence our relationship in positive ways according to our mutual desires. Thank you for this creative power and manifestation, now.”

Surrogate EFT Example:

1) SS/KC – Even though, I, John, feel frustrated that my wife is unhappy and I just can’t please her, I love and accept myself.

Even though, You, John, are neglecting your love responsibilities at home, leaving your wife feeling lonely and abandoned, you love and accept yourself anyway.

Even though, He, John, is doing the best that he can and is exhausted with work and family responsibilities, he loves and accepts himself anyway.

2) EB- I, John, feel frustrated, why can’t my wife just get off my back?

3) OE – You, John, are neglecting your wife and causing unhappiness by dismissing her needs.

4) UE – He, John, feels like he can’t possibly please everyone, so why bother trying.

5) UN – I, John, am tired of the constant nagging and unhappiness.

6) CH – You, John, are not trying hard enough and you act like you don’t even care.,

7) CB – He, John, is doing the best that he can but has too many burdens to bear.

8) UA – I, John, wish my wife would just back off and be happy with the way things are.

9) RR – You, John, are neglectful and refuse to pay any attention to your wife.

10) H- Head – He, John, is tired and frustrated and although he wants to please his wife feels like he doesn’t know how anymore.

Repeat the ‘negative’ tapping until you feel a shift towards Neutrality. Neutrality does not feel like apathy but it feels like a peaceful acceptance, “it’s all okay, even as it is.”

Then, implant the positive:

1) SS or KC – Even though I, John, feel frustrated, I am willing to do what I can to make things right.

Even though, you, John, are stretched too thin, you are willing to pay attention to your relationship and show your wife you love her.

Even though, He, John, is exhausted and doesn’t know what to do, he is willing to find creative ways that allow him to connect with his wife and restore thier romance.

2) EB – I, John, am willing and open to rekindle our marriage.

3) OE – You, John, are doing the best you can and you are open to doing what must be done to connect with your wife.

4) UE – He, John, is open and loving; thoughtful and committed to loving his wife.

5) UN – I, John, want to be inspired to show my wife more affection and attention.

6) CH – You, John, are willing and open to having more meaningful conversations with your wife.

7) CB – He, John, is creative and imaginative and feels inspired to be more attentive to his wife.

8) UA – I, John, find myself thinking more and more about how to connect, talk, and love my wife more fully.

9) RR – You, John, are getting more and more excited about rekindling your relationship with your wife.

10) H- Head He, John, is a loving and giving man. He feels inspired to pay more attention to his wife and family and feels energized and uplifted by his efforts.

I hold the vision of a renewed, loving and fun relationship for you. It is in fact, the ONLY possibility, now.

Copyright, 2011 CreataVision Enterprises, Anisa Aven.

Comments (165)

How to Consciously Create When Your Dream Depends on Another

Category: attract relationship,Audios Free Downloads,emotional freedom technique,law of attraction,manifest a mate,Surrogate EFT — Anisa @ 4:57 pm

Q: How to consciously create when your Dream (or Wish) depends on someone else’s cooperation:

Dear Anisa,
I love my husband but I’m not happy. I’m frustrated that he works too much and rarely makes time for us. We talk very little and our once passionate bedroom life is almost non-existent. You might think, “He’s cheating” but that’s not the case. He’s not the cheating type; he wouldn’t have the time or freedom if he were the type and besides I know he loves me too. But, we are both bored and complacent, I suppose. I’ve tried talking until I’m blue in the face, with small progress that seems to backslide within a very short amount of time. My problem is that I’m a pretty good manifestor but I can’t figure this one out! I’ve created a great job making more money than when I was full-time and I’ve lost over 40 pounds (thank you, by the way – I did it and have kept it off for 2 years after taking your EFT & LOA for weight-loss program). I know I did these things with the Law of Attraction… but I’m just stumped now because I don’t know how to create when someone else is involved. How do I get him to want to attend to us? How do I get him to help me bring more fun back into our relationship? – “Shhh!!!” I’m keeping my name a secret for this question. Thanks!

A: Let me start with the bottom-line  – the important caveats:

  • We cannot create in someone else’s life anything they are also not aligned with.
  • We cannot force someone to be aligned with our wish/desire.
  • There’s always a yin/yang – a cost/benefit for every manifestation. (Ex: The sun must go down for the moon to come up and vice-versa.)

The Possibilities:

  • We CAN influence a compromise and create an outcome that is mutually aligned.
  • We CAN fulfill our own needs while maintaining our integrity and honoring our relationships.
  • We CAN re-align and re-frame our ‘happiness’ quotient – allowing greater happiness with less need for external input.

We are either moving towards what we want, or away from it. Learn to analyze which way you’re headed so you can immediately course-correct when needed.

In relationships, picking apart what’s not working, focusing on all the things our partner is doing wrong or obsessing about the things our mate is not doing can become a sick habit. So obsessive and destructive that it can (and often does) destroy the love and kindness that once inspired us to move mountains together. 

A healthy relationship begins with accepting our mate exactly as they are. Love, in its honest and purest form, is unconditional acceptance. From this place of unconditional acceptance, we are poised to leverage the Universal Laws in a very masterful way – but only after we’ve surrendered to what IS as absolutely perfect, in and of itself. 

Let’s address what unconditional acceptance does not mean. Accepting our mate does not mean we are willing to be abused or taken for granted. Full, unconditional acceptance does not mean we are willing to sacrifice our souls and personal dreams/ boundaries/values to be with them, it simply means they get to be who they want to be, without exception; and when they choose to BE unkind or immoral then we get to choose not to be with them, in spite of the fact that we still accept them as a person. 

Thus, accepting your mate exactly as they are is step #1. Any and all judgments that you hold regarding what he is or is not doing must be completely and totally released. All criticisms and resentments must be forgiven, now. Forget about manifesting anything until you’ve completed this step. In fact, as soon as you commit to forgiving, releasing, and accepting him exactly as he is right now, as a perfect child of God, doing the best he can, given who he is and what he knows up until now, you’ll discover there are many things you appreciate about him, right now. You’ll begin to notice the things he’s doing ‘right’ and less of your attention will dwell on what’s wrong. This is a natural by-product of full-force acceptance. 

Once you’ve mastered ‘full-acceptance’ then manifesting greater love, romance, connection, fun, and adventure will be a matter of expansion. Like any other conscious creation, you want to act as if you had it now, in order to manifest it. You want to SEE it and BELIEVE it, now. You want to FOCUS on expanding upon what’s right and wonderful, in order to capitalize on the energy of love that is already flowing and thus re-direct some of that creative force to new adventures and experiences of connection with your mate. 

You want to create a masterpiece of beautiful love and fulfillment in your mind and heart that is so enjoyable, it will naturally manifest externally. 

Launch the visions of love and connection as you desire them, fully willing to detach from the outcome; willing to be happy with or without their manifestation. Then, go about fulfilling your own happiness needs. Gone are the days of depending upon your mate for self-fulfillment. Do you need conversation and connection, re-engage with friends and make new friends. GET those needs met in an honorable fashion elsewhere. Do you need adventure? Choose to take yourself out – enjoy a movie, go for a walk, or plan a vacation. Create adventure with yourself while envisioning the perfect adventure with your mate. 

One primary source of dysfunction in modern relationships is this idea that our mate must fulfill all of our needs to have a happy marriage. It’s a recipe for failure! We all have different social and relational needs; expecting and demanding that our mate meet all of these needs is ridiculous. Re-energize your life by giving yourself permission to have a relationship with yourself and simultaneously increase your social circle by seeking out uplifting friends and engaging activities. 

Now, I realize I’ve shared with you ‘What’ you need to do, but I’ve neglected to share with you ‘How’ to do it. Don’t worry, I don’t plan to leave you hanging! Next week, I will share with you some methods for releasing the old and creating the new. I will share with you a powerful process that will utilize both the law of attraction and Surrogate EFT. In the mean time, make a commitment to begin full-force acceptance now. 

I hold the vision of a renewed, loving and fun relationship for you. It is in fact, the ONLY possibility, now. 

Copyright, 2011 CreataVision Enterprises, Anisa Aven.


Receive Anisa’s FREE Conscious Creation 101: a 5-part e-course on the basics of Manifesting by visiting

Comments (6)

February 2, 2010

Insidious Limiting Beliefs – How to find them and what to do with them

Category: attract relationship,conscious creation,emotional freedom technique,law of attraction,limiting beliefs,manifest a mate — Anisa @ 3:22 pm

With Anisa Aven

Q: “I have a question on breaking down a goal (mine is
getting my soul-mate). How do you know what you should do? I
don’t want to go out in a sense of “panic” like “am I doing
the right thing?” And, then go home perhaps disappointed. Do
you get a “hint” beforehand or what?
– C. San Diego

A: It’s important to understand that if you felt confident
and at ease, then you would not have the question ‘am I
doing the right thing?’ 

Thus, the important issue is what’s causing that question to
come to the surface in the first place?

Do you know what the biggest relationship repellant is? 

I bet you can guess, can’t you?

—> Desperation and Disappointment

Let’s face it.  We’ve felt the creepiness that exudes from
people that are desperate.  There’s a disturbing atmosphere
surrounding them; an unpleasant stench practically transmits
from their very being.  We sense it and are mutually
repulsed by it when they are so worried and desperate for
something that they practically pant with anxiousness and
erratic intensity. 

What’s the picture you get when you think about the

– Try going to a bank for a mortgage loan when you feel
desperate about avoiding homelessness for you and your

– Try taking the BAR exam, again, when you feel desperate
that you must pass or else face complete humiliation and

– Try a new diet and exercise routine when you feel fraught
with the memories of past failures and your high school
reunion coming up.

– Try going to a singles event and at first, confident that
you are putting your best self forward  only to feel the
ticking of your biological clock reverberating within
reminding you with every passing moment that you are one
minute closer to never having a family.

Now, for most reading this article, you’ll think, “That’s
not me.  I don’t reek with desperation.  I might feel a
little worried or anxious at times but who doesn’t?!? I’m
not desperate!?”

My challenge to you is to remember that ANYTHING that pushes
your buttons on ANY level, anything that causes you to
adamantly say ‘That’s not me!,’ is the EXACT negative
emotion and belief insidiously sabotaging your dream. The
real question is not ‘am I doing the right thing’ nor ‘how
will I know?’ but what causes this fear?  What are the
thoughts, fears, and beliefs underneath this question that
make me fearful that I might have to settle for less or
worse, not achieve my dream at all?

Is it something like the following?

I’m afraid I must be doing the wrong thing. And, if I’m
doing it wrong then I will never get it right, never find my
soul-mate, or it’ll take too long.  If it takes too long
then I will be lonely, sad, and pathetic for most of my life
and this is too much to bear.  Maybe, I was just born to be
alone. Maybe, I’m not worthy loving or not deserving of true

You see, I know the thoughts well, because I’ve had plenty
of limiting and fearful thoughts in my past about everything
from ‘will I ever find my true love’ to ‘how will I ever be
successful’ to … well, you get the idea the list goes on and

First, you want to FACE the fearful, negative thoughts.  Dig
them up and look them square in the eye!  What is the worst
thing this says about me, if this ‘fear’ were to come true?

Usually, in addition to the ‘fear of being alone’, ‘fear of
having to settle’, ‘fear of never finding someone to love as
much as you loved your previous lover,’ etc.   Underneath
these surface fears, will be more destructive thoughts and

I’d like to share with you two types of beliefs to look out

First, look for your core beliefs.  Core beliefs are usually
overarching thoughts that are about ‘you as a person’.  They
will be the limiting beliefs that come up repeatedly
throughout your life such as:

– I’m not good enough.

– I’m not smart enough.

– I’m not worthy.

– I do not deserve.

– I’m too stupid, selfish, ugly, fat, etc.

– They were right, I’ll never amount to anything.

– I can’t do it.  There’s something wrong with me.

– I was born deficient.

– I am unlovable (and so many nasty untruths!)

These are the decisions we made long ago when a parent,
teacher, or authority figure said (or didn’t say), did (or
didn’t do) what we needed in that moment to feel lovable,
worthy, valuable, and deserving.  

Guess what?  It’s time to get over it and stop allowing
those nasty moments in our past predict our future
happiness. Now, let’s talk briefly about the second type of
limiting belief.  This one is far more sinister, disguising
itself as our protector.  This second type of limiting
belief is known as the portentous secondary gain.  

Secondary gains are elusive; they are tricky, sly, and
difficult to trap unless you really know where to look.
These are the beliefs that we’ve developed as a means of
protecting ourselves from change, disappointment, pain,
hurt, judgment, responsibility, etc.

Examples of secondary gains:

– I want to lose weight but then I’ll just have to buy new
clothes.  And, since I don’t {fill-in-the-blanks- have the
money – like shopping – want to waste my old wardrobe, etc.]
thus, it’s better to stay overweight than to risk not having
any clothes.

– I want a relationship but then I may have to quit my job
because [fill-in-the-blanks- women don’t like my job, men
don’t want their women traveling, making more money than
they do, etc.} thus, it’s better to stay single than have to
lose my job.

– I want a relationship but what if I {fill-in-the-blanks –
get my heart broken again, am cheated on, end up ruining it
and hating myself, etc.}

– I want to be wealthy but then I may have to {fill-in-the-
blanks: pay my family to stay out of my business, learn
about finance, stocks, bonds, and all that ‘rich-folk’
stuff, deal with people only being my friend because they
want my money, suffer the judgment of my loved ones because
I’m wealthy and they aren’t, etc., etc.}  Thus, it’s better
to stay put, than to risk it.

– I want a new, better job but {fill-in-the-blanks -then
I’ll have to learn something new, I’m too old/tired to
change, will have to work hard again and I need a break,

– I want to let go of my anger but {fill-in-the-blanks – I’m
afraid that there’s far more difficult emotions like sorrow,
shame, or guilt waiting to overtake me if I let go of my
anger, etc.}

– I want to forgive but {fill-in-the-blanks – if I forgive
then it will happen again, it will let them off too easy,
I’ll be a fool, I might let them back into my life again,

Look carefully at ANYTHING that you’ve wanted for a long
time that continues to elude you.  Look carefully at the
benefits to staying put.  I usually ask myself a few
questions about the benefits of staying put, to uncover my
secondary gains. 

For example, if you want a relationship you might ask

– What are the benefits to not having my soul-mate, right

– How does being alone, keep my safe from harm?

– What would be the worst thing that could happen if I had a
relationship?  Is this something I’m worried about? 

– What would I have to give up in order to attend to my

– What’s the price I’d have to pay in order to make room for
a relationship?  Am I afraid that price might not be worth

Dig deep and you’ll find those secondary gains.  You are
sure to find that there are secondary gains preventing your
success all the while pretending to protect you from the
pain of failure, the heartache of loss, or the torture of

Now, once you have your inventory of limiting beliefs – EFT
the heck out of them (use Emotional Freedom Technique to
eliminate each limiting belief)!  That’s the fastest and
most consistent way I’ve used to get rid of the ridiculous
rationalizations we have for sabotaging ourselves. 

Desperation and disappointment are terribly repellant of
your goal; any goal, for that matter.  Therefore, dig a
little deeper than the initial ideas around what makes you
feel anxious or worried.  Discover the REAL reasons you feel
desperate or disappointed, and apply Emotional Freedom
Technique until you feel complete relief. 

Once you’ve done this work, the original question, “How
will I know that I’m doing it right?”
will simply be
obsolete.  In fact, that question will seem entirely
irrelevant as you instead start asking questions like, “How
do I want to show up today that will give me the greatest
  And, “I wonder what adventure spirit has in store for
me today?  I can’t wait!”

This will work – but you do have to do the ‘work’!

Thank you for the honor of supporting you!

Love and light, Anisa Aven

Comments (235)

November 3, 2009

How do I use the law of attraction to manifest someone specific?

Category: attract relationship,law of attraction,manifest a mate — Anisa @ 2:04 pm

How do I manifest someone specific?

The question was:
Q: I know who I want to be in a relationship with. Is it recommended to use their name when doing visualizations? Or should I just imagine that person? I have found the one I want to love and be loved by and now I want to use the law of attraction to create success for us both. How do I do that?

A: Well…
I have several articles I’d like to refer you to:
“How do I attract someone specific?”
When is it okay to manifest someone specific?

In a nutshell… here’s what I suggest on the Video Coaching:
– Do not focus on the specific person. This creates attachment and fear and limited success at best. Instead focus on the essence of what you believe a relationship would be like with someone who has the same qualities you LOVE about this specific person. When you focus on the ‘essence’ and detach from the ‘person’, you allow the Universe to open up thousands of pathways to support your real goal: a loving, harmonious, passionate, stable, and healthy relationship!

– If you are already in a relationship with this person – use their name/image, of course. And, find ways to detach. For example,

“I hold the vision of all that is meant to be as fulfilled now. I hold the vision of that which I desire in a relationship – health, wholeness, harmony, peace, stability, joy, passion, etc. being exactly my experience and I allow for the Divine creation of this between my mate and I now. Therefore, I am willing to be flexible and patient as this unfolds according to both of our Divine Plans. This or something better for the best of all parties involved is happening now. So be it!”

Comments (357)

June 9, 2009

How do I Change HIM so the WE can live happily ever after?

Category: Affirmations,attract relationship,Audios Free Downloads,law of attraction,manifest a mate,Videos — Anisa @ 7:07 pm

Dear Anisa:

“I’m in love with a man who confesses that he has fear of commitment. He’s 38 years old. He has been before in a relationship for 10 years. Then he left her and been in another relationship for 3 years. They got engaged for 1 year then he left her although he was in love with her, saying that there were family issues he couldn’t handle.

We met few months ago and we got along very quickly. He said he’s longing for a serious relationship and for marriage. But at the same time, he keep on telling me that I should work hard to make him fall in love with my body in a way he won’t look at any other woman in the world. He says his fear of commitment is because he craves sexual relationship and that he has a fear of things getting stale and losing interest. That’s why he has a fear of commitment.

I don’t know anymore how to deal with that issue. I like him a lot. We understand each other in so many ways. But I’m longing too for a serious relationship. And I’m afraid that I fall for him more and more and that he leaves me at the end because he can’t commit.

I’ll be grateful for your advice!” – A conscious creator friend

If I were in your shoes, what I’d be thinking is, “I really like this man – how can I get him to change so that we can live happily ever after?” And, if I were your girlfriend, I’d be saying something terribly small-minded like, “What are you nuts?! He’s admitted to being a player?!? He’s even said YOU need to make sure you are perfectly gorgeous so that he’ll never stray!” As your girlfriend, I’d say, “Get out fast! Do not stop at Go! Do not collect $200 – run, run, run, as fast as you can!”

Now, since I’m not supposed to be your ‘girlfriend’ here, let me click into something more aligned with the Universal Truth.

The higher Truth is you two were meant to be together at this time and for a Divine reason. Second, that may or may not mean that you are meant to be together after today but today there’s a higher purpose and plan, so accept what IS as Divinely Ordered. Then, listen to your heart and your inner guidance for your next steps. The Presence of God within you is already speaking to you, softly through your emotions. If it feels ‘wrong’, honor your emotions and ask yourself what you really want to create instead.

As a Conscious Creator, start with accepting him exactly as he is; without any caveats or requirements that he must ever change to meet your needs, wants, or desires. (Yikes! – I know that’s easier said than done! However, if you want to have a chance to ‘create’ a great relationship always start with total detachment and total acceptance of your mate exactly as he is.) Next, put your attention upon the essence of what you really want in a relationship. For example, the following may or may not be on your list…

– loving affection
– intellectual conversation
– joy and adventure
– long-term commitment
– a family oriented relationship excited about having children
– monogamous, passionate sex and romance

On the other hand, some readers here may think about what they want and discover that they are completely okay with loving the relationship exactly as it is because it serves their needs also. They may choose to surrender and give-up outdated ideas about how a relationship ‘should’ be and discover that this is just a wonderful ‘weigh-station’ between two other wonderful ‘weigh-stations’. With the Truth that we are Pure Potentiality, just because we accept something as ‘good enough for today’ does not mean that we have to accept it that way forever.

See Also my Law of Attraction Video-Coaching segment here:

Whatever you choose, remember, you get to create what you really want and your jumping off point is to first – detach and accept, then follow that with your intentions and commands of the Universal Laws.

Comments (2)

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