We were born with the unlimited potential to intentionally create (use the law of attraction) to manifest all of our heart's desires. Together, as Conscious Leaders guided by the Divine, we have the Mind Power necessary to co-create a sustainable, harmonious, peaceful, and prosperous world.  And, we can do this while also attracting and creating a passionate, loving, rich, healthy life with all of our personal dreams fulfilled.

But I never seem to get what I expect

Category: law of attraction — Anisa @

Q: “Hi Anisa, I have been noticing something very peculiar happening in my life. I seem to be manifesting circumstances, events, things, etc. that I *do not* expect, both positive and negative. If I expect something, then it never happens, but if I don’t expect it, as in not thinking about it or dismissing it as “oh, that will never happen” and kind of forgetting about it, most of the time it will happen. Right now, I am confused about the metaphysical books I have read because they have been teaching me the opposite of what is happening to me….it’s almost like I have my ‘own’ way of creating my reality, it seem to be backwards/reversed for me. I just began noticing this last year. Now, when I think back about the major events in my life (and events I wanted but never experienced) I see that this is exactly what has been happening to me all along. Have you ever hear of anything like this before? I swear….whenever I *expect* something, some object, some circumstance, whatever, chances are I usually do not get it, but the opposite happens when I *do not expect*. I’m puzzled and a little frightened of this because it has built up momentum, negative situations that I *never* thought possible is happening, and now I feel I must rearrange the way I look at my existence. I hope this makes sense to you, I know it sounds crazy. Thank you. – Patricia

A:
I can see why this would be terribly disturbing – to think perhaps that the way you create is completely opposite to how the Universe is set up for everyone else!

Do not despair! I believe that you too are operating under the same Universal Laws as everyone else. We simply need to reconsider the language we use when we interpret the Principles. I believe we have a slight misunderstanding about what the word “expectation” really means in the context of intentional creation.

Did you ever get in trouble as a kid because you thought a word meant one thing, but as it turned out it meant something different entirely?

As a teenager, I had a really bad argument with my mom once because I didn’t ‘open’ the shower curtain to let it dry. She had told me dozens of times, “please leave the shower curtain open.” Well I thought ‘opening’ it meant leaving it ‘wide open’ so the air could circulate inside the shower. But, she meant ‘opening’ it so that the shower curtain itself was stretched open. I would say, “I did too leave it open, I swear I did!” She would say, “You did not!” And, round and round we went until finally I marched into the shower and showed her what open meant to me. Finally, like an asteroid come to rest – we realized we were talking two different languages! We laughed hysterically at the absurdity of our clash after that.

There’s a difference between expectation with faith and allowance and expectation with attachment and desire. The latter is counter-creative, while the former supports rapid manifestation results.

Let’s do a bit of a perception check with the LOA material regarding ‘Expectation’.

“It is no use to desire a thing unless you expect to get it, either in part or in full. Desire without expectation is idle wishing or dreaming. You simply waste much valuable mental energy doing this.” – “Working with the Law” by Raymond Holliwell

- Raymond Holliwell’s instructions would indicate that intentional creation fails without expectation. Thus, we assume we must not only desire something but expect it to happen in order to activate the Law of Attraction. But, what kind of expectation is actually supportive?

“Most misery is born of failed expectations so let us learn to minimize expectations so that we will feel far less guilt and disappointment.” – Deepak Chopra

- Since we know that all negative emotions are counter-creative, we understand Deepak Chopra’s instructions as telling us the opposite of Mr. Holliwell; that we need to minimize expectations in order to minimize negative emotions. But, how can we have both the right kind of expectation AND minimal expectations?

“… faith is born of gratitude. The grateful mind continually expects good things, and expectation becomes faith. The reaction of gratitude upon one’s own mind produces faith; and every outgoing wave of grateful thanksgiving increases faith. He who has no feeling of gratitude cannot long retain a living faith; and without a living faith you cannot get rich by the creative method…” - The Science of Getting Rich: Chapter 7, Gratitude, by Wallace D. Wattles

- Wallace Wattles seems to be telling us that by being grateful AND expecting good things, we eventually turn our gratitude and expectation into a “living faith.” And, only through this faith can we ‘get rich’ by the ‘creative method’. Thus, expectation, once again is essential but it’s a faith-filled, grateful act of expecting – completely different than attached or entitled expectation. So, how do we cultivate this faithful, positively supportive expectation?

“No follower of this philosophy can reasonably expect to accumulate a fortune without experiencing “temporary defeat”. When defeat comes, accept it as a signal that your plans are not sound, rebuild those plans and set sail once more toward your coveted goal. If you give up before your goal has been reached, you are a quitter.” – Think and Grow Rich, by Napoleon Hill [updated and revised version with author, Arthur Pell (2005)]

- Napoleon Hill and revisionist Arthur Pell seem to be telling us that we should expect both wealth and setbacks. Thus, we are to temper our enthusiasm with a healthy dose of reality and be prepared to accept the signs, adjust our plans, and be resilient. Does this mean that we must return to ‘reality thinking’ instead of ‘possibility thinking’?

“High achievement always takes place in the framework of high expectation.” – Charles Kettering, (1876-1958) American inventor, 140 patents, including the electrical starting engine, leaded gasoline, and Freon.

- Mr. Kettering, innovator extraordinaire, is telling us the secret of success is high expectations. Thus, it’s not that we must be hyper-realistic to the point of lowering our expectations. But, how do we garner high expectations, while being fair and realistic, faithful and grateful and detached simultaneously?

“I am open to the guidance of synchronicity, and do not let expectations hinder my path.” – Dalai Lama

- My interpretation of the Dalai Lama’s words are that we should be open to the flow of intuition and guidance coming from synchronicities but not allow our expectations of what should be to interfere with our wellbeing, or our acceptance of what’s next on our path. Therefore, we are to continue to detach from the outcome and thereby release our expectations.

“Expectation indicates the juncture between where you are and where you want to be. Where you want to be, is your desire, and where you are, is your Set-point or habit of thought. And somewhere, in there, is what we would call expectation. Expectation, whether it is wanted or unwanted, is a powerful point of attraction.” – Abraham-Hicks

- Abraham, through Jerry and Ester Hicks, are telling us that expectation is the bridge between our current state of reality and what we want to experience. They are saying that expectation is a powerful, creative emotion to be employed and utilized in intentional creation.

“Your expectation is always what you believe. But the word expectation does imply more what you are wanting than what you are not wanting. It is a more positive word than it is a negative word, but of course, you could expect negatively and whatever you expect, you will get!” – Abraham-Hicks

- Here, Abraham, is saying your expectation is equal to what you believe. And, as conscious creation students we understand that no matter how much we ‘want’ something, it is our beliefs that will either attract or repel it.

“When hope is not pinned wriggling onto a shiny image or expectation, it sometimes floats forth and opens.” – Anne Lamott (best-selling author)

- This is probably my favorite quote of all. When we attach ourselves too firmly to an expectation, we are not allowing. The Law of Attraction is always operating under the auspices of the Law of Detachment, thus the phrase ‘It’ll happen when you least expect it” resonates so strongly. Refusing the “pin our hope down through expectation” enacts the law of allowing and detachment.

“In regards to expectation, we not only get what we put our attention upon but what we expect. However, most of us don’t really realize what we expect. We tend to dismiss our ‘expectations’ as mere observations when more often than not they are insidious ideas that prevent our dreams from manifesting with greater ease.” - Anisa Aven (Oh… that’s me – from a video I did on persistence and resilience.)
So let’s recap:

• Desire (alone): Manifestation fuel= Poor
  • Certainly manifestations occur through desire alone. However, there are always more creative emotions lurking underneath, such as ‘courage’, ‘persistence’, ‘hard-work’, “a willingness to compromise” and even ‘anger’ can help a person manifest for where there’s desire, there’s direction.

• Desire + hope: Manifestation fuel = Average
  • This state has potential but it is not the most optimal vibration. Hope is often too steeped in lack to be stable. On the other hand, when ‘hope’ is a noun, it’s entirely different. When we find hope after a long, dark tunnel – it’s incredibly uplifting and can help a person out of the darkness. But, when we use hope as a ‘verb’ and we are ‘hoping’ to have more money (someday) or hoping to get married (someday), then these are not optimal for efficient conscious creation.

• Desire + expectation: Manifestation fuel = It Depends if it’s expectation/faith vs. expectation/fear or excessive expectation vs. faithful expectation.
  • This combination is only effective if we have expectation without attachment. If your expectation is filled with belief, faith, certainty and a knowingness that ‘it’s all good, no matter what’, then you are aligned with your goals. But, negative (or less optimal results) will occur when the expectation is coupled with an attachment. Attachment comes in many forms but here are a few examples:

o Entitlement: a self-absorbed sense that you don’t have to do anything; that the Universe/people/the world owes you something.
o Co-dependence: an underlying fear that if you do not get what you want then you cannot be happy/whole/fulfilled/etc.
o Proof: an underlying fear that you have to prove your worthiness and only if you manifest something a certain way or a specific thing, will you allow yourself to feel successful, special and/or worthy.
o Fear of Failure: if you can’t succeed at ‘manifesting’ then it’s just more evidence that you are a failure.
o Fear of Success, fear of deservingness, fear of not being good enough, fear of loss, fear of change, fear of loss of love, etc. etc.

The bottom-line is when you release your attachment while still expecting GOOD things, you are enacting faith and certainty, two essential ingredients for conscious creation success. Thus, it’s not expectation that’s the issue, but the other ingredients that allow you to detach and trust in the Universal Principles as constant and all-providing.

RT @AnisaAven Strike right balance betwn high expectations & law of allowing is required for optimal conscious creation http://bit.ly/d0lp8X

It’s important to understand that it’s not expectation that lets us down, but our attachment to the outcome that causes our expectations to disappoint us, and even prevent us from manifesting success. http://bit.ly/d0lp8X

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