We were born with the unlimited potential to intentionally create (use the law of attraction) to manifest all of our heart's desires. Together, as Conscious Leaders guided by the Divine, we have the Mind Power necessary to co-create a sustainable, harmonious, peaceful, and prosperous world. And, we can do this while also attracting and creating a passionate, loving, rich, healthy life with all of our personal dreams fulfilled.
October 31, 2012
Q: Hi Anisa,
This is difficult to share. But, here goes, because I need help and really want to change. I hate confrontation. I’ve figured out (through a lot of tough self-reflection), I either withdraw or don’t speak to those who upset me – thereby punishing them by pushing them away passive-agressively. Or, I end up pushing them away with my anger. For example, I explode in a mean rage attacking their character with harsh words like “Are you really that stupid?” I’ve been like this for as long as I can remember and I realize that to some extend it’s served me. I’m viewed as a tough, independent and self-reliant woman. And, I also have my good traits and have many friends and family members that really love me. However, I’ve come to realize that my anger and volatility along with the way I allow people to ‘get under my skin’ has created illness and isolation. I don’t want to push people away. I don’t want to hurt the ones I love. And, I don’t want to be sick! I don’t want to be this angry. But, HOW do I get rid of something that’s been with me for so long? I can see myself about to withdraw or explode but even as I’m aware of my desire to change, I can’t stop the train-wreck from happening. It’s a default response that seems to have more power over me than my own mind has to make a better choice!
What do I do to change this? (Yours truly, anonymous.)
A: Accept your unlimitedness and you automatically become a vibrational match to your desire.
Ideally, you could just jump to accepting your Divinity and that would be that! You could just say, “I accept the truth that I am a Divine Child of God. So Be it!” And, it would be SO for you and all your dreams and the changes you desire, would materialize.
When we really accept our Divinity – that we are Divine Children of an all-providing, all-protecting, ever-flowing life-force of unlimited design and potential, then there’s nothing to ever fear, doubt, resent or defend. Our unlimited nature never sees other’s mistakes as mistakes but as Divine fellow humans doing their very best worthy of love and compassion simply because they are human. Our unlimited nature never needs to isolate or withdraw because there’s nothing to fear and nothing we need to protect. Our unlimited nature is all-loving both inwardly and outwardly. As we accept this Truth we become ONE with the essence of all that is GRACE and all that is LOVE.
Sounds simple enough?!?!
Not so much, for most of us. If you’ve been living your life in negative self- talk and free-wheeling emotional swings of anger, fear, doubt, and shame then that jump to “I accept my oneness with the Divine” is more like a Grand Canyon leap!
If you know that you should believe in your inherent Divinity but can’t quite get there, then stop trying to jump across the Grand Canyon and instead walk up the vibrational scale (from neg-attractive emotions to pos-attractive emotions) using your words, your voice and the power of your mind.
How do you walk yourself up the scale? Here’s an example, which I respectfully share anonymously, using a situation that a fellow law of attraction student experienced.
Our work as students of the law of attraction is to re-focus our energy and emotions so that the vibrations of positive trust, confidence, love, and peace are attracting what we want. Using the above example, here’s an illustration of how to intentionally climb the scale.
(Use Dr. David Hawkin’s Map of Consciousness as a guide and assume you have ALL of the lower level emotions and walk yourself up to the higher emotions.)
According to the map, at the bottom of the consciousness rung is Shame (20), then Guilt (30), then Apathy (50), then Grief (75), then Fear (100), then Desire (125), then Anger (150)and finally Pride (175).
Courage (200) is the first ascending emotion, followed by neutrality (250), then willingness (310), acceptance (350), reason (400), love (500), joy (540), peace (600) and then enlightenment (7001000).
Before we can get to our destination, we need to know where we are on the map.
First, figure out where you are by asking:
Using our example, the essence might be summed up in the underlying thoughts, “I will not be able to support my children. I will not be able to feed them and take care of them.” This energy of desperation is terribly creative and is going forth to create the very opposite of what she really wants, and she knows it. Thus, the even more desperate feeling that she MUST stop the meltdown!
Choose the lowest or most negatively-attractive emotion and corresponding thoughts first, in this case, starting with apathy, simply acknowledge the thoughts and feelings by speaking them aloud (while tapping)
Then, take the route to the next more positive ’emotional city’ on the map. For example, if you start with “I feel helpless and hopeless. I can’t even get myself out of bed because there’s nothing more I can do.” Using emotional freedom technique tap those very words. Do an entire round on “helpless, hopeless, apathetic” and “I still choose to love and accept myself.”
++++EFT Example Round:
If you are unfamiliar with EFT, please see my tutorial here. It explains why we focus on the negative in an effort to call a spade a spade then release it as required.
TAP through ALL the negative emotions – Apathy, then Grief, Sadness, Fear, Desire, Anger, then Pride and never stop before you have arrived at courage. Ideally, continue until you reach bliss, but never stop until you’ve at least hit courage.
Next, tap in the positive!
Now, let me give you an example of how you would do this work with ongoing anger and resentment that’s creating illness. Note: My example will start with shame, but you must proceed through courage on the vibrational scale. Do not stop until you are at least feeling courageous enough to trust the process and trust that you have the capacity within to make the change.
+++EFT example round:
Tapping on shame:
Tapping in the Positive:
I believe that we (including myself) receive some self- righteous or protective emotional pay-off for jeopardizing our happiness with habitual negative thoughts. Whether it’s a need to be right, a desire to avoid the pain of change, a desire for attention or any other counter-productive, fear-based desire (also known as a secondary gain), we must be willing to release the emotional pay-off in order to get to the peaceful, prosperous, and loving destination that we truly desire. (Emotional Freedom Technique works wonders on these self-sabotaging needs.)
By using this technique regularly, you’ll find that overall your life is simply happier, easier, more prosperous and peaceful. From this place of positive vibes, you are certain to attract more of the things you really want.
Create a Great day!
P.S. Here’s a fre*e EFT Worksheet too – EFT Worksheet:(Click here and then scroll to bottom for link)
I look forward to hearing of your success! Please share your comments with me below.
July 29, 2012
“Is there a timeline or how long does chemicalization take?”
A: The timeline is…. (wait for it….) As Long As It Takes.
Rats! I know that’s not what you want to hear. I don’t like it either. However, if we focus on the future becoming what we intend it to be, it’s easier to batten down the hatches, and weather the storm. Beautiful creations require time. A piece of coal takes massive friction to become a diamond. An Oak tree may put out as many as 10,000 acorns before one offspring becomes a seedling, becomes a tree.
I do have good news though! Although the process of change will remain the same throughout eternity, our ability to adapt to change has infinite possibilities.
Did you know that the lifecycle of a tadpole is different depending upon its environment AND evolutionary pressures? A tadpole in an arid environment has to evolve quickly in order to thrive before those tiny pools dry up. On the other hand, a tadpole surrounded by lots of water leisurely moves through the stages of growth. Same species, close cousins, and yet one has to evolve in as little as 29 days whereas the other has up to 15 months to become its ultimate evolution – the frog.
“That’s nice, Anisa. Thank you for the elementary science lesson… but I need to know how long will chemicalization and all the craziness that comes with it, last for me?!”
Well think about it! If a tadpole has the intelligence to intentionally evolve in order to grow, live, and prosper – then surely we do too! We too are capable of intentional evolution!
We have the capacity to surrender to the process by intentionally TRUSTING in its inherent Divinity and thereby shorten the life-cycle of the chaotic elements. Our negative reaction to the chaos actually extends and even animates its lifecycle.
If you were to line up all of the most successful people in the world and of all time, you’d discover there are a few things they ALL have in common:
The ability to turn chemicalization into merely short moment of reconstructive, organized chaos depends upon your ability to CHOOSE a more positive perspective.
Here are some key affirmative statements to practice:
Here also is a round of EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) that will really help with the emotional aspect of dealing with chemicalization:
EFT to Surrender to Chemicalization & Thereby Speed it up!
Set up your intention with the Divine:
I ask the Universal Life Force, God to support, uplift and empower me. I ask that the intentions I hold are of the highest and best for not only myself but for all those involved. If I am focused upon lower-level intentions, such as fear, I seek gentle realignment. If my vision is anything less than pure-spirit and pure-love, I ask for support in exalting my sight to the highest and best that spiritual Truth contains.
Sore Spot / Karate Chop Point:
Anchor Truth – Hold your Wrist:
Repeat the KC/SS phrases:
Anchor Truth – Hold your Wrist:
Now, let’s implant some POSITIVE commands:
YOU CAN CHOOSE TO GROW… even when it’s all messy! Growth means using adversity as an opportunity to assume your life is getting better and that the outcome of chaos is peace, love, order, prosperity, and joy.
And, when you just can’t ‘assume’ it. Then do your emotional work to allow you to atleast trust in the process of Divine Order. EFT, Meditation, Intentional Journaling – all help.
I hold the vision of a MUCH smoother trip through the land of chemicaliztion next time!
August 19, 2011
Dear Anisa – (Re: It only takes 17 seconds of pure-belief to launch a creation) So, does this include writing with a pure thought for 17 seconds then? Also can you give me tips on how to actually visualize for 17 seconds straight and actually staying focused? And, how do we know we are actually visualizing? I do get a mental image but it’s like it’s pushed to the back of my mind, and not clear like seeing through my eyes, if that makes sense? – Peppa
OH YES… Writing is a fantastic way to get to 17 seconds of pure-belief! I suggest setting a timer (I usually set my timer for 10 minutes) and speed-write – allow yourself to flow positive, intentional, grateful thoughts towards what you want and intend to create.
If something negative comes out, notice it and finish the sentence but then scratch it out and redo that thought, until you get it just right.
Regarding the second part of your question: (staying focused, am I really doing it right.)
Instead of ‘visualization’, perhaps ‘forecasting’ is a better description.
First, let’s look at your primary learning and living modality. Are you Visual, Auditory or Kinesthetic mostly?
Some of us are simply not visual and instead we hear and/or feel the future as opposed to ‘seeing’ it. This is absolutely the perfect way for you. The goal is to forecast your future the same way you might choose your evening’s activities.
For example, how do you determine what to cook for dinner? Do you see the dinner you are about to create before you reach for the ingredients? Or do you have an inner-dialogue that directs you accordingly? Or perhaps you do not see/hear or talk to yourself but you have an ‘impression’ that you follow, a feeling that guides you to organize your cooking expedition?
While everyone uses all learning styles (visual / auditory/ kinesthetic /olfactory-gustatory) to some degree, one is usually more dominant than another.
If you see the dinner, then visualization may be the right word for you.
If you have an internal dialogue, then it’s possible that talking and dialoguing your way through it is more akin to your learning style and thus will enable you to feel more confident when forecasting your intentions.
Now, let’s look at the last part of your question, possibly the most important aspect that you may not even be aware can be changed. You wrote: “I do get a mental image but it’s like it’s pushed to the back of my mind, and not clear like seeing through my eyes, if that makes sense?”
Yes, it makes perfect sense. Where we store our images including our past and future memories can be very telling about whether or not we are actively engaging in pure-belief or not. For example, you shared with us that your mind stores the ‘image’ of the future you want ‘pushed to the back of your mind’ and by reading through the lines, I guesstimate that you recognize this is not quite right; you sense that because it’s pushed to the back of your mind there’s something amiss about the visualization. Thus the question, “How do I know I’m actually visualizing correctly?”
>>>> I’m so excited to share this with you… I’m actually dancing in my chair!!! >>>>
Okay… here’s what you want to do. In the official vernacular, you want to do an NLP (Neuro-Linguistics Programming) process known as adjusting the sub-modalities. In layman’s terms, you want to pack-up and move where you store your ‘desired goals’ to be in the same warehouse as your ‘completed items’.
Let me explain WHY… No, let me illustrate…
Think of something in your life that brings you joy and pleasure and that you are 100% certain exists.
Now, where is that thought located? Is it inside or outside your body? (No, don’t think too much about it, just answer.) Is it in color or black and white? Is it close up or in the distance, straight ahead, behind you or to the left/right? What is its shape and size? If any of the following is applicable – describe its texture, temperature, tone, dialogue, melody, sensation, contrast. Is it bright or dim, clear or muffled? Does it have a smell or a taste? What? Is it moving or still, 3D or flat? Allow yourself to really ponder these questions. When you are satisfied, write it down – “My certain manifestation is…”
Now… tell me what did you have for breakfast? Is that your usual morning breakfast? What would be an unusual breakfast for you? (Don’t skip this… there’s a method to my madness.)
Okay, now that we’ve discussed your breakfast we can move on.
Think of a goal that you hope to manifest. Choose something that you want but lack real confidence about achieving.
Now, where is that thought located? Is it inside or outside your body? (No, don’t think too much about it, just answer.) Is it in color or black and white? Is it close up or in the distance, straight ahead, behind you or to the left/right? What is its shape and size? If any of the following is applicable – describe its texture, temperature, tone, dialogue, melody, sensation, contrast. Is it bright or dim, clear or muffled? Does it have a smell or a taste? What? Is it moving or still, 3D or flat? Allow yourself to really ponder these questions. When you are satisfied, write it down – “My uncertain manifestation is…”
Compare where you stored your CERTAIN experience with where you store your UNCERTAIN experience. You will inevitably discover that there are differences. Perhaps they are vastly different or perhaps there is only a few subtle differences. For the purpose of clarify, you may journal about the differences.
Next, imagine that your “uncertain goal” is morphing into the same location, look, feel, sound, texture, shape, size, etc. as your “certain manifestation.” Take your time and trust your imagination – encourage yourself to intentionally move it.
If it gets ‘murky’ – write it down; itemizing each descriptive element and one by one applying the CERTAIN descriptives to the UNCERTAIN goal.
Make note of how that feels? Does it feel odd or scary? Or, does it feel more certain and exciting?
If you feel weird and like – “OH no, what if this really happens now?!?!” It may be time to reconsider what you say you really want and the price you are willing (or not willing) to pay to have it.
If you feel more certain, hopeful, and like – “that visualization rocked”, then relax and begin to prepare to receive what you’ve just ordered.
Try this exercise – try it on something you REALLY, REALLY want and something that you would be happy to have, but content without. See what happens!
Let me know how you use this in your life! I know you’ll love it.
Lots of love and light, Anisa
To learn more about NLP, join us for the Inner Power, Outer Impact Telesummit.
June 8, 2011
Quick Manifesting Morsel – Vibrational Video Coaching with Anisa Aven
Pre-Celebrate it -to Create it!
The Law of Attraction – Simple is Better!
“Nothing in the Kingdom of Heaven is lost!” my son, Parker, repeated over and over as he walked around the house looking for the lost remote for the flip-flopping, mini-r/c car that Santa left under the tree. A few moments later I hear, “YES!” and I know exactly what just happened, or I think I do. Without looking up from my book, I say, “good… you found it.” He says, “not yet… but I will… YES! COOL! YES!”
This time I look up to see if he’s doing what I think he’s doing. Sure enough… he’s celebrating! Even though he’s NOT yet found the remote, he’s celebrating as if he is already playing with it.
I revel in my own delight watching such a brilliant display of conscious creation. “Wow! He’s intentionally applying the Law of Attraction!” Feeling as proud as any LOA-Loving-Mommie ever, I congratulate myself for talking about the Law of Attraction to my children. And, now realizing he was actually listening?!? Oh, so delicious!
I remember thinking, “Why can’t I do that? After all, it’s just that easy.”
Most of the time, we tend to over-look the simple as not worthy of our attention; opting instead for the more complicated instructions and beliefs that only hard work and paying our dues will result in success.
However, this is often contradictory to what we experience every day – that simple is better: brushing our teeth prevents cavities, smiling feels better than frowning, and eating fresh vegetables right out of the fridge, for example are not only simpler, but better for us! Likewise, applying the Law of Attraction does not have to be complicated. In fact, it’s very simple.
There’s a principle called Occam’s razor (named after mediaeval philosopher and scientist, William of Occam), who put forth the theory that “the best solution to a problem is often and almost always the simplest solution.” Though the principle may seem rather trivial, it is essential for model building. In other words, nature wants life to be simple. With this in mind, it isn’t necessary to do everything the ‘hard way’ or the most complicated way. In fact, not only is it not necessary but it’s inefficient as well.
For example, when we utilize the Law of Attraction to make each day a little easier and more fulfilling, we simplify our lives. By leveraging the power of the Universal Principles to create the small things, we can build our LOA muscles. Eventually, when our conscious creation muscle becomes strong enough, we’ll be able to attract the big wins too. Here’s what we know – there has never been a million dollars created, a soul-mate found, a dream job landed or a rock-hard body experienced that didn’t have it’s conception, gestation, and creation as a result of the Law of Attraction, regardless of the person’s awareness of the law.
Thus, if you can master the law of attraction with the everyday ‘things’ then the championship manifestations will be easier as well. You wouldn’t pick up your first golf club today and next week show up at the Pro-golf tournament expecting a position next to Tiger on the tour. Likewise, the odds are not likely in your favor that you will manifest the lottery just because you’ve learned that “what you think about, you bring about.”
Mastering the art of attraction, like any skill, requires practice. And, just like a golfer that spends hours at the golf range practicing his swing, the more you practice your ‘swing’ the better you’ll get at the game of attraction. So what’s your swing? It’s using your thoughts and emotions to intentionally vibrate in harmony with an end result that you desire. Using our golf analogy, a golfer swings the club to hit the ball. A Law of Attraction practitioner intentionally vibrates (uses thoughts and emotions) to attract a desire.
For example, one way to practice your LOA swing is to pre-celebrate the ‘little wins.’ The act of pre-celebrating produces a vibration that is energetically and magnetically attractive to victory, passion, excitement, enthusiasm and other fabulous experiences. Thus, intentionally celebrating a goal prior to experiencing it is an act of intentional vibration.
Yes! I celebrate with delight, as I enjoy an awesome day at work. I thoroughly enjoyed my co-workers today and had very productive and uplifting meetings. I have a great sense of accomplishment from my day today!
Yes! I celebrate the healthiest check-up my doctor has ever given me… “You’re in great shape! You’re as fit as a teenager.”
Yes! I frolic with joy, and celebrate the smooth flow of cars as I travel to and from my job. I am grateful for the comfortable drive and opportunity to be at peace and in silence with myself and with life.
Yes! I rise joyously and in awe of an incredibly recuperative night’s sleep. I slept better than a baby… I slept like I was on a cloud in heaven. I celebrate feeling energetic and alive!
Now, if that doesn’t sound exciting enough to practice your swing on, remember this is practice and you want to get in a lot of it!
Here’s another idea – how about pre-celebrating unexpected things that you can be indifferent to? Things that you don’t necessarily care a great deal about, but when they appear you’ll most assuredly know it was because YOU celebrated them and thereby intentionally attracted them into your experience.
This is an exercise that Abraham of Jerry and Esther Hicks fame, teaches. My first practice swing was to pre-celebrate hummingbirds! I imagined their tiny little bodies hovering around me. I delighted in the idea of having them come into my garden. I imagined elegant hummingbirds all around me.
As you can probably imagine, within days I started noticing ‘signs’ of hummingbirds. For example, at home depot I went to grab a garden hose and a humming-bird feeder fell on the floor. Then, a girlfriend sent me a sweet thank you note on what else, but humming-bird stationery, a magazine that I subscribe to (not bird watcher’s gazette) was delivered with a featured article inside titled “hummingbird friendly gardens”. I also remember overhearing a conversation while I was out about how a hummingbird flew in this woman’s face and just hovered there for a few seconds outside the store.
After seeing and hearing so much about hummingbirds, I began to wonder where the REAL hummingbirds were. I actually felt inadequate like maybe I wasn’t good enough to attract the real thing! So, I decided to really practice my swing this time by celebrating them. I celebrated hummingbirds for a few more minutes and this time allowed myself to really feel excited and passionate about them. I even jumped up and down this time and I celebrated the wonder of such an incredibly talented, beautiful, masterpiece as the hummingbird. The seemingly fragile but in reality fierce and territorial hummingbird; the gift from God that scientists study to discover and inquire into how we too can reveal the art of hovering the way the hummingbird does. YES! I love hummingbirds, God’s beautiful creatures. I celebrate the wonder of hummingbirds! Yes… hummingbirds! Hummingbirds! Hummingbirds! Beautiful hummingbirds!
I bet you can guess what happened the very next day! Hummingbirds! Hummingbirds! Glorious hummingbirds!
So… let’s make it easy:
3 easy steps to Intentionally Harness the Law of Attraction and The Law of Detachment
1. Identify what you want and Pre-Celebrate it now
Remember to assume the best, no matter what occurs because the Universe has your back and all is well all the time. (You have to choose this mindset and at some point your manifestations will catch up to it.) Then, when you notice it’s not quite what you wanted, simply “Course Correct” by pre-celebrating the next edition until you get it more right.
Remember, simple is better and all you really have to do is CELEBRATE and watch what happens!
To wrap up the story… The doorbell rings. Parker says, “Who is it?” And I hear my mom say, “It’s your Mimi!” The door opens and Parker and Ashlyn run to give Mimi a hug. I kiss mom hello, fix some tea, and we settle into the couch to visit. I realize there’s a small lump in the cushion. I put my tea on the side table, stand and lift the cushion to find the remote to Parker’s remote-control car. Of course, he celebrated some more. We watch his performance as he makes that little R/C spin, flip-flop and celebrate its own existence!
Copyright, 2011 CreataVision Enterprises, Anisa Aven.
Receive Anisa’s FREE Conscious Creation 101: a 5-part e-course on the basics of Manifesting by visiting http://www.creatavision.com/creative-manifesting.htm
March 1, 2011
Quick Manifesting Morsel with Anisa Aven
Lessons in the Law of Detachment: Video 6 of 10 Choice is Better Than No Choice
This means that the Essence of detachment is Equanimity (a state of being centered, faithful, aligned and serene, no matter what you see or experience.) In Lessons in Detachment, we will explore exactly what it means to intentionally detach from the outcome and HOW exactly to do it. Be sure to explore all of the detachment videos and you will have a greater understanding of how to finally Let Go, and Let God, create miracles in your life.
Everything you desire is aligned with peace. If you want
to create more love in your life, then obtain greater peace in your heart. If you want to create more prosperity, then obtain greater peace in your heart. Being detached from the
Now, let’s explore the subject of this lesson on detachment:Choice is better than no choice. (Also an NLP presupposition – a belief that when applied creates a solid foundation upon which to be more intentional and influential in every situation.) Think about this for a moment:“Choice is Better than No Choice.” Now, how do we apply this in our lives to be more allowing; to practice the law of detachment and become more effective conscious creators?
This idea goes hand in hand with the lesson in video 5: The Law of Requisite Variety – translated as the person with the greatest flexibility has the greatest influence.
This idea, that choice is better than no choice helps us to be more flexible in the moment. We get to choose how we respond to each situation; thus taking ownership of our experience.
One of the key tenants that helped me to live a more intentional life, I learned from Jack Canfield in about 1992. He shared with me his equation: E+R= O (the Event plus our Response equals the Outcome. Event + My Response = The Outcome) It is not the event alone that determines the outcome of a situation but the event plus our response to
For example, there will be times when you feel you are backed into a corner with no way out. We may feel that you have NO choice. But, you ALWAYS, without exception have choices. It’s a matter of choosing which option is right for you. Even when you are unable to physically choose something different, you still have the choice of your emotions. In fact you have many choices.
Choice is better than no choice – teaches us to be mindful of the truth that we always have options. There’s fight, flight, freeze, and flow, for example.
We can fight! We can strike like a defensive snake! And, sometimes that feels like the best choice.
We can flee or take flight. Or, we can freeze, until we figure out how to respond.
Heck – sometimes it’s even better to play dead as a choice!
“Ueghhh…. I’m just going to roll-over and play dead for a minute.”
Or we can also learn to choose to FLOW! We can choose to go with the flow and practice the art of the aikido way. This is a skill that we can develop as we begin to fully embrace
the truth that choice is better than no choice. And, the choice of flow is the most aligned with the law of detachment and the art of allowing.
Let me explain. Morihei Ueshiba, the famous martial artist and founder of Aikido, believed that it was important to extend love and compassion to all, and especially to those who seek to harm others. Aikido is often translated as “the way of unifying with life energy” or as “the way of harmonious spirit.”
Ueshiba’s goal was to create a martial art that practitioners could use to defend themselves while also protecting their attacker from injury. Out of this philosophy and spiritual path, was born Aikido, a martial art that teaches the student to receive an attack while harmlessly redirecting it. In an ideal resolution, not only is the receiver unharmed, but so is the attacker.
When considering your choices, the highest most aligned choice, will align with no harm across all channels. Thus, flow and the aikido way is one option that uses the energy of the situation for a more enlightened and harmonious outcome. By adopting the idea that choice is better than no choice and combining it with the person with the greatest
flexibility has the greatest influence, you will find yourself living more in the flow of life more often and thus detached and allowing.
I’d like to give you some examples of how to employ Choice is Better than No choice.
You’ve heard of Murphy’s law?
Everything than can go wrong, will go wrong – that’s the summation of Murphy’s law.
When we remember that it is our response to the event that creates the outcome and we always have a choice as to how we respond, then we turn Murphy’s law upside down. For
example, a more harmonious choice would be, “Even if it goes wrong, I choose to see it as perfectly imperfect.”
Another example of a limiting belief (Murphy’s Law) turned upside down, is “Nothing is ever as simple as it first seems.” A choice that is more aligned with the law of detachment would be,“Even if nothing is as simple as it seems, I choose to be comfortable with complexity.”
Here’s one more. The limiting belief that “every activity takes more time than you have” becomes, “even if it takes more time than I have, I choose to eventually have enough time.”
It’s very important that I make the point that Choice is Better than No Choice means having more freedom, flexibility and personal responsibility for your life. All of which are essential for leveraging the power of detachment. I heard a story once that has stayed with me and helped me to understand that even in the most difficult of situations, I
have the power to choose how I respond.
You see, we get to choose how we respond to even the most difficult situations. And, choice means greater freedom and flexibility; both of which produce greater solutions and enact the law of allowing. How do you practice this?
Thank you for the honor of supporting you! And, thank you for leaving feedback on the YouTube video.
To join other like-minded creators and co-create your best year ever, visit WWW.PCC.CreataVision.com for information on my Power Creators Club or visit www.AnisaAven.com and be sure to subscribe to my conscious creation 101 ecourse – a 5 part ecourse on the basics of manifesting.
Want to go deeper into the Law of Detachment?
Watch the other videos in this series: Lessons in Detachment (also using NLP pre-suppositions to master the law of detachment.)
If you like my videos, please share them (and get a big kiss from me, from afar!)
Practice detachment by remembering you always have a choice as to how you respond #NLP #LOA http://bit.ly/fAUxsj
Practice the Law of Allowing by remembering we always have a choice as to how we respond from Anisa Aven’s lessons on Detachment videos: http://bit.ly/fAUxsj
Have a comment/question, I appreciate you visiting my YouTube site and adding your ideas there! Thank you!
Copyright, 2011 CreataVision Enterprises, Anisa Aven.
Written & copyrighted by Anisa Aven. Receive Anisa’s FREE Conscious Creation 101: a 5-part e-course on the basics of Manifesting by visiting http://www.creatavision.com/creative-manifesting.htm.
February 22, 2011
Lessons in Detachment: Video 5 of 10: The Law of Requisite Variety (The Most Flexible Has the Most Influence)
Lessons in Detachment: Video 5 of 10 The Law of Requisite Variety: The Person with the Most Flexibility Has the Most Influence
Hello! This is Anisa Aven and this is vibrational video coaching #5 of 10 in my series: Lessons in Detachment.
The Law of Detachment says “You must relinquish your attachment to your desire, to have it manifest.”
To become a master conscious creator, you must employ the Law of Attraction & the Law of Detachment together. Detachment is the art of allowing whatever is, to be perfect in and of itself.
This brings us to the subject of this video The Law of Requisite Variety: The Person with the Greatest Flexibility Has the Greatest Influence (An NLP – Neurolinguistics Programming – key presupposition – this is a BELIEF that when implemented will provide you a stable, detached & very resourceful foundation.)
Let’s read that again – The Person with the Greatest Flexibility Has the Greatest Influence
Like many of the lessons in this series, understanding this idea will make a significant difference in your ability to leverage the law of detachment. Here’s what I want you to know. Our primary role in every relationship and every situation is to become the most flexible element within the system. If the most flexible element, controls and influences the outcome then by focusing on being flexible you are actually focusing on solutions and thus practicing the law of allowing.
We will face times when we are met with unexpected and unappreciated changes. And, if we choose to be inflexible – we will crack just like this egg as the vice-grip of life presses upon us.
It is IN relationship to others and IN relationship to life that we often become inflexible and inflexibility equals resistance, which equals attachment. When we are attached to the outcome or attached to how we think things should be, we halt our greater good and our Divine Flow. Often, our inflexibility is an unconscious attempt at protecting ourselves (like the hard shell of an egg). We believe that we must stand strong and be uncompromising in order to be safe. However, we are soft on the inside and our hard shell is weak and provides little protection.
Virginia Satir, probably the most celebrated, and effective family therapist ever studied said flexibility is crucial in relationships as it influences how a person feels in a family, she wrote, “Feelings of worth can flourish only in an atmosphere where individual differences are appreciated, mistakes are tolerated, communication is open, and rules are flexible – the kind of atmosphere that is found in a nurturing family”
Being flexible is a strong and powerful response to life’s changes. Lao Tzu (founder of Taoism) said, “Nothing is softer or more flexible than water, yet nothing can resist it.” By choosing to be as flexible and flowing as water, you become the most influential element in the system – whether that system is your relationship, your family, your work, or any other aspect of your life.
Many of us have a habit of resisting change and refusing to release our firm grip on life; not realizing that this prevents our dreams from coming true. Resistance and inflexibility do not help us manifest!!! In fact, it is just the opposite that is true. It is better to bend than to break.
I am not saying you should compromise on your values or your principles in order to ‘get along’ or ‘make nice.’ “Niceness” is over-rated if you ask me. However, kindness and a commitment to being flexible in your approach produces greater strength and greater access to resourcefulness.
When you find yourself being inflexible, remember how the natives in North Africa capture Monkeys! It’s very easy. They simply fill a gourd with a monkey’s favorite treats ( nuts or fruits) then when the monkey puts its tiny hand through the hole to grab the nuts, the monkey clenches his fist around the treat but now he cannot pull his hand back out. The hole is too small for the monkey to withdraw with a clenched fist; but being too stubborn to let go of the nuts, he will work all night pulling and pulling without success. Then, he is easily captured at the break of dawn, because he was too stubborn and inflexible to know when to relax and let it go.
Watch for inflexibility traps, such as “But this is how we’ve always done it.” Instead learn how to ask questions about the ‘tradition’ and learn how to willingly change plans when unexpected conditions require an adaptive response. Beware of getting discouraged when plans change. When you realize you are resisting change, choose to be the one that bends, refuse to allow anxiety to rule you. Instead look for the inner strength to respond gracefully and with ease and flexibility.
How do I learn to be more flexible?
Instead of being stubborn, upset with change, impatient and closed-minded, CHOOSE to be flexible and adaptable; choose to allow change, to be patient and to be open-minded.
How to Practice Flexibility:
“Blessed are the hearts that can bend; they shall never be broken.” – Albert Camus (French Novelist, 1957 Nobel Peace Prize for Literature.)
February 15, 2011
Lessons in Detachment: Video 4 of 10, People Do the Best They Can, With the Resources They Have
Hello! This is Anisa Aven and this is vibrational video coaching #4 of 10 in my series – Lessons in Detachment. The Law of Detachment says You must relinquish your attachment to your desire, to have it manifest. The essence is that state of equanimity – Equanimity is defined as being calm and centered internally no matter what’s happening externally. Detachment therefore is aligned with being Centered – Faithful – and Serene – no matter what you see or experience before you.
The law of detachment can be challenging. That’s why we are studying and practicing the beliefs addressed in this series: Lessons in Detachment – we will explore exactly what it means to intentionally detach from the outcome and HOW exactly to do it. Be sure to explore all of my conscious success and law of detachment videos and you will have a greater understanding of how to finally Let Go, and Let God… create miracles in your life.
Detachment is the art of allowing whatever is, to be perfect in and of itself.
This brings us to the subject of this video People Do The Best They Can With the Resources They Have. (An NLP – Neurolinguistics Programming – key presupposition – this is a BELIEF that when implemented will provide you a steady, stable, and detached foundation.
Let’s read that again – People Do The Best They Can With the Resources They Have –This one will not automatically be easy to accept. Like the mindset of video #3 in this series (Under every behavior is a positive intent) there will be many arguments that this is NOT true.
Many watching this video will instantly reject this idea: “What about mass murderers” are they making the best choice available at the time? Are you saying Hitler made the best choice available to him at the time?” NO – That is NOT what this assumption supports — it goes without saying that people who commit crimes and hurt others are not making the best choice – but the full belief ‘people make the best choice available to them at the time given who they are, and what they know to this point’ has far-reaching benefits when you act as if this were true, even when it’s not –This assumption affords us a level of automatic compassion and empathy that bypasses a significant cause of detachment and disconnection. Let me explain…
This idea “that people do the best they can given the resources they have” goes hand in hand with the idea from last week’s video #3, “underneath every behavior is a positive intent.” These two ideas, may not be True with a capital – it’s always true T, but by acting as if this were always true, you can and will be in a better position to detach from negativity and judgment in your relationships… by accepting this as your belief, you will find yourself more willing to love and forgive.
… And, since relationships and our response to the people in our lives can either be the source of great joy or the source of great pain, developing the ability and in this case the mindset that ‘people are always doing the best they can given who they are and what they know up until this point’ will support you in practicing the law of allowing.
You see when we are ill-equipped to understand others, we easily disconnect from source and when we are disconnected, we attach to our assumptions, our desires, our need to be right, what we believe another should or should not do, what we believe they should have been capable of doing, what we need from that relationship etc… and ALL attachment, no matter how justified our judgment may be causes disconnection from Source – it’s this disconnection that halts our Divine Good – our ability to manifest our true desires.
Learning how to intentionally apply compassion on queue and intentionally forgive in a consistent and meaningful way will produce greater connection to your real Source and Supply – the Presence of God –and thereby connect you with the energy that creates worlds This IS practicing the law of detachment. As mentioned in video 3, The Course in Miracles says Forgiveness is the key to happiness. We cannot leverage the law of allowing without mastering the art of forgiveness.
I want to address any resistance you may be feeling about this idea, right up front. Argue that this belief: “People Do the Best They Can, with the Resources They Have” is not true…& You will win that argument. We all know that sometimes people do things they know they shouldn’t do. The business man that embezzles money and goes to jail, knows better.
The child who makes a mistake on his class assignment, could have tried harder or studied more. A physician that makes a critical error after two decades of school and practice, should have and could have been able to prevent the blunder.
I want to make a distinction here – understand that just because a person is doing their best given the resources they have at that moment –does not mean that it is THE best…, but it is their best given what they know, the environment they are in, and who they are up until that moment – & given their current level of consciousness…. They are doing the best they can, given their capacity, their skills, and their current consciousness at that moment.
If you look for evidence that a person could have done better – or should have known better – or that they were not doing their best – you will most assuredly find it. Thus I am not saying this is a belief that serves all situations at all times – for example, if you are a prosecuting attorney, I’m not so sure the belief that people do the best they can given their resources at the moment would serve your cause.
However, this series is about how to apply the law of detachment. & therefore – our aim is to find that state of EQUANIMITY.
Being detached supports a state of equanimity – which is the quality of being calm and even-tempered, maintaining our composure – no matter what is happening around us.
By acting as if this were true: “People do the best they can given their current resources” you by-pass judgment, assume a position of compassion, and are better equipped to influence the situation.
Here’s an example from my own life. This is a picture of my nephew, Marc (in the video). Here he’s wake-boarding behind our boat. Marc is 24 years old and he lives with us, because I’m the only family member that’s willing to support him. Because – Marc can’t get to work on time, to keep a job. Long story short… he was doing really well for about 90 days. Well, this morning he just didn’t get out of bed. He was trusted to do it himself and guess what? You got it – he didn’t make it. So, here we are once again – facing the possibility of him losing yet another job because he can’t get himself out of bed on time.
Now, we can look at my ignorance and say, “Anisa – you should’ve known better… ” and granted, there’s a good argument that this is true. We can look at Marc and say, “He knows better than to flake out and risk getting fired again.” Both perspectives are justified. And, I’m well within my rights to be upset – considering how much we’ve given to him. However, does that view, “that he knows better” help me influence the situation? Does it help me remain intentional and yet detached? NO. The assumption that he should’ve done better, only holds me in a place of disconnection, a very attached, weak, and powerless place.
Now, let’s look at this through the lens of ‘people do the best they can with the resources they have. ” With this assumption, I can move towards forgiveness. This does not mean there won’t be consequences. But, from this view, I can accept that he’s a grown man; If he chooses to be irresponsible, it’s his choice. And I can choose to continue to allow him to live in my house under those conditions or I can choose to find solutions that will help him grow and develop the necessary resources he needs to become a functional, mature, positively contributing member of society.
I find that by assuming this is true – that we all do the best we can, given the resources we have – I am instantly aligned with solutions, compassion, possibility and I allow Marc to be Marc and people to be people.
Now how about you put this into practice:
1) Consider a recent conflict in a relationship.
2) How would it have been different if you had assumed, “People Do They Best They Can With the Resources They Have”?
3) Ask Yourself: How can this assumption help my relationships in the future.
4) Write this down.
5) Now, moving forward set an intention to allow this assumption that people are ALWAYS doing the best they can given the resources they have at the time to be your default setting.
Shortly, you’ll find yourself less reactive and more accepting and influential in every relationship. I promise you’ll be amazed at how much more influence you have in every relationship when you do.
Thank you for the honor of supporting you! To join other like-minded creators and co-create your best year ever:
Visit http://www.PCC.CreataVision.com for information on my Power Creators Club or visit www.AnisaAven.com and be sure to subscribe to my conscious creation 101 ecourse – a 5 part ecourse on the basics of manifesting.
Want to go deeper into the Law of Detachment?
Watch the other videos in this series: Lessons in Detachment (also using NLP pre-suppositions to master the law of detachment.)
If you like my videos, please share them (and get a big kiss from me, from afar!)
February 9, 2011
Lessons in Detachment: Video 3 of 10 – Every Behavior Has a Positive Intent
Hello! This is Anisa Aven and this is vibrational video coaching #3 of 10 in my series – Lessons in Detachment. The Law of Detachment says you must relinquish your attachment to have your desires manifest. This means that the Essence of detachment is Equanimity – one of being centered – Faithful – Aligned – and Serene – no matter what you see or experience. Detachment can be the most troubling aspect of conscious creation. In Lessons in Detachment – we will explore exactly what it means to intentionally detach from the outcome and HOW exactly to do it. Be sure to explore all of the detachment videos and you will have a greater understanding of how to finally Let Go, and Let God… create miracles in your life.
Detachment is the art of allowing whatever is, to be perfect in and of itself. Which brings us to the subject of this video: Every Behavior Has a Positive Intent (In NLP – Neurolinguistics Programming – this is a key presupposition – this is a BELIEF that when implemented will provide you a steady, stable, and detached foundation.
This one and the next Video/Belief in this series (video #4) will not automatically go over well or easily. There will be many arguments that this is NOT true and much evidence that could refute this idea. Perhaps you’re even saying, “what about lying, cheating, stealing, or mass murder? Are you saying that murderers have a positive intent?” No, hurting others is never a positive or acceptable behavior. And, that’s not the aim of this assumption.
However, there’s always a positive intent underneath the behavior. People believe they will gain something positive or they would NOT choose the behavior. This idea that underneath every behavior, no matter how misguided the behavior, no matter how wrong the behavior, no matter how horrific the behavior – underneath it the person has some belief that there will be a positive gain or they would not do it. Thus, this assumption that every behavior has a positive intent allows us to bypass the judgments (that cause disconnection) and bypass our reactions and instead look for the positive intent underneath the behavior. This re-focusing on the question, “what did they hope to gain from this?” shifts our perspective to one of awareness and potential compassion. When we find the positive intent, we learn to allow people to be people, and that ALLOWANCE is the art of detachment.
Okay – I’ve explained the assumption but so what? How will this help us be detached from the outcome? How will accepting this idea support us in utilizing the power of our minds and the law of attraction? The answer lies in our relationships. ALL emotional turmoil is disconnection from the Divine. And, what’s the cause of much of our disconnection – our emotional turmoil? Relationships! It’s our family, love, co-workers, neighbors and even the relationship we have with the world at large. When we are ill-equipped to understand the motives of others, we easily disconnect from source and when we are disconnected, we attach to our assumptions, our desires, our need to be right, what we believe another should or should not do, what we need from our relationship(s) etc. And ALL attachment, no matter how justified we are causes disconnection from Source. It’s this disconnection that halts our Divine Good – our ability to manifest our true desires.
The Course in Miracles says, “Forgiveness is the central theme that runs throughout salvation.” And, “Forgiveness is the key to happiness.” We cannot leverage the law of allowing without mastering the art of forgiveness. When we integrate this assumption that Every Behavior Has a Positive Intent, we easily slip into compassion and forgiveness – two necessary ingredients for connection and detachment.
This idea That Every Behavior Has a Positive Intent along with the next assumption in this series (People Do the Best they Can – be sure to watch video #4 in this series) can make a significant difference in your ability to detach from the negativity in your relationships. You will find yourself more willing to love and forgive. So, let’s talk about how to implement this idea.
First, understand that just because there’s always going to be a positive intent – some idea that there will be a pay-off to the behavior – does not mean that every behavior is the best way to fulfill a need. It is also not meant to absolve a person of their hurtful actions – they are still responsible for their choices.
Let’s apply this more deeply. For example, consider the man that cheats on his wife. What’s the positive intent under the behavior? Perhaps it’s to experience adrenaline, or the rush of getting away with something. Or since we are just guessing here – perhaps his wife is frigid or crazy or abusive and he just needs to feel alive and loved again. Now, let’s look at it from her point of view. What’s the positive intent underneath whacking her husband with a crow-bar? Perhaps it’s retribution – that internal need to stand up for ourselves, to feel important, special, powerful or acknowledged. Or perhaps she’s afraid for her children and how she will survive without him.
Now remember we are NOT ever saying the behavior is positive or the best way to fulfill our needs but we are choosing to act as if, there’s some positive intent underneath every behavior. And, by figuring this out, we can more readily inspire and create change AND practice detachment.
What about for ourselves – how do we apply this to our lives? Here’s one example, let’s say you want to lose weight, but you have a bad day and all you really want to do is have another piece of chocolate. The behavior is self-sabotaging – eating sweets while trying to lose weight, will not help your cause. However, when we look at ourselves in the mirror and we only see the behavior, it’s hard to love ourselves; we see the failure not the person.
Yet, when we look at the intention underneath the behavior, “I just want to feel better. I just want to experience the deliciousness of life.” There’s a moment there that satisfies our need for yumminess, our need for freedom, our need for attending to our inner desires without judgment, fear, or deprivation. And, by identifying THAT need – THAT positive INTENT – we can a) choose to have compassion and b) choose to find another way to meet that Need. For example, “What else can I do to experience the deliciousness of life?”
Our objective becomes LOOK for the positive intent under the behavior, find a healthy solution for meeting that need. Here’s a resource you may find helpful – to gain a better understanding of our needs, I suggest reviewing Abraham Maslow’s Hierarchy of Human Needs. (Search online and you’ll find a visual map.)
By reviewing and studying this model you become more masterful at identifying the positive intent under the behavior. For example, when good people do bad things, often it’s a basic need (Physiological Need – Survival Need) they are trying to meet. I.E. A man steals a loaf of bread to feed his family.
Perhaps, a woman betrays her husband trying to experience more love. Or a philanderer betrays a mate trying to experience the need for achievement or conquest. Our objective is to preserve that intent (that need) by attending to it in a healthier manner and not only can we change our personal behavior without loss but we gain the ability to experience compassion and forgiveness – essential ingredients for practicing the law of detachment.
Here’s an exercise for you: Consider a past transgression against you. Re-frame it using this new assumption. Ask yourself: What was the need or positive intent they were trying to fulfill? Knowing now that they were trying to fill a need, albeit poorly, how would I feel if I had that need?
And, be sure to apply this idea to yourself as well. Extend this exercise to consider a past mistake/ poor choice that you made. Re-frame it using this new belief. Ask yourself: What was the need I was trying to fill? Knowing now that I was just trying to fill a need, what options do I have for filling that need with a more positive behavior?
Be sure to watch the other videos in this series: Lessons in Detachment (also using NLP pre-suppositions to master the law of detachment.)
Video 1: The Map is Not the Territory
Thank you for sharing with your friends:
Focus on their positive intent not the bad behavior & be more influential, peaceful, & achieve equanimity #LOA Video http://bit.ly/ecjYiu
People believe they will gain something positive or they would NOT choose the behavior. By focusing on “every behavior has a positive intent” we bypass our judgments & get right to the solution – Love #LOA Video http://bit.ly/ecjYiu
January 18, 2011
How to Enact the Law of Detachment
Watch the video below:
What you’ll learn:
If you enjoyed this video, please give it some stars and thank you for sharing:
“Nothing is intentionally created without enacting the law of detachment. Most are not successful with the LOA because they do not know how to detach.” – Anisa Aven, watch the video http://bit.ly/gJDFY7
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Not successful w/#LOA? U R likely attached & don’t even know it. See @AnisaAven video how to practice detachment. http://bit.ly/gJDFY7
Copyright, 2011 CreataVision Enterprises, Anisa Aven.
September 22, 2010
Certainty is pure faith that no matter WHAT you see or WHAT you witness or WHAT you hear – ALL is WELL and ALIGNED with The Divine Order.
Certainty is understanding that it is impossible for you to have any wants, needs, or unfulfilled desires. It is IMPOSSIBLE for the Divine Order to NOT support your highest and best good; your most dominant dreams and desires.
In the video coaching segment, I ask you to do an exercise to illustrate how doubts – even one doubt can weaken your entire system, while intentional confidence and conscious certainty, can make all the difference to the fulfillment of your desire.
World class athletes know the power of certainty, they understand what happens when doubt and fear are allowed to pervade their thoughts in critical moments. It’s the meaning of the phrase, ‘he choked.’ It’s what happens when we are choking on our own self-conscious thoughts and doubts and allow those fears to cause us to break-down in confidence in the moment and fumble the ball, miss the shot, etc.
One doubt – one fear – can be lethal if it happens at the right time/moment.
Be sure to add your comments/feedback below! I have some ideas for additional Certainty vibrational video instructions… I’ll post those over the next few weeks and will attend to your questions, if you post them below. Thank you!
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