We were born with the unlimited potential to intentionally create (use the law of attraction) to manifest all of our heart's desires. Together, as Conscious Leaders guided by the Divine, we have the Mind Power necessary to co-create a sustainable, harmonious, peaceful, and prosperous world.  And, we can do this while also attracting and creating a passionate, loving, rich, healthy life with all of our personal dreams fulfilled.

February 2, 2010

Insidious Limiting Beliefs – How to find them and what to do with them

Category: attract relationship, conscious creation, emotional freedom technique, law of attraction, limiting beliefs, manifest a mate — Anisa @ 3:22 pm

QUICK MANIFESTING MORSELS
With Anisa Aven

Q: “I have a question on breaking down a goal (mine is
getting my soul-mate). How do you know what you should do? I
don’t want to go out in a sense of “panic” like “am I doing
the right thing?” And, then go home perhaps disappointed. Do
you get a “hint” beforehand or what? – C. San Diego

A: It’s important to understand that if you felt confident
and at ease, then you would not have the question ‘am I
doing the right thing?’ 

Thus, the important issue is what’s causing that question to
come to the surface in the first place?

Do you know what the biggest relationship repellant is? 

I bet you can guess, can’t you?

—> Desperation and Disappointment

Let’s face it.  We’ve felt the creepiness that exudes from
people that are desperate.  There’s a disturbing atmosphere
surrounding them; an unpleasant stench practically transmits
from their very being.  We sense it and are mutually
repulsed by it when they are so worried and desperate for
something that they practically pant with anxiousness and
erratic intensity. 

What’s the picture you get when you think about the
following?

- Try going to a bank for a mortgage loan when you feel
desperate about avoiding homelessness for you and your
family.

- Try taking the BAR exam, again, when you feel desperate
that you must pass or else face complete humiliation and
failure. 

- Try a new diet and exercise routine when you feel fraught
with the memories of past failures and your high school
reunion coming up.

- Try going to a singles event and at first, confident that
you are putting your best self forward  only to feel the
ticking of your biological clock reverberating within
reminding you with every passing moment that you are one
minute closer to never having a family.

Now, for most reading this article, you’ll think, “That’s
not me.  I don’t reek with desperation.  I might feel a
little worried or anxious at times but who doesn’t?!? I’m
not desperate!?”

My challenge to you is to remember that ANYTHING that pushes
your buttons on ANY level, anything that causes you to
adamantly say ‘That’s not me!,’ is the EXACT negative
emotion and belief insidiously sabotaging your dream. The
real question is not ‘am I doing the right thing’ nor ‘how
will I know?’ but what causes this fear?  What are the
thoughts, fears, and beliefs underneath this question that
make me fearful that I might have to settle for less or
worse, not achieve my dream at all?

Is it something like the following?

“I’m afraid I must be doing the wrong thing. And, if I’m
doing it wrong then I will never get it right, never find my
soul-mate, or it’ll take too long.  If it takes too long
then I will be lonely, sad, and pathetic for most of my life
and this is too much to bear.  Maybe, I was just born to be
alone. Maybe, I’m not worthy loving or not deserving of true
love.”

You see, I know the thoughts well, because I’ve had plenty
of limiting and fearful thoughts in my past about everything
from ‘will I ever find my true love’ to ‘how will I ever be
successful’ to … well, you get the idea the list goes on and
on.

First, you want to FACE the fearful, negative thoughts.  Dig
them up and look them square in the eye!  What is the worst
thing this says about me, if this ‘fear’ were to come true?

Usually, in addition to the ‘fear of being alone’, ‘fear of
having to settle’, ‘fear of never finding someone to love as
much as you loved your previous lover,’ etc.   Underneath
these surface fears, will be more destructive thoughts and
beliefs.

I’d like to share with you two types of beliefs to look out
for.

First, look for your core beliefs.  Core beliefs are usually
overarching thoughts that are about ‘you as a person’.  They
will be the limiting beliefs that come up repeatedly
throughout your life such as:

- I’m not good enough.

- I’m not smart enough.

- I’m not worthy.

- I do not deserve.

- I’m too stupid, selfish, ugly, fat, etc.

- They were right, I’ll never amount to anything.

- I can’t do it.  There’s something wrong with me.

- I was born deficient.

- I am unlovable (and so many nasty untruths!)

These are the decisions we made long ago when a parent,
teacher, or authority figure said (or didn’t say), did (or
didn’t do) what we needed in that moment to feel lovable,
worthy, valuable, and deserving.  

Guess what?  It’s time to get over it and stop allowing
those nasty moments in our past predict our future
happiness. Now, let’s talk briefly about the second type of
limiting belief.  This one is far more sinister, disguising
itself as our protector.  This second type of limiting
belief is known as the portentous secondary gain.  

Secondary gains are elusive; they are tricky, sly, and
difficult to trap unless you really know where to look.
These are the beliefs that we’ve developed as a means of
protecting ourselves from change, disappointment, pain,
hurt, judgment, responsibility, etc.

Examples of secondary gains:

- I want to lose weight but then I’ll just have to buy new
clothes.  And, since I don’t {fill-in-the-blanks- have the
money – like shopping – want to waste my old wardrobe, etc.]
thus, it’s better to stay overweight than to risk not having
any clothes.

- I want a relationship but then I may have to quit my job
because [fill-in-the-blanks- women don’t like my job, men
don’t want their women traveling, making more money than
they do, etc.} thus, it’s better to stay single than have to
lose my job.

- I want a relationship but what if I {fill-in-the-blanks -
get my heart broken again, am cheated on, end up ruining it
and hating myself, etc.}

- I want to be wealthy but then I may have to {fill-in-the-
blanks: pay my family to stay out of my business, learn
about finance, stocks, bonds, and all that ‘rich-folk’
stuff, deal with people only being my friend because they
want my money, suffer the judgment of my loved ones because
I’m wealthy and they aren’t, etc., etc.}  Thus, it’s better
to stay put, than to risk it.

- I want a new, better job but {fill-in-the-blanks -then
I’ll have to learn something new, I’m too old/tired to
change, will have to work hard again and I need a break,
etc.}

- I want to let go of my anger but {fill-in-the-blanks – I’m
afraid that there’s far more difficult emotions like sorrow,
shame, or guilt waiting to overtake me if I let go of my
anger, etc.}

- I want to forgive but {fill-in-the-blanks – if I forgive
then it will happen again, it will let them off too easy,
I’ll be a fool, I might let them back into my life again,
etc.}

Look carefully at ANYTHING that you’ve wanted for a long
time that continues to elude you.  Look carefully at the
benefits to staying put.  I usually ask myself a few
questions about the benefits of staying put, to uncover my
secondary gains. 

For example, if you want a relationship you might ask
yourself:

- What are the benefits to not having my soul-mate, right
now?

- How does being alone, keep my safe from harm?

- What would be the worst thing that could happen if I had a
relationship?  Is this something I’m worried about? 

- What would I have to give up in order to attend to my
soul-mate?

- What’s the price I’d have to pay in order to make room for
a relationship?  Am I afraid that price might not be worth
it?

Dig deep and you’ll find those secondary gains.  You are
sure to find that there are secondary gains preventing your
success all the while pretending to protect you from the
pain of failure, the heartache of loss, or the torture of
disappointment.

Now, once you have your inventory of limiting beliefs – EFT
the heck out of them (use Emotional Freedom Technique to
eliminate each limiting belief)!  That’s the fastest and
most consistent way I’ve used to get rid of the ridiculous
rationalizations we have for sabotaging ourselves. 

Desperation and disappointment are terribly repellant of
your goal; any goal, for that matter.  Therefore, dig a
little deeper than the initial ideas around what makes you
feel anxious or worried.  Discover the REAL reasons you feel
desperate or disappointed, and apply Emotional Freedom
Technique until you feel complete relief. 

Once you’ve done this work, the original question, “How
will I know that I’m doing it right?” will simply be
obsolete.  In fact, that question will seem entirely
irrelevant as you instead start asking questions like, “How
do I want to show up today that will give me the greatest
joy?”  And, “I wonder what adventure spirit has in store for
me today?  I can’t wait!”

This will work – but you do have to do the ‘work’!

Thank you for the honor of supporting you!

Love and light, Anisa Aven

195Comments (2)http://www.creatavision.com/wordpress/insidious-limiting-beliefs-how-to-find-them-and-what-to-do-with-them/Insidious+Limiting+Beliefs+-+How+to+find+them+and+what+to+do+with+them2010-02-02+20%3A22%3A56Anisa