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We were born with the unlimited potential to intentionally create (use the law of attraction) to manifest all of our heart's desires. Together, as Conscious Leaders guided by the Divine, we have the Mind Power necessary to co-create a sustainable, harmonious, peaceful, and prosperous world. And, we can do this while also attracting and creating a passionate, loving, rich, healthy life with all of our personal dreams fulfilled.
March 1, 2011
Lessons in Detachment: Video 6 of 10 Choice is Better Than No Choice
Category: Audios Free Downloads,conscious creation,Creative Manifesting,Law of Allowing,law of attraction,Law of Detachment,limiting beliefs,LOA doesn't work for me,NLP,Videos — Anisa @ 3:20 pm
Quick Manifesting Morsel with Anisa Aven
Lessons in the Law of Detachment: Video 6 of 10 Choice is Better Than No Choice
The Law of Attraction cannot be employed without the Law of Detachment. They go hand in hand. And, the Law of Detachment says you must relinquish your attachment to have your desires manifest.
This means that the Essence of detachment is Equanimity (a state of being centered, faithful, aligned and serene, no matter what you see or experience.) In Lessons in Detachment, we will explore exactly what it means to intentionally detach from the outcome and HOW exactly to do it. Be sure to explore all of the detachment videos and you will have a greater understanding of how to finally Let Go, and Let God, create miracles in your life.
Everything you desire is aligned with peace. If you want
to create more love in your life, then obtain greater peace in your heart. If you want to create more prosperity, then obtain greater peace in your heart. Being detached from the
outcome produces that peace in your heart. However, detachment can be tricky and slippery and that’s why I’ve created this series; to help you take The Law of Detachment to a deeper level. When you fully embrace the law of detachment, you become a better manifestor. When you fully understand exactly what it means to remain detached then you leverage the full power of the law of attraction. In fact, you cannot be a masterful creator without integrating detachment.
Now, let’s explore the subject of this lesson on detachment:Choice is better than no choice. (Also an NLP presupposition – a belief that when applied creates a solid foundation upon which to be more intentional and influential in every situation.) Think about this for a moment:“Choice is Better than No Choice.” Now, how do we apply this in our lives to be more allowing; to practice the law of detachment and become more effective conscious creators?
This idea goes hand in hand with the lesson in video 5: The Law of Requisite Variety – translated as the person with the greatest flexibility has the greatest influence.
This idea, that choice is better than no choice helps us to be more flexible in the moment. We get to choose how we respond to each situation; thus taking ownership of our experience.
One of the key tenants that helped me to live a more intentional life, I learned from Jack Canfield in about 1992. He shared with me his equation: E+R= O (the Event plus our Response equals the Outcome. Event + My Response = The Outcome) It is not the event alone that determines the outcome of a situation but the event plus our response to
that event that determines the outcome.
For example, there will be times when you feel you are backed into a corner with no way out. We may feel that you have NO choice. But, you ALWAYS, without exception have choices. It’s a matter of choosing which option is right for you. Even when you are unable to physically choose something different, you still have the choice of your emotions. In fact you have many choices.
Choice is better than no choice – teaches us to be mindful of the truth that we always have options. There’s fight, flight, freeze, and flow, for example.
We can fight! We can strike like a defensive snake! And, sometimes that feels like the best choice.
We can flee or take flight. Or, we can freeze, until we figure out how to respond.
Heck – sometimes it’s even better to play dead as a choice!
“Ueghhh…. I’m just going to roll-over and play dead for a minute.”
Or we can also learn to choose to FLOW! We can choose to go with the flow and practice the art of the aikido way. This is a skill that we can develop as we begin to fully embrace
the truth that choice is better than no choice. And, the choice of flow is the most aligned with the law of detachment and the art of allowing.
Let me explain. Morihei Ueshiba, the famous martial artist and founder of Aikido, believed that it was important to extend love and compassion to all, and especially to those who seek to harm others. Aikido is often translated as “the way of unifying with life energy” or as “the way of harmonious spirit.”
Ueshiba’s goal was to create a martial art that practitioners could use to defend themselves while also protecting their attacker from injury. Out of this philosophy and spiritual path, was born Aikido, a martial art that teaches the student to receive an attack while harmlessly redirecting it. In an ideal resolution, not only is the receiver unharmed, but so is the attacker.
When considering your choices, the highest most aligned choice, will align with no harm across all channels. Thus, flow and the aikido way is one option that uses the energy of the situation for a more enlightened and harmonious outcome. By adopting the idea that choice is better than no choice and combining it with the person with the greatest
flexibility has the greatest influence, you will find yourself living more in the flow of life more often and thus detached and allowing.
I’d like to give you some examples of how to employ Choice is Better than No choice.
You’ve heard of Murphy’s law?
Everything than can go wrong, will go wrong – that’s the summation of Murphy’s law.
When we remember that it is our response to the event that creates the outcome and we always have a choice as to how we respond, then we turn Murphy’s law upside down. For
example, a more harmonious choice would be, “Even if it goes wrong, I choose to see it as perfectly imperfect.”
Another example of a limiting belief (Murphy’s Law) turned upside down, is “Nothing is ever as simple as it first seems.” A choice that is more aligned with the law of detachment would be,“Even if nothing is as simple as it seems, I choose to be comfortable with complexity.”
Here’s one more. The limiting belief that “every activity takes more time than you have” becomes, “even if it takes more time than I have, I choose to eventually have enough time.”
It’s very important that I make the point that Choice is Better than No Choice means having more freedom, flexibility and personal responsibility for your life. All of which are essential for leveraging the power of detachment. I heard a story once that has stayed with me and helped me to understand that even in the most difficult of situations, I
have the power to choose how I respond.
There was once a ruthless warlord that captured a town where there were many monks. The warlord was infamous for killing without cause, slaughtering people for no reason and many monks fled to the hills.
But, one monk remained in prayer. The warlord came upon him and with rage-filled annoyance said, “What are you doing? Don’t you know who I am? I can run my sword through you without blinking an eye.”
The monk finished his prayer, rose
slowly, looked the warlord in the eyes and calmly said,“Don’t you know who I am? You can run your sword through me and I will never blink an eye.”
You see, we get to choose how we respond to even the most difficult situations. And, choice means greater freedom and flexibility; both of which produce greater solutions and enact the law of allowing. How do you practice this?
Exercise:
- Consider a time when you felt backed into a corner without options.
- Re-frame it using this new belief: Choice is better than no choice.
- Consider how it might have been different had you believed that you had options.
- Ask yourself: How could I have responded with Fight? Flight? Freeze? Flow?
- Now go into your future.
- Think of a time when you mightfeel backed into a corner or as though you have no options.
- Knowing there’s always a choice as to how you respond, what are your options?
Thank you for the honor of supporting you! And, thank you for leaving feedback on the YouTube video.
To join other like-minded creators and co-create your best year ever, visit WWW.PCC.CreataVision.com for information on my Power Creators Club or visit www.AnisaAven.com and be sure to subscribe to my conscious creation 101 ecourse – a 5 part ecourse on the basics of manifesting.
Want to go deeper into the Law of Detachment?
Watch the other videos in this series: Lessons in Detachment (also using NLP pre-suppositions to master the law of detachment.)
If you like my videos, please share them (and get a big kiss from me, from afar!)
Practice detachment by remembering you always have a choice as to how you respond #NLP #LOA http://bit.ly/fAUxsj
Practice the Law of Allowing by remembering we always have a choice as to how we respond from Anisa Aven’s lessons on Detachment videos: http://bit.ly/fAUxsj
Have a comment/question, I appreciate you visiting my YouTube site and adding your ideas there! Thank you!
Copyright, 2011 CreataVision Enterprises, Anisa Aven.
Written & copyrighted by Anisa Aven. Receive Anisa’s FREE Conscious Creation 101: a 5-part e-course on the basics of Manifesting by visiting http://www.creatavision.com/creative-manifesting.htm.
January 18, 2011
How to Enact the Law of Detachment (Video)
Category: Law of Allowing,law of attraction,Law of Detachment,limiting beliefs,LOA doesn't work for me,Videos — Anisa @ 10:59 am
How to Enact the Law of Detachment
Watch the video below:
What you’ll learn:
- The difference between being AT THE EFFECT of life VS. being AT CAUSE
- How to identify attached language that is counter-creative to your dreams
- How to create a detached attitude that supports your law of attraction efforts
- What you are currently doing wrong with the law of attraction (if it’s not working for you, you really want to learn why.)
If you enjoyed this video, please give it some stars and thank you for sharing:
Facebook::
“Nothing is intentionally created without enacting the law of detachment. Most are not successful with the LOA because they do not know how to detach.” – Anisa Aven, watch the video http://bit.ly/gJDFY7
Twitter: (Thanks for tweeting for me!)
Not successful w/#LOA? U R likely attached & don’t even know it. See @AnisaAven video how to practice detachment. http://bit.ly/gJDFY7
Copyright, 2011 CreataVision Enterprises, Anisa Aven.
September 22, 2010
How to Infuse Certainty into your dreams for successful manifesting.
Category: Attract Prosperity,Audios Free Downloads,conscious creation,Creative Manifesting,law of attraction,limiting beliefs,LOA doesn't work for me,Videos — Anisa @ 10:32 am
Certainty is pure faith that no matter WHAT you see or WHAT you witness or WHAT you hear – ALL is WELL and ALIGNED with The Divine Order.
Certainty is understanding that it is impossible for you to have any wants, needs, or unfulfilled desires. It is IMPOSSIBLE for the Divine Order to NOT support your highest and best good; your most dominant dreams and desires.
In the video coaching segment, I ask you to do an exercise to illustrate how doubts – even one doubt can weaken your entire system, while intentional confidence and conscious certainty, can make all the difference to the fulfillment of your desire.
World class athletes know the power of certainty, they understand what happens when doubt and fear are allowed to pervade their thoughts in critical moments. It’s the meaning of the phrase, ‘he choked.’ It’s what happens when we are choking on our own self-conscious thoughts and doubts and allow those fears to cause us to break-down in confidence in the moment and fumble the ball, miss the shot, etc.
One doubt – one fear – can be lethal if it happens at the right time/moment.
An exercise:
- Find/create a photo/collage that represents what you want.
- Look at it and take notes about how it makes you feel (both negatively and positively.)
- Then, intentionally CHOOSE more faith/certainty/confidence.
- If you can’t find faith – then use Emotional Freedom technique to eliminate the doubt.
Be sure to add your comments/feedback below! I have some ideas for additional Certainty vibrational video instructions… I’ll post those over the next few weeks and will attend to your questions, if you post them below. Thank you!
September 6, 2010
How Does the Law of Attraction relate to Blessings in Disguise?
Category: Conscious Evolution,law of attraction,limiting beliefs,LOA doesn't work for me — Anisa @ 8:50 am
How does the law of attraction relate to blessings in disguise?
Q: I found myself wondering what, from your perspective,
prevents you from dealing with negative experience in the
way that your mother did? I am deeply interested to know
the answer for personal reasons I do not know how to put in
words at present. It interests me because you seem to be
suggesting that it is something about ‘different make-up’ or
something, & not a matter of choice – but you also say that
you believe it is a choice your mother made a long, long
time ago. Or do you mean that it is harder for some people
to make that choice? If so, why do you think that is? What
is it that ‘makes the difference’ do you think?
I am not sure if I have misunderstood what you have written,
& would really appreciate your thoughts about this. – Love,
Ama
Answer: All of my life challenges are blessings in disguise.
Let me explain…
I think you’re asking why do some of us have so much more
trouble than others?
And, why do some of us have a more difficult time going
through challenges than others?
(My friend A is referring to last week’s eZine, “I can’t
believe I drowned my honey’s pizza” about my lapse into
previous patterns even though I’ve done all this work. Link
at the bottom of this article.)
I want to clarify my comment, “I wasn’t built that way.” I
was flippant and did not mean to suggest that we are born
with a predestined blueprint. While I do believe in the
possibility of karma as an influential factor, I do not
believe in a karmic debt that controls our lives. The
distinction for me is the difference in our soul’s calling
being controlled by a pre-ordained agenda (karmic debt) vs.
influenced by pre-selected, pre-birth soul path (karmic
influence).
Karmic influence is akin to calling ahead for take-out.
Between worlds, I sat in front of the life-values menu and
circled a few that I believed would equip me best.
I imagine it went something like this…
Soulmate G: “So, ‘nee…” (That’s my nickname) “You gonna go
back or stay around here?”
Anisa: “What? Of course, I’m going back – I’m nowhere near
done! What about you?”
Soulmate G: “Naw… I’m thinking I’ll hang out on this side
and see if I can’t help those zany humans from this plane.”
Anisa: “Wow, that’s cool. Hey! That means you’ll be there
when I need you too! And, I’m sure I’m going to need lots
of help this time. I’ve got some big plans for what I want
to do.”
Soulmate G: “I’ll be here for you – definitely. What plans
you have?”
Anisa: “Well… I don’t know exactly what or how it will play
out – but I really feel this compelling desire to do
something BIG this time. I really want my life to have a
profound impact and make a difference. There’s some crazy,
messed up stuff happening down there right now. I gotta get
in there and see if I can help straighten things out in some
small way. I don’t know if I can but I have to try. It
would be so awesome to see if I can help that planet return
to love. I get this incredible HIGH just thinking about
it!”
Soulmate G: “I knew you were going to say that. Sooooo many
are returning right now with the same mission – big plans to
help the humans make that global shift. And, what with all
the innovations that are going to happen there over the next
50 years… it’s really possible. But, I hate to be the
bearer of bad news…
Anisa: “Ohh… Here comes the but…”
Solmate G: “But, you know you’ll have to go through and see
some terrible things, right? I mean you’re prepared for
that, if that’s what it’s going to take, right?”
Anisa: “Prepared? Ha! I don’t know that I’m prepared – I
mean who’s ever really prepared for pain?!? But, I’m
thinking I’ll put in some intentions to go through “just
enough” to equip me properly. Since I can’t take all my
memories and wisdom consciously into this next life
adventure, I’ll have to experience opportunities to remember
who I really am and regain my wisdom. And, I don’t want to
wait until I’m older to get it together, so that means I’ll
have to have a childhood that gives me the opportunities to
learn.”
Soulmate G: “Indeed. You’ll have to re-learn that you are
unlimited and have a huge capacity for love. You’ll have to
remember that we are connected and that you have unlimited
resources accessible; you’ll have to remember that you are
not alone but that the Divine always has your back. I hope
you get that quickly… I’m gonna miss you if you don’t!”
Anisa: <Ha ha… > “Yeah… I hope I get it quickly too… it’d be
so cool to just pop-out knowing I’m unlimited and just stay
that way no matter what happens.” <We laugh and then I take
a deep breath.> “But, we both know that’s not likely. I
mean I’m not choosing to be the Dalai Lama!” <We laugh>
Soulmate G: “I sort of envy you… you get to taste all that
contrast and all that passion. It’s going to be so
delicious. Okay, so what life-values are you going to
choose?”
Anisa: “I really think I’m going to have to choose the big
ones this time. The planet is really disconnected right
now, so if I’m going to make it count, I’ve got to choose
the highest values I can. I’m thinking I’ll need to master
forgiveness, compassion, and resilience for sure.”
Soulmate G: <cringing grin> “Wow… you’re not choosing the
easy ones are you?!”
Anisa: ” Erghh…. I know… and I can’t lie. I wish it could
be easier this time -but I absolutely don’t want to miss a
growth opportunity just for the sake of easy. Making a
difference is more important to me than having it easy.
I’ll manage whatever life brings me so long as at the end of
the day I’ll be able to fulfill my mission.”
Soulmate G: “What other values do you think you’ll need to
remember?
Anisa: “Well… since I’m sure I’ll have to develop other
skill-sets along the way, I’m going to need patience,
persistence, flexibility and resourcefulness.”
Soulmate G: “Ahhh… persistence. Did you choose that one
last time? I did – and ouch! The only way to learn to be
persistent is to be knocked down. And, knocked down a lot!
I remember I had to force myself back up over and over
again, sometimes it paid off but persistence isn’t an easy
one either.”
Anisa: <Nodding in agreement.> “I guess I don’t have to know
all the values I’m to learn so long as at the end of my life
I’ll be able to look back and say I made a difference. I
made my life count. I can leave this planet knowing I lived
my life to the fullest and fulfilled my mission. I learned
my lessons quickly, put them to good use and left the planet
better off than when I started.”
Soulmate G: “Beautiful. Well, remember to close your eyes
and listen. I’ll always be here for you; guiding you,
loving you, inspiring you, and whispering in your ear. You
are loved and supported. You are on your Divine Right
Path.”
Anisa: “Thanks. I love you too. Okay… I’ve got a train to
catch! See ya! Whoo hooo!”
I’ve thought a great deal too about why my personal growth
journey has included some disturbing traumas and violations.
I have shared some of my life challenges in past articles
and inside my programs to make a point, but feel that my
point today is not that I’ve had these horrible life
experiences and managed to succeed in spite of them, but
that on a deeper, soul-purpose level I understand that this
was a chosen path; a path that was required for me to do the
work I do today.
One example always bubbles to the surface whenever I think
about my life experiences and how they help me make a
difference today. About 10 years ago, I had the honor of
coaching a teenage girl (we’ll call her Callie). Callie had
an extremely challenging childhood, was skipping school,
experimenting with drugs and engaged in very risky behavior.
I was able to relate to some of her experiences and choices
because I had been through a similar time myself. I was
able to reach her in a special way because I understood and
I did not judge.
After working together for about 3 months,
my client’s grandmother showed up on my doorstep with tears
in her eyes. I was so afraid that something had happened.
She threw her arms around me and said, “Thank you. I don’t
know what kind of magic you performed but I have my
granddaughter back. I love you.” Callie is now in her late
twenties and has said to me, “When I say you saved my life -
I mean it. I was seriously thinking of leaving this world.”
If I never make a difference for any other person or cause
in my life, I will still feel like it was worth it. Every
challenge that I experienced growing up equipped me with the
right compassion at the right moment to make a difference to
Callie.
My answer to the question, “Why did you choose more
difficult life experiences?” is because I wanted my life to
make a difference. I want to have a profound impact on this
planet and leave it a better place. And, my pathway to do
this is through coaching, writing, and sharing spiritual
principles. Without my ‘rough patches’ I would have had no
reason to grow and learn this transformational stuff!
I believe we choose on a soul level to experience certain
lessons as a means of preparation. I also understand that
growth never occurs without a reason and change rarely
occurs without pain. (Why would we close the window if it
wasn’t hot or cold? Why would we get up and get a job
unless the pain of not having one inspired us?)
“Nobody’s life is entirely free of pain and sorrow. Isn’t it
a question of learning to live with them rather than trying
to avoid them? The greater part of human pain is
unnecessary. It is self-created as long as the unobserved
mind runs your life. The pain that you create now is always
some form of non-acceptance, some form of unconscious
resistance to what is. On the level of thought, the
resistance is some form of judgment. On the emotional level,
it is some form of negativity. The intensity of the pain
depends on the degree of resistance to the present moment,
and this in turn depends on how strongly you are identified
with your mind.” - Eckhart Tolle, The Power of Now: A Guide
to Spiritual Enlightenment, (New World Library, 1999)
I also want to address quickly the question, “why do you not
choose to deal with negativity as your mother did”? There
are plenty of times when I too deal with negativity with
extreme flow, love, and kindness. And, times when my lesson
of “comprehension” or “compassion” or “sacrifice” or
“selflessness” or whatever value was up for bid that day
required me to fall out of my flow and fight the situation.
It’s all good as we cannot get it wrong and we’ll never get
it done. (Love this Abraham paraphrased quote! )
When spiritual seekers get to that enlightened place of
understanding that “It’s all good, all the time”, weathering
storms simply becomes a matter of flexing and flowing. We
do not stand in judgment with terms such as “that’s good”
and “that’s bad” and “that’s right” and “that’s wrong”.
Instead, we stand in awe as we wander curiously what
adventurous road will unfold next.
“If I had a formula for bypassing trouble, I would not pass
it round. Trouble creates a capacity to handle it. I don’t
embrace trouble; that’s as bad as treating it as an enemy.
But I do say meet it as a friend, for you’ll see a lot of it
and had better be on speaking terms with it.” ~Oliver
Wendell Holmes
For me, it is not about the pain of the traumas now but
about what these wounds have given me in the way of
fortitude and wisdom for fulfilling my bigger purpose.
It’s about seeing that the ever-flowing continuum of life
dictates that each of our challenges, when embraced, are the
experiences that become blessings in disguise when applied
to our life purpose.
I look forward to hearing of your success! (Please post
your questions and comments – I’ll try to answer them in
future morsels.)
To read last week’s article, “Find the linchpin” (also known as I drowned my honey’s pizza.)
July 14, 2010
The Universe Has Your Back – Trust it
Category: Attract Opportunities,conscious creation,Creative Manifesting,law of attraction,limiting beliefs,LOA doesn't work for me — Anisa @ 4:18 pm
Q: Dear Anisa,
I’ve had loads of success with the LOA, right down to
manifesting the kind of weather I want IMMEDIATELY, but
there’s something really close to my heart that I’ve been
‘working on’ for a long time, and I find that I get
stumped/discouraged/overwhelmed sometimes because, well,
this is bigger. I decided that I wanted this particular
thing to be really special and magical, but in order for it
to be truly wonderful, I had to put down all the important
details that would make it so. Here’s the stumper: I get
overwhelmed by having to visualize all those details. I have
about 50, and seeing them all just makes visualizing seem
more like work than fun. I know what I want very clearly
when I put it on paper, but seeing it all in my head is
overwhelming and feels too good to be true. Any suggestions
about how to approach “The List”? Thanks so much for your
time : )
A: Yes! I’m so excited about your question and thank you
for pushing the envelope on your conscious creation
experience!
First, I’m not convinced it’s the number of items on the
list that is the problem, as much as the attachment to
HAVING to HAVE it be EXACTLY as you WANT it. Overwhelm is
one of the vibrations associated with attachment and
resistance to the flow. When we feel negative, in this
case, overwhelm, it’s our inner guide telling us that we
either do not believe we deserve or can have this or we fear
that we are not capable of creating it. By directing your
inner will to release your attachment and surrender to
whatever is Divinely Ordered for right now, you realign with
possibility and faith.
Remember, as long as we are attached, overwhelm will remain,
no matter how short your list becomes. Thus, when you can
visualize without overwhelm (or any negative emotion),
that’s when you know you’ve released the negative energy
that is blocking it from manifesting.
I recommend a nice chat with the Universe/God:
“Big U – I know you have my back and are constantly
conspiring on my behalf. I am grateful for this. And, I am
open to receiving the entire picture – everything I desire
and all that my heart delights over, now. And, I am also
open to receiving whatever I am aligned with in this moment.
I release my attachment to having to have it all right now.
I release my attachment to having it all exactly as I think
it should be. I release my need to prove I am a powerful
creator by having it precisely as I imagine it. Now, I
won’t lie – I believe I’ve created a fantastic vision that
includes all that I desire, so if it manifests this way I
will be exuberant. However, I’m also really okay if it
doesn’t. I know that I receive exactly what’s right and
Divinely Ordered in this moment according to my highest
good. I also know that I have many inner most desires and
that you, Big U, are working to combine all of them into my
most magical fulfillment – only you can do this in such a
way as to give me everything I want, even those things I
cannot fully articulate just yet. I trust the Divine Order
and let it go. For this Truth and my total fulfillment, I
dance in celebration!”
Now, you may be thinking, “…she doesn’t get it. I know
down to the minutest detail what I want and how I want it.
I can’t just let all that go – in order for this to be truly
special I must manifest it exactly this way. Otherwise
what’s the point? I’ll just have to figure this one out by
myself.”
To this all I can say is, “I’ve been there and good
luck.” When you figure out how to manifest something
exactly, please send me postcards from the other side.
Forgive my feistiness today, but I’ve learned the hard way
that we don’t WANT to manifest something exactly. No matter
how much we believe we know about what we want, the Universe
always knows better. The harder we try to make it exactly
the way we want it, the more likely we are to ignore the
riches that do appear; the more likely we are to be
disappointed; the more likely we are to destroy other
aspects of our inner most desires in the process. Besides,
we are not creating in a vacuum – there’s a million other
desires that we’ve launched, a million other emotions that
are still out there marinating and coming forth into
physical form. If we had to identify ALL aspects of every
desire we’ve ever had and line them up perfectly in order to
be happy… eurghhhh! Well, need I say more?!?
Give it up and hand it over to God, first.
Now, once you’ve allowed yourself to truly release your
attachment, THEN you can start visualizing and expanding on
the specifics. For example, you have this big list, right?
Take each item on the list separately and imagine what it
would feel like to experience just that ONE aspect/detail.
What does that ONE detail feel like? How will you know that
detail exists? What is it about that detail that makes it
so glorious? Fantasize and play with each detail as if it
were the ONE thing that you enjoy most in that moment.
Then, add the next detail, and the next, and the next. The
moment you start to feel like “Oopss that last detail was
one too many”, return to your chat with God and back off the
details until you can play again.
The key is to imagine it and live, breathe, and experience
it so fully in your fantasy that you are entirely satisfied
even without it. And, be as specific as you can be without
getting attached to the outcome. The moment you tighten up
and attach, is the moment you turn it back over to the
Divine.
I look forward to hearing of your success!
February 2, 2010
Insidious Limiting Beliefs – How to find them and what to do with them
Category: attract relationship,conscious creation,emotional freedom technique,law of attraction,limiting beliefs,manifest a mate — Anisa @ 3:22 pm
QUICK MANIFESTING MORSELS
With Anisa Aven
Q: “I have a question on breaking down a goal (mine is
getting my soul-mate). How do you know what you should do? I
don’t want to go out in a sense of “panic” like “am I doing
the right thing?” And, then go home perhaps disappointed. Do
you get a “hint” beforehand or what? – C. San Diego
A: It’s important to understand that if you felt confident
and at ease, then you would not have the question ‘am I
doing the right thing?’
Thus, the important issue is what’s causing that question to
come to the surface in the first place?
Do you know what the biggest relationship repellant is?
I bet you can guess, can’t you?
—> Desperation and Disappointment
Let’s face it. We’ve felt the creepiness that exudes from
people that are desperate. There’s a disturbing atmosphere
surrounding them; an unpleasant stench practically transmits
from their very being. We sense it and are mutually
repulsed by it when they are so worried and desperate for
something that they practically pant with anxiousness and
erratic intensity.
What’s the picture you get when you think about the
following?
- Try going to a bank for a mortgage loan when you feel
desperate about avoiding homelessness for you and your
family.
- Try taking the BAR exam, again, when you feel desperate
that you must pass or else face complete humiliation and
failure.
- Try a new diet and exercise routine when you feel fraught
with the memories of past failures and your high school
reunion coming up.
- Try going to a singles event and at first, confident that
you are putting your best self forward only to feel the
ticking of your biological clock reverberating within
reminding you with every passing moment that you are one
minute closer to never having a family.
Now, for most reading this article, you’ll think, “That’s
not me. I don’t reek with desperation. I might feel a
little worried or anxious at times but who doesn’t?!? I’m
not desperate!?”
My challenge to you is to remember that ANYTHING that pushes
your buttons on ANY level, anything that causes you to
adamantly say ‘That’s not me!,’ is the EXACT negative
emotion and belief insidiously sabotaging your dream. The
real question is not ‘am I doing the right thing’ nor ‘how
will I know?’ but what causes this fear? What are the
thoughts, fears, and beliefs underneath this question that
make me fearful that I might have to settle for less or
worse, not achieve my dream at all?
Is it something like the following?
“I’m afraid I must be doing the wrong thing. And, if I’m
doing it wrong then I will never get it right, never find my
soul-mate, or it’ll take too long. If it takes too long
then I will be lonely, sad, and pathetic for most of my life
and this is too much to bear. Maybe, I was just born to be
alone. Maybe, I’m not worthy loving or not deserving of true
love.”
You see, I know the thoughts well, because I’ve had plenty
of limiting and fearful thoughts in my past about everything
from ‘will I ever find my true love’ to ‘how will I ever be
successful’ to … well, you get the idea the list goes on and
on.
First, you want to FACE the fearful, negative thoughts. Dig
them up and look them square in the eye! What is the worst
thing this says about me, if this ‘fear’ were to come true?
Usually, in addition to the ‘fear of being alone’, ‘fear of
having to settle’, ‘fear of never finding someone to love as
much as you loved your previous lover,’ etc. Underneath
these surface fears, will be more destructive thoughts and
beliefs.
I’d like to share with you two types of beliefs to look out
for.
First, look for your core beliefs. Core beliefs are usually
overarching thoughts that are about ‘you as a person’. They
will be the limiting beliefs that come up repeatedly
throughout your life such as:
- I’m not good enough.
- I’m not smart enough.
- I’m not worthy.
- I do not deserve.
- I’m too stupid, selfish, ugly, fat, etc.
- They were right, I’ll never amount to anything.
- I can’t do it. There’s something wrong with me.
- I was born deficient.
- I am unlovable (and so many nasty untruths!)
These are the decisions we made long ago when a parent,
teacher, or authority figure said (or didn’t say), did (or
didn’t do) what we needed in that moment to feel lovable,
worthy, valuable, and deserving.
Guess what? It’s time to get over it and stop allowing
those nasty moments in our past predict our future
happiness. Now, let’s talk briefly about the second type of
limiting belief. This one is far more sinister, disguising
itself as our protector. This second type of limiting
belief is known as the portentous secondary gain.
Secondary gains are elusive; they are tricky, sly, and
difficult to trap unless you really know where to look.
These are the beliefs that we’ve developed as a means of
protecting ourselves from change, disappointment, pain,
hurt, judgment, responsibility, etc.
Examples of secondary gains:
- I want to lose weight but then I’ll just have to buy new
clothes. And, since I don’t {fill-in-the-blanks- have the
money – like shopping – want to waste my old wardrobe, etc.]
thus, it’s better to stay overweight than to risk not having
any clothes.
- I want a relationship but then I may have to quit my job
because [fill-in-the-blanks- women don’t like my job, men
don’t want their women traveling, making more money than
they do, etc.} thus, it’s better to stay single than have to
lose my job.
- I want a relationship but what if I {fill-in-the-blanks -
get my heart broken again, am cheated on, end up ruining it
and hating myself, etc.}
- I want to be wealthy but then I may have to {fill-in-the-
blanks: pay my family to stay out of my business, learn
about finance, stocks, bonds, and all that ‘rich-folk’
stuff, deal with people only being my friend because they
want my money, suffer the judgment of my loved ones because
I’m wealthy and they aren’t, etc., etc.} Thus, it’s better
to stay put, than to risk it.
- I want a new, better job but {fill-in-the-blanks -then
I’ll have to learn something new, I’m too old/tired to
change, will have to work hard again and I need a break,
etc.}
- I want to let go of my anger but {fill-in-the-blanks – I’m
afraid that there’s far more difficult emotions like sorrow,
shame, or guilt waiting to overtake me if I let go of my
anger, etc.}
- I want to forgive but {fill-in-the-blanks – if I forgive
then it will happen again, it will let them off too easy,
I’ll be a fool, I might let them back into my life again,
etc.}
Look carefully at ANYTHING that you’ve wanted for a long
time that continues to elude you. Look carefully at the
benefits to staying put. I usually ask myself a few
questions about the benefits of staying put, to uncover my
secondary gains.
For example, if you want a relationship you might ask
yourself:
- What are the benefits to not having my soul-mate, right
now?
- How does being alone, keep my safe from harm?
- What would be the worst thing that could happen if I had a
relationship? Is this something I’m worried about?
- What would I have to give up in order to attend to my
soul-mate?
- What’s the price I’d have to pay in order to make room for
a relationship? Am I afraid that price might not be worth
it?
Dig deep and you’ll find those secondary gains. You are
sure to find that there are secondary gains preventing your
success all the while pretending to protect you from the
pain of failure, the heartache of loss, or the torture of
disappointment.
Now, once you have your inventory of limiting beliefs – EFT
the heck out of them (use Emotional Freedom Technique to
eliminate each limiting belief)! That’s the fastest and
most consistent way I’ve used to get rid of the ridiculous
rationalizations we have for sabotaging ourselves.
Desperation and disappointment are terribly repellant of
your goal; any goal, for that matter. Therefore, dig a
little deeper than the initial ideas around what makes you
feel anxious or worried. Discover the REAL reasons you feel
desperate or disappointed, and apply Emotional Freedom
Technique until you feel complete relief.
Once you’ve done this work, the original question, “How
will I know that I’m doing it right?” will simply be
obsolete. In fact, that question will seem entirely
irrelevant as you instead start asking questions like, “How
do I want to show up today that will give me the greatest
joy?” And, “I wonder what adventure spirit has in store for
me today? I can’t wait!”
This will work – but you do have to do the ‘work’!
Thank you for the honor of supporting you!
Love and light, Anisa Aven
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