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We were born with the unlimited potential to intentionally create (use the law of attraction) to manifest all of our heart's desires. Together, as Conscious Leaders guided by the Divine, we have the Mind Power necessary to co-create a sustainable, harmonious, peaceful, and prosperous world.  And, we can do this while also attracting and creating a passionate, loving, rich, healthy life with all of our personal dreams fulfilled.

March 10, 2011

Lessons in Detachment 7 of 10: If What You’re Doing Isn’t Working, Do Something Different

Category: Attract Opportunities,Audios Free Downloads,conscious creation,Creative Manifesting,Law of Allowing,law of attraction,Law of Detachment,NLP,Videos — Anisa @ 7:07 am

Why are we studying detachment? Isn’t detachment just a matter of learning to “Let Go and Let the Divine” work in our lives? Yes. However, knowing that we must “let go” consistently and actually doing it are two different things. Stress, for example, in many cases is a clear sign that you are attached to something and in oppositional resistance to your real desires. Everything you desire is in vibrational harmony with the peace and appreciation that comes from being detached and allowing (yes, everything). By practicing the ideas in this series you will engage in consistent peace and more readily know that all is well, no matter what. Master detachment and you will master the art of intentional creation.

This brings us to the topic of today’s lesson in detachment. It is a simple idea really: If what you are doing isn’t working, do something different. This too is an NLP (Neuro-Linguistics programming) pre-supposition. At first consideration, this may seem trite and elementary, as we all know this in theory. However, being detached includes maintaining our clear, connected state of flow in all situations. Thus, if you can make this idea, “If what I’m doing isn’t working, I will choose to do something different” as an ethos, or a way of living, then flow, connection, solution oriented thinking and action oriented behaving becomes a more natural path.

If you want something different, you will have to do something different, and continue to vary your behaviors until you get the result you really want. This underlying assumption automates your intention to be flexible. And, we learned in Lessons in Detachment Video 5, the most flexible person has the most power and influence in any situation. Thus, the more you accept and apply this idea, “If what I’m doing isn’t working, I just need to do something different until I find the method that works” the more detached and vibrationally aligned with your true desires, you become.

In practice, this idea assumes there’s a solution to every problem if you’re prepared to keep looking until you find it. For example, if a person wants to lose weight and get healthy, they must first recognize, “What I’m doing isn’t working, I need to do something different”. If a person wants to succeed in school or succeed or in business, they may have to first realize, “I will have to do things differently than I have before.”

As students of the law of attraction, we’ve learned that what we focus upon expands. And this idea “If what you’re doing isn’t working, do something different. And, you have to vary you behaviors until you manifest the result you desire” shifts our perspective from what’s not working, to “I’m willing to experiment until I find the formula that works.” It’s literally an attitude adjustment and a time proven formula for success.

The most successful people that have ever lived think this way. Thomas Edison, held over 1000 patents including a voice recorder, a battery for an electric car, recorded music, movies, the light-bulb, and of course he was the originator of the crazy concept that we could ALL have electricity inside our homes, businesses, and factories. His ideas, at the time, were completely unrealistic and even absurd. He was successful, by his own admission, not because he was a genius but because he believed success was 99% perspiration and 1% inspiration. He once said, “I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.” This is the exact same ethos as, “If what I’m doing isn’t working, I choose to do something different.”

I could go on and on about how the most successful people that have ever lived fully embrace and live by this idea. Possibly the most famous of Einstein’s quotes is “Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.” Yet, in our everyday lives we are often insane with repetitive behaviors.

How many people, now be honest, are constantly late for appointments? Is it because you do not possess the capacity to be on time? Not likely. The same old thinking, “Oh… there’s plenty of time” for example’ will produce the same old results, “I can’t believe we are going to be late again!”

What about your relationships? How many times have you tried the same old way to get your needs met only to be disappointed in the lack of change? The same old thinking, “I have to throw a fit to get any results” will produce the same old experience, “They never listen to me”.

The problem is that we get attached and disconnected when we start to feel as though we are out of options, as though it must be a capacity issue; a fear that we or the person we are frustrated with does not possess the capacity for growth, change, or success.

What about money?? How many do we know that desperately want to be financially secure and attract prosperity, yet they continue to behave irresponsibly, over-indulging and behaving recklessly with their money?

This repeated pattern of “I’m affirming and believing in my financial unlimitedness” followed by “I’m so wealthy I can go ahead and spend a bunch of money… “followed by “I cannot believe I’m over-drawn again! I cannot believe I’m such a terrible money manager. When will I ever manifest the prosperity that is supposed to be mine? I just don’t get it! Maybe, I’m just not good enough or it’s not meant to be for me?”

Without the idea, “If what you’re doing isn’t working do something different”, you begin to question your capacity; your innate ability to create and achieve the success you really desire.

When you question your capacity, you are questioning your very core; you are questioning whether or not you actually possess the ability, the talent, and the deservedness to experience love, wealth, health and success. Just the act of wondering whether or not you deserve it, immediately causes distress. The stress of “I’m not good enough” or any derivative thereof is another example of attachment. You see, you shut down the flow of possibility; the flow of the Divine, every time you even ponder for a moment – “what’s wrong with me that I can’t get what I want?” This is another way that we get attached to the outcome. In that moment, you are creating the opposite of what you really desire. And, STRESS is your indicator that you are attached and not practicing the law of allowing.

Here’s a decision that I encourage you to make: Do not question your capacity, question your methodology. If you are not ‘on time’ it’s not your capacity it’s your methodology. If your relationship life stinks, it’s not your capacity that’s the problem, but the way you go about relating to others that’s in question. If you have money troubles, it’s not your capacity for creating wealth that’s in question; it’s the way you go about attracting, managing, and making it that’s in question.

One word of advice – most people will fall short on implementing this idea because it requires effort. And, it requires thinking to embrace the truth that there’s another way, another solution to every problem. Your work will be to stick with it until you find the choice and the behavior that creates the fulfillment you seek.

If what you are doing isn’t working, do something different. Be willing to vary your behavior until you get it, & don’t question your capacity, question your methodology. This one idea – can create an avalanche of prosperity, love, and fulfillment for you. Now, let’s put it into practice.

1) Consider something that you feel STRESSED about.
2) What are you doing?
3) What are 10 ways to do it differently?
4) Choose one.
Imagine the future as you would like it, while trying on this new option/behavior.
5) Go do it.
6) Did it work? Yes, keep doing it. No, do something different.

To join other like-minded creators and co-create your best year ever, visit WWW.PCC.CreataVision.com for information on my Power Creators Club or visit www.AnisaAven.com and be sure to subscribe to my conscious creation 101 ecourse – a 5 part ecourse on the basics of manifesting.

Want to go deeper into the Law of Detachment?

Watch the other videos in this series: Lessons in Detachment (also using NLP pre-suppositions to master the law of detachment.)

If you like my videos, please share them (and get a big kiss from me, from afar!)

@AnisaAven There’s a solution to every problem, if you’re prepared to keep at it until you get it. Video #LOA #NLP http://bit.ly/gQeDc6

There’s a solution to every problem, if you’re prepared to keep at it until you get it. Learn this and you’ll be practicing the law of allowing. – Anisa Aven, Video: http://bit.ly/gQeDc6

Have a comment/question, I appreciate you visiting my YouTube site and adding your ideas there! Thank you!

Copyright, 2011 CreataVision Enterprises, Anisa Aven.

Comments (4)

March 1, 2011

Lessons in Detachment: Video 6 of 10 Choice is Better Than No Choice

Category: Audios Free Downloads,conscious creation,Creative Manifesting,Law of Allowing,law of attraction,Law of Detachment,limiting beliefs,LOA doesn't work for me,NLP,Videos — Anisa @ 3:20 pm

Quick Manifesting Morsel with Anisa Aven

Lessons in the Law of Detachment: Video 6 of 10 Choice is Better Than No Choice


The Law of Attraction cannot be employed without the Law of Detachment. They go hand in hand. And, the Law of Detachment says you must relinquish your attachment to have your desires manifest.

This means that the Essence of detachment is Equanimity (a state of being centered, faithful, aligned and serene, no matter what you see or experience.) In Lessons in Detachment, we will explore exactly what it means to intentionally detach from the outcome and HOW exactly to do it. Be sure to explore all of the detachment videos and you will have a greater understanding of how to finally Let Go, and Let God, create miracles in your life.

Everything you desire is aligned with peace. If you want

to create more love in your life, then obtain greater peace in your heart. If you want to create more prosperity, then obtain greater peace in your heart. Being detached from the
outcome produces that peace in your heart. However, detachment can be tricky and slippery and that’s why I’ve created this series; to help you take The Law of Detachment to a deeper level. When you fully embrace the law of detachment, you become a better manifestor. When you fully understand exactly what it means to remain detached then you leverage the full power of the law of attraction. In fact, you cannot be a masterful creator without integrating detachment.

Now, let’s explore the subject of this lesson on detachment:Choice is better than no choice. (Also an NLP presupposition – a belief that when applied creates a solid foundation upon which to be more intentional and influential in every situation.) Think about this for a moment:“Choice is Better than No Choice.” Now, how do we apply this in our lives to be more allowing; to practice the law of detachment and become more effective conscious creators?

This idea goes hand in hand with the lesson in video 5: The Law of Requisite Variety – translated as the person with the greatest flexibility has the greatest influence.

This idea, that choice is better than no choice helps us to be more flexible in the moment. We get to choose how we respond to each situation; thus taking ownership of our experience.

One of the key tenants that helped me to live a more intentional life, I learned from Jack Canfield in about 1992. He shared with me his equation: E+R= O (the Event plus our Response equals the Outcome. Event + My Response = The Outcome) It is not the event alone that determines the outcome of a situation but the event plus our response to
that event that determines the outcome.

For example, there will be times when you feel you are backed into a corner with no way out. We may feel that you have NO choice. But, you ALWAYS, without exception have choices. It’s a matter of choosing which option is right for you. Even when you are unable to physically choose something different, you still have the choice of your emotions. In fact you have many choices.

Choice is better than no choice – teaches us to be mindful of the truth that we always have options. There’s fight, flight, freeze, and flow, for example.

We can fight! We can strike like a defensive snake! And, sometimes that feels like the best choice.

We can flee or take flight. Or, we can freeze, until we figure out how to respond.

Heck – sometimes it’s even better to play dead as a choice!

Even Playing Dead is a Choice... “Ueghhh…. I’m just going to roll-over and play dead for a minute.”

Or we can also learn to choose to FLOW! We can choose to go with the flow and practice the art of the aikido way. This is a skill that we can develop as we begin to fully embrace

the truth that choice is better than no choice. And, the choice of flow is the most aligned with the law of detachment and the art of allowing.

Let me explain. Morihei Ueshiba, the famous martial artist and founder of Aikido, believed that it was important to extend love and compassion to all, and especially to those who seek to harm others. Aikido is often translated as “the way of unifying with life energy” or as “the way of harmonious spirit.”

Ueshiba’s goal was to create a martial art that practitioners could use to defend themselves while also protecting their attacker from injury. Out of this philosophy and spiritual path, was born Aikido, a martial art that teaches the student to receive an attack while harmlessly redirecting it. In an ideal resolution, not only is the receiver unharmed, but so is the attacker.

When considering your choices, the highest most aligned choice, will align with no harm across all channels. Thus, flow and the aikido way is one option that uses the energy of the situation for a more enlightened and harmonious outcome. By adopting the idea that choice is better than no choice and combining it with the person with the greatest

flexibility has the greatest influence, you will find yourself living more in the flow of life more often and thus detached and allowing.

I’d like to give you some examples of how to employ Choice is Better than No choice.

You’ve heard of Murphy’s law?

Everything than can go wrong, will go wrong – that’s the summation of Murphy’s law.

When we remember that it is our response to the event that creates the outcome and we always have a choice as to how we respond, then we turn Murphy’s law upside down. For

example, a more harmonious choice would be, “Even if it goes wrong, I choose to see it as perfectly imperfect.”

Another example of a limiting belief (Murphy’s Law) turned upside down, is “Nothing is ever as simple as it first seems.” A choice that is more aligned with the law of detachment would be,“Even if nothing is as simple as it seems, I choose to be comfortable with complexity.”

Here’s one more. The limiting belief that “every activity takes more time than you have” becomes, “even if it takes more time than I have, I choose to eventually have enough time.”

It’s very important that I make the point that Choice is Better than No Choice means having more freedom, flexibility and personal responsibility for your life. All of which are essential for leveraging the power of detachment. I heard a story once that has stayed with me and helped me to understand that even in the most difficult of situations, I

have the power to choose how I respond.

There was once a ruthless warlord that captured a town where there were many monks. The warlord was infamous for killing without cause, slaughtering people for no reason and many monks fled to the hills.

But, one monk remained in prayer. The warlord came upon him and with rage-filled annoyance said, “What are you doing? Don’t you know who I am? I can run my sword through you without blinking an eye.”

The monk finished his prayer, rose
slowly, looked the warlord in the eyes and calmly said,“Don’t you know who I am? You can run your sword through me and I will never blink an eye.”

You see, we get to choose how we respond to even the most difficult situations. And, choice means greater freedom and flexibility; both of which produce greater solutions and enact the law of allowing. How do you practice this?

Exercise:

  • Consider a time when you felt backed into a corner without options.
  • Re-frame it using this new belief: Choice is better than no choice.
  • Consider how it might have been different had you believed that you had options.
  • Ask yourself: How could I have responded with Fight? Flight? Freeze? Flow?
  • Now go into your future.
  • Think of a time when you mightfeel backed into a corner or as though you have no options.
  • Knowing there’s always a choice as to how you respond, what are your options?

Thank you for the honor of supporting you!  And, thank you for leaving feedback on the YouTube video.

To join other like-minded creators and co-create your best year ever, visit WWW.PCC.CreataVision.com for information on my Power Creators Club or visit www.AnisaAven.com and be sure to subscribe to my conscious creation 101 ecourse – a 5 part ecourse on the basics of manifesting.

Want to go deeper into the Law of Detachment?

Watch the other videos in this series: Lessons in Detachment (also using NLP pre-suppositions to master the law of detachment.)

If you like my videos, please share them (and get a big kiss from me, from afar!)

Tweet it Practice detachment by remembering you always have a choice as to how you respond #NLP #LOA http://bit.ly/fAUxsj

Facebook Practice the Law of Allowing by remembering we always have a choice as to how we respond from Anisa Aven’s lessons on Detachment videos: http://bit.ly/fAUxsj

Have a comment/question, I appreciate you visiting my YouTube site and adding your ideas there! Thank you!

Copyright, 2011 CreataVision Enterprises, Anisa Aven.

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Written & copyrighted by Anisa Aven. Receive Anisa’s FREE Conscious Creation 101: a  5-part e-course on the basics of Manifesting by visiting  http://www.creatavision.com/creative-manifesting.htm.

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February 22, 2011

Lessons in Detachment: Video 5 of 10: The Law of Requisite Variety (The Most Flexible Has the Most Influence)

Category: Audios Free Downloads,Law of Allowing,law of attraction,Law of Detachment,LOA doesn't work for me,NLP,Videos — Anisa @ 1:14 pm

Lessons in Detachment:  Video 5 of 10 The Law of Requisite Variety: The Person with the Most Flexibility Has the Most Influence

Hello!  This is Anisa Aven and this is vibrational video coaching #5 of 10 in my series: Lessons in Detachment.

The Law of Detachment says “You must relinquish your attachment to your desire, to have it manifest.”

To become a master conscious creator, you must employ the Law of Attraction & the Law of Detachment together. Detachment is the art of allowing whatever is, to be perfect in and of itself.

This brings us to the subject of this video The Law of Requisite Variety:  The Person with the Greatest Flexibility Has the Greatest Influence (An NLP – Neurolinguistics Programming – key presupposition – this is a BELIEF that when implemented will provide you a stable, detached & very resourceful foundation.)

Let’s read that again – The Person with the Greatest Flexibility Has the Greatest Influence

Like many of the lessons in this series, understanding this idea will make a significant difference in your ability to leverage the law of detachment.   Here’s what I want you to know.   Our primary role in every relationship and every situation is to become the most flexible element within the system.  If the most flexible element, controls and influences the outcome then by focusing on being flexible you are actually focusing on solutions and thus practicing the law of allowing.

We will face times when we are met with unexpected and unappreciated changes.  And, if we choose to be inflexible – we will crack just like this egg as the vice-grip of life presses upon us.

It is IN relationship to others and IN relationship to life that we often become inflexible and inflexibility equals resistance, which equals attachment.  When we are attached to the outcome or attached to how we think things should be, we halt our greater good and our Divine Flow.  Often, our inflexibility is an unconscious attempt at protecting ourselves (like the hard shell of an egg).  We believe that we must stand strong and be uncompromising in order to be safe.  However, we are soft on the inside and our hard shell is weak and provides little protection.

Virginia Satir, probably the most celebrated, and effective family therapist ever studied said flexibility is crucial in relationships as it influences how a person feels in a family, she wrote, “Feelings of worth can flourish only in an atmosphere where individual differences are appreciated, mistakes are tolerated, communication is open, and rules are flexible – the kind of atmosphere that is found in a nurturing family”

Being flexible is a strong and powerful response to life’s changes.   Lao Tzu (founder of Taoism) said, “Nothing is softer or more flexible than water, yet nothing can resist it.” By choosing to be as flexible and flowing as water, you become the most influential element in the system – whether that system is your relationship, your family, your work, or any other aspect of your life.

Many of us have a habit of resisting change and refusing to release our firm grip on life; not realizing that this prevents our dreams from coming true.  Resistance and inflexibility do not help us manifest!!! In fact, it is just the opposite that is true.  It is better to bend than to break.

I am not saying you should compromise on your values or your principles in order to ‘get along’ or ‘make nice.’  “Niceness” is over-rated if you ask me.  However, kindness and a commitment to being flexible in your approach produces greater strength and greater access to resourcefulness.

When you find yourself being inflexible, remember how the natives in North Africa capture Monkeys!  It’s very easy.  They simply fill a gourd with a monkey’s favorite treats ( nuts or fruits) then when the monkey puts its tiny hand through the hole to grab the nuts, the monkey clenches his fist around the treat but now he cannot pull his hand back out.  The hole is too small for the monkey to withdraw with a clenched fist; but being too stubborn to let go of the nuts, he will work all night pulling and pulling without success.   Then, he is easily captured at the break of dawn, because he was too stubborn and inflexible to know when to relax and let it go.

Watch for inflexibility traps, such as “But this is how we’ve always done it.”  Instead learn how to ask questions about the ‘tradition’ and learn how to willingly change plans when unexpected conditions require an adaptive response.  Beware of getting discouraged when plans change. When you realize you are resisting change, choose to be the one that bends, refuse to allow anxiety to rule you.  Instead look for the inner strength to respond gracefully and with ease and flexibility.

How do I learn to be more flexible?

Instead of being stubborn, upset with change, impatient and closed-minded, CHOOSE to be flexible and adaptable; choose to allow change, to be patient and to be open-minded.

How to Practice Flexibility:

  • Be willing to be wrong.
  • Be willing to not know the right answer.
  • Be willing to be imperfect.
  • Be willing to change ideas and plans.
  • Be willing to be open to other’s suggestions.
  • Be willing to view emergencies as opportunities for growth.
  • Be willing to give up on activities that conflict with your values.
  • Being willing to help others.
  • Be willing to listen to the advice of others.
  • Be willing to observe and model those who have the success, health, love or prosperity you desire.

Blessed are the hearts that can bend; they shall never be broken.” – Albert Camus (French Novelist, 1957 Nobel Peace Prize for Literature.)

Comments (4)

February 15, 2011

Lessons in Detachment: 4 of 10 People Do the Best They Can

Category: Law of Allowing,law of attraction,Law of Detachment,LOA doesn't work for me,NLP,Videos — Anisa @ 7:01 am

Lessons in Detachment: Video 4 of 10, People Do the Best They Can, With the Resources They Have

Hello! This is Anisa Aven and this is vibrational video coaching #4 of 10 in my series – Lessons in Detachment. The Law of Detachment says You must relinquish your attachment to your desire, to have it manifest. The essence is that state of equanimity – Equanimity is defined as being calm and centered internally no matter what’s happening externally. Detachment therefore is aligned with being Centered – Faithful – and Serene – no matter what you see or experience before you.

The law of detachment can be challenging. That’s why we are studying and practicing the beliefs addressed in this series: Lessons in Detachment – we will explore exactly what it means to intentionally detach from the outcome and HOW exactly to do it. Be sure to explore all of my conscious success and law of detachment videos and you will have a greater understanding of how to finally Let Go, and Let God… create miracles in your life.

Detachment is the art of allowing whatever is, to be perfect in and of itself.

This brings us to the subject of this video People Do The Best They Can With the Resources They Have. (An NLP – Neurolinguistics Programming – key presupposition – this is a BELIEF that when implemented will provide you a steady, stable, and detached foundation.

Let’s read that again – People Do The Best They Can With the Resources They Have –This one will not automatically be easy to accept. Like the mindset of video #3 in this series (Under every behavior is a positive intent) there will be many arguments that this is NOT true.

Many watching this video will instantly reject this idea: “What about mass murderers” are they making the best choice available at the time? Are you saying Hitler made the best choice available to him at the time?” NO – That is NOT what this assumption supports — it goes without saying that people who commit crimes and hurt others are not making the best choice – but the full belief ‘people make the best choice available to them at the time given who they are, and what they know to this point’ has far-reaching benefits when you act as if this were true, even when it’s not –This assumption affords us a level of automatic compassion and empathy that bypasses a significant cause of detachment and disconnection. Let me explain…

This idea “that people do the best they can given the resources they have” goes hand in hand with the idea from last week’s video #3, “underneath every behavior is a positive intent.” These two ideas, may not be True with a capital – it’s always true T, but by acting as if this were always true, you can and will be in a better position to detach from negativity and judgment in your relationships… by accepting this as your belief, you will find yourself more willing to love and forgive.

… And, since relationships and our response to the people in our lives can either be the source of great joy or the source of great pain, developing the ability and in this case the mindset that ‘people are always doing the best they can given who they are and what they know up until this point’ will support you in practicing the law of allowing.

You see when we are ill-equipped to understand others, we easily disconnect from source and when we are disconnected, we attach to our assumptions, our desires, our need to be right, what we believe another should or should not do, what we believe they should have been capable of doing, what we need from that relationship etc… and ALL attachment, no matter how justified our judgment may be causes disconnection from Source – it’s this disconnection that halts our Divine Good – our ability to manifest our true desires.

Learning how to intentionally apply compassion on queue and intentionally forgive in a consistent and meaningful way will produce greater connection to your real Source and Supply – the Presence of God –and thereby connect you with the energy that creates worlds This IS practicing the law of detachment. As mentioned in video 3, The Course in Miracles says Forgiveness is the key to happiness. We cannot leverage the law of allowing without mastering the art of forgiveness.

I want to address any resistance you may be feeling about this idea, right up front. Argue that this belief: “People Do the Best They Can, with the Resources They Have” is not true…& You will win that argument. We all know that sometimes people do things they know they shouldn’t do. The business man that embezzles money and goes to jail, knows better.

The child who makes a mistake on his class assignment, could have tried harder or studied more. A physician that makes a critical error after two decades of school and practice, should have and could have been able to prevent the blunder.

I want to make a distinction here – understand that just because a person is doing their best given the resources they have at that moment –does not mean that it is THE best…, but it is their best given what they know, the environment they are in, and who they are up until that moment – & given their current level of consciousness…. They are doing the best they can, given their capacity, their skills, and their current consciousness at that moment.

If you look for evidence that a person could have done better – or should have known better – or that they were not doing their best – you will most assuredly find it. Thus I am not saying this is a belief that serves all situations at all times – for example, if you are a prosecuting attorney, I’m not so sure the belief that people do the best they can given their resources at the moment would serve your cause.

However, this series is about how to apply the law of detachment. & therefore – our aim is to find that state of EQUANIMITY.

Being detached supports a state of equanimity – which is the quality of being calm and even-tempered, maintaining our composure – no matter what is happening around us.

By acting as if this were true: “People do the best they can given their current resources” you by-pass judgment, assume a position of compassion, and are better equipped to influence the situation.

Here’s an example from my own life. This is a picture of my nephew, Marc (in the video). Here he’s wake-boarding behind our boat. Marc is 24 years old and he lives with us, because I’m the only family member that’s willing to support him. Because – Marc can’t get to work on time, to keep a job. Long story short… he was doing really well for about 90 days. Well, this morning he just didn’t get out of bed. He was trusted to do it himself and guess what? You got it – he didn’t make it. So, here we are once again – facing the possibility of him losing yet another job because he can’t get himself out of bed on time.

Now, we can look at my ignorance and say, “Anisa – you should’ve known better… ” and granted, there’s a good argument that this is true. We can look at Marc and say, “He knows better than to flake out and risk getting fired again.” Both perspectives are justified. And, I’m well within my rights to be upset – considering how much we’ve given to him. However, does that view, “that he knows better” help me influence the situation? Does it help me remain intentional and yet detached? NO. The assumption that he should’ve done better, only holds me in a place of disconnection, a very attached, weak, and powerless place.

Now, let’s look at this through the lens of ‘people do the best they can with the resources they have. ” With this assumption, I can move towards forgiveness. This does not mean there won’t be consequences. But, from this view, I can accept that he’s a grown man; If he chooses to be irresponsible, it’s his choice. And I can choose to continue to allow him to live in my house under those conditions or I can choose to find solutions that will help him grow and develop the necessary resources he needs to become a functional, mature, positively contributing member of society.

I find that by assuming this is true – that we all do the best we can, given the resources we have – I am instantly aligned with solutions, compassion, possibility and I allow Marc to be Marc and people to be people.

Now how about you put this into practice:

1) Consider a recent conflict in a relationship.

2) How would it have been different if you had assumed, “People Do They Best They Can With the Resources They Have”?

3) Ask Yourself: How can this assumption help my relationships in the future.

4) Write this down.

5) Now, moving forward set an intention to allow this assumption that people are ALWAYS doing the best they can given the resources they have at the time to be your default setting.

Shortly, you’ll find yourself less reactive and more accepting and influential in every relationship. I promise you’ll be amazed at how much more influence you have in every relationship when you do.

Thank you for the honor of supporting you! To join other like-minded creators and co-create your best year ever:

Visit http://www.PCC.CreataVision.com for information on my Power Creators Club or visit www.AnisaAven.com and be sure to subscribe to my conscious creation 101 ecourse – a 5 part ecourse on the basics of manifesting.

Want to go deeper into the Law of Detachment?

Watch the other videos in this series: Lessons in Detachment (also using NLP pre-suppositions to master the law of detachment.)

If you like my videos, please share them (and get a big kiss from me, from afar!)

Comments (8)

February 9, 2011

Lessons in Detachment: 3of10 Every Behavior Has a Positive Intent

Category: Audios Free Downloads,conscious creation,Creative Manifesting,Law of Allowing,law of attraction,Law of Detachment,LOA doesn't work for me,NLP,Videos — Anisa @ 11:57 am

Lessons in Detachment: Video 3 of 10 – Every Behavior Has a Positive Intent

Hello! This is Anisa Aven and this is vibrational video coaching #3 of 10 in my series – Lessons in Detachment. The Law of Detachment says you must relinquish your attachment to have your desires manifest. This means that the Essence of detachment is Equanimity – one of being centered – Faithful – Aligned – and Serene – no matter what you see or experience. Detachment can be the most troubling aspect of conscious creation. In Lessons in Detachment – we will explore exactly what it means to intentionally detach from the outcome and HOW exactly to do it. Be sure to explore all of the detachment videos and you will have a greater understanding of how to finally Let Go, and Let God… create miracles in your life.

Detachment is the art of allowing whatever is, to be perfect in and of itself. Which brings us to the subject of this video: Every Behavior Has a Positive Intent (In NLP – Neurolinguistics Programming – this is a key presupposition – this is a BELIEF that when implemented will provide you a steady, stable, and detached foundation.

This one and the next Video/Belief in this series (video #4) will not automatically go over well or easily. There will be many arguments that this is NOT true and much evidence that could refute this idea. Perhaps you’re even saying, “what about lying, cheating, stealing, or mass murder? Are you saying that murderers have a positive intent?” No, hurting others is never a positive or acceptable behavior. And, that’s not the aim of this assumption.

However, there’s always a positive intent underneath the behavior. People believe they will gain something positive or they would NOT choose the behavior. This idea that underneath every behavior, no matter how misguided the behavior, no matter how wrong the behavior, no matter how horrific the behavior – underneath it the person has some belief that there will be a positive gain or they would not do it. Thus, this assumption that every behavior has a positive intent allows us to bypass the judgments (that cause disconnection) and bypass our reactions and instead look for the positive intent underneath the behavior. This re-focusing on the question, “what did they hope to gain from this?” shifts our perspective to one of awareness and potential compassion. When we find the positive intent, we learn to allow people to be people, and that ALLOWANCE is the art of detachment.

Okay – I’ve explained the assumption but so what? How will this help us be detached from the outcome? How will accepting this idea support us in utilizing the power of our minds and the law of attraction? The answer lies in our relationships. ALL emotional turmoil is disconnection from the Divine. And, what’s the cause of much of our disconnection – our emotional turmoil? Relationships! It’s our family, love, co-workers, neighbors and even the relationship we have with the world at large. When we are ill-equipped to understand the motives of others, we easily disconnect from source and when we are disconnected, we attach to our assumptions, our desires, our need to be right, what we believe another should or should not do, what we need from our relationship(s) etc. And ALL attachment, no matter how justified we are causes disconnection from Source. It’s this disconnection that halts our Divine Good – our ability to manifest our true desires.

The Course in Miracles says, “Forgiveness is the central theme that runs throughout salvation.” And, “Forgiveness is the key to happiness.” We cannot leverage the law of allowing without mastering the art of forgiveness. When we integrate this assumption that Every Behavior Has a Positive Intent, we easily slip into compassion and forgiveness – two necessary ingredients for connection and detachment.

This idea That Every Behavior Has a Positive Intent along with the next assumption in this series (People Do the Best they Can – be sure to watch video #4 in this series) can make a significant difference in your ability to detach from the negativity in your relationships. You will find yourself more willing to love and forgive. So, let’s talk about how to implement this idea.

First, understand that just because there’s always going to be a positive intent – some idea that there will be a pay-off to the behavior – does not mean that every behavior is the best way to fulfill a need. It is also not meant to absolve a person of their hurtful actions – they are still responsible for their choices.

Let’s apply this more deeply. For example, consider the man that cheats on his wife. What’s the positive intent under the behavior? Perhaps it’s to experience adrenaline, or the rush of getting away with something. Or since we are just guessing here – perhaps his wife is frigid or crazy or abusive and he just needs to feel alive and loved again. Now, let’s look at it from her point of view. What’s the positive intent underneath whacking her husband with a crow-bar? Perhaps it’s retribution – that internal need to stand up for ourselves, to feel important, special, powerful or acknowledged. Or perhaps she’s afraid for her children and how she will survive without him.

Now remember we are NOT ever saying the behavior is positive or the best way to fulfill our needs but we are choosing to act as if, there’s some positive intent underneath every behavior. And, by figuring this out, we can more readily inspire and create change AND practice detachment.

What about for ourselves – how do we apply this to our lives? Here’s one example, let’s say you want to lose weight, but you have a bad day and all you really want to do is have another piece of chocolate. The behavior is self-sabotaging – eating sweets while trying to lose weight, will not help your cause. However, when we look at ourselves in the mirror and we only see the behavior, it’s hard to love ourselves; we see the failure not the person.

Yet, when we look at the intention underneath the behavior, “I just want to feel better. I just want to experience the deliciousness of life.” There’s a moment there that satisfies our need for yumminess, our need for freedom, our need for attending to our inner desires without judgment, fear, or deprivation. And, by identifying THAT need – THAT positive INTENT – we can a) choose to have compassion and b) choose to find another way to meet that Need. For example, “What else can I do to experience the deliciousness of life?”

Our objective becomes LOOK for the positive intent under the behavior, find a healthy solution for meeting that need. Here’s a resource you may find helpful – to gain a better understanding of our needs, I suggest reviewing Abraham Maslow’s Hierarchy of Human Needs. (Search online and you’ll find a visual map.)

By reviewing and studying this model you become more masterful at identifying the positive intent under the behavior. For example, when good people do bad things, often it’s a basic need (Physiological Need – Survival Need) they are trying to meet. I.E. A man steals a loaf of bread to feed his family.

Perhaps, a woman betrays her husband trying to experience more love. Or a philanderer betrays a mate trying to experience the need for achievement or conquest. Our objective is to preserve that intent (that need) by attending to it in a healthier manner and not only can we change our personal behavior without loss but we gain the ability to experience compassion and forgiveness – essential ingredients for practicing the law of detachment.

Here’s an exercise for you: Consider a past transgression against you. Re-frame it using this new assumption. Ask yourself: What was the need or positive intent they were trying to fulfill? Knowing now that they were trying to fill a need, albeit poorly, how would I feel if I had that need?

And, be sure to apply this idea to yourself as well. Extend this exercise to consider a past mistake/ poor choice that you made. Re-frame it using this new belief. Ask yourself: What was the need I was trying to fill? Knowing now that I was just trying to fill a need, what options do I have for filling that need with a more positive behavior?

Be sure to watch the other videos in this series: Lessons in Detachment (also using NLP pre-suppositions to master the law of detachment.)

Video 1: The Map is Not the Territory
Video 2: There’s no Failure, Only Feedback
Video 3: Behind Every Behavior Lies a Positive Intent
Video 4: (coming week of 2/22/11) People Do the Best They Can, With the Resources They Have

Thank you for sharing with your friends:

Focus on their positive intent not the bad behavior & be more influential, peaceful, & achieve equanimity #LOA Video http://bit.ly/ecjYiu

Facebook:

People believe they will gain something positive or they would NOT choose the behavior. By focusing on “every behavior has a positive intent” we bypass our judgments & get right to the solution – Love #LOA Video http://bit.ly/ecjYiu

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February 1, 2011

Lessons in Detachment 2of10: There’s no failure, only feedback

Category: Audios Free Downloads,Law of Allowing,law of attraction,Law of Detachment,NLP,Videos — Anisa @ 10:26 am

This is Anisa Aven and this is video #2 in my series  – Lesson on Detachment.  Detachment – being the most challenging aspect of conscious creation, I’ve decided to dive deep and explore what exactly it means to intentionally detach from the outcome.  Thus, this vibrational video coaching series was born!  Detachment is the art of allowing whatever is, to be perfect in and of itself.  This brings us to the subject of this video, for my NLP friends, you’ll recognize this as one of the key presuppositions of Neurolinguistics Programming – There’s no failure, only feedback.

ADOPT the credo ‘there’s no such thing as failure, only feedback’ and apply it across all areas of your life and you’ll be practicing the law of detachment. Remember the law of detachment says we must relinquish our attachment to something in order to have it manifest.  When we believe in failure, we are attached to the outcome – we see the experience in front of us as wrong and negative & in that moment, the moment we get disappointed – we attach to the outcome (we judge it; we deny the Divine Order; we dismiss our unlimited potential ) and we instantly disconnect from the flow of greater good, we cut off our energy source, slow down our ability to manifest and literally break the union we previously had to our Divine Good – the fulfillment of our goal that is still in the works, is now pushed further and further away – all because we believe in the possibility of failure as opposed to ‘feedback’

We have a choice – we can look at a setback as the end – a failure, or we can look at a setback as a part of the journey, a middle point that provides valuable information, essential for success.

Connected, intentional conscious creation means we see everything as a part of the Divine Plan, a part of the Divine Order of life and thus when ‘FAILURE’ STRIKES – WE choose to see it as an opportunity.  It’s a fork in the road and we choose, “Hmmm… this is an opportunity”.. An opportunity to learn, an opportunity to know what doesn’t work, an opportunity to proceed with greater knowledge than what we had before.

Successful people look at ‘failures’ as required information and required steps towards obtaining success.  The famous quote by Thomas Edison when reflecting on how many ‘failed’ attempts he had to endure to invent his version of the electric light.. He said, “If I find 10,000 ways something won’t work, I haven’t failed. I am not discouraged, because every wrong attempt discarded is another step forward.”  You see Thomas Edision held the belief – There’s no failure, only feedback.

Michael Jordan, considered the greatest basketball player the world has ever known also held the belief, “there’s no failure, only feedback.”  In a Nike Commercial that you can see on Youtube, he says, ” ‘ve missed more than 9000 shots in my career.  I’ve lost almost 300 games.  26 times I’ve been trusted to take the game winning shot, and missed.  I’ve failed over and over again in my life – & that is why I succeed.” – Michael Jordan, Nike Commercial (YouTube it!)

If you haven’t seen the Honda Dreams documentary at dreams.honda.com, I recommend it… Sochiro Honda originaly founder of Honda believed, “You can fail 100 times as long as you succeed once.”  And, carrying on that belief now is the Honda CEO, Takeo Fukui, who has said “We can only make fantastic advances in technology through many failures.”  – Takeo Fukui,  —  When Honda first started racing in 1994, by their own admission it was a massive failure; their engines blew up and they were the laughing stock of racing, but these failures were used as feedback which lead to a new engine in ’95, when they won their first race and in 96 they won the championship.  Now, Honda dominates the IRL, as the sole supplier of engines for the Indy Racing League.

Great success never happens without SOME failures along the way.  There is no such thing as failure, only feedback allows us to see life as a series of trial and error experiences that actually help us stay on the patch to success.  Our work is to VIEW each obstacle, setback or perceived failure as a LESSON to be Learned – as a NECESSARY and essential part of the journey towards success.  And, then instead of failure being a negative end result it becomes a milestone to pass on the journey – just a bump in the road, recognized as perfect in and of itself.

So try it – look at a past failure – and this time reframe it – say to yourself if this wasn’t a failure but vital information that I need to have in order to be who I am today and to continue on my journey towards life fulfillment and success – what lesson did I learn? What’s the feedback I’m to receive from this event?  Now, do this across every past ‘roadblock’ and you’ll see that there were lessons that you are using today to better facilitate your future success.  As long as we recognize and accept that there is no such thing as failure, only lessons to be learned – or feedback – we will continue on our journey towards our successful goals.

Thank you for the honor of supporting you!  To join other like-minded creators and co-create your best year ever: Visit WWW.PCC.CreataVision.com for information on my 2011 Power Creators Club or visit www.AnisaAven.com and be sure to subscribe to my conscious creation 101 ecourse – a 5 part ecourse on the basics of manifesting.

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January 18, 2011

How to Enact the Law of Detachment (Video)

Category: Law of Allowing,law of attraction,Law of Detachment,limiting beliefs,LOA doesn't work for me,Videos — Anisa @ 10:59 am

How to Enact the Law of Detachment

Watch the video below:

What you’ll learn:

  • The difference between being AT THE EFFECT of life VS. being AT CAUSE
  • How to identify attached language that is counter-creative to your dreams
  • How to create a detached attitude that supports your law of attraction efforts
  • What you are currently doing wrong with the law of attraction (if it’s not working for you, you really want to learn why.)

If you enjoyed this video, please give it some stars and thank you for sharing:

Facebook::

“Nothing is intentionally created without enacting the law of detachment. Most are not successful with the LOA because they do not know how to detach.” – Anisa Aven, watch the video http://bit.ly/gJDFY7

Twitter: (Thanks for tweeting for me!)

Not successful w/#LOA? U R likely attached & don’t even know it. See @AnisaAven video how to practice detachment. http://bit.ly/gJDFY7

Copyright, 2011 CreataVision Enterprises, Anisa Aven.

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