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We were born with the unlimited potential to intentionally create (use the law of attraction) to manifest all of our heart's desires. Together, as Conscious Leaders guided by the Divine, we have the Mind Power necessary to co-create a sustainable, harmonious, peaceful, and prosperous world.  And, we can do this while also attracting and creating a passionate, loving, rich, healthy life with all of our personal dreams fulfilled.

Tap Your Way to a Better Feeling Place, if you REALLY want to create something better!

Category: emotional freedom technique,law of attraction,Law of Detachment,limiting beliefs,LOA doesn't work for me — Anisa @

Q: Hi Anisa,

This is difficult to share.  But, here goes, because I need help and really want to change.  I hate confrontation.  I’ve figured out (through a lot of tough self-reflection), I either withdraw or don’t speak to those who upset me – thereby punishing them by pushing them away passive-agressively.  Or, I end up pushing them away with my anger.  For example, I explode in a mean rage attacking their character with harsh words like “Are you really that stupid?”   I’ve been like this for as long as I can remember and I realize that to some extend it’s served me.  I’m viewed as a tough, independent and self-reliant woman.  And, I also have my good traits and have many friends and family members that really love me.  However, I’ve come to realize that my anger and volatility along with the way I allow people to ‘get under my skin’ has created illness and isolation.  I don’t want to push people away.  I don’t want to hurt the ones I love.  And, I don’t want to be sick!  I don’t want to be this angry.  But, HOW do I get rid of something that’s been with me for so long?  I can see myself about to withdraw or explode but even as I’m aware of my desire to change, I can’t stop the train-wreck from happening.  It’s a default response that seems to have more power over me than my own mind has to make a better choice!

What do I do to change this?  (Yours truly, anonymous.)

A:  Accept your unlimitedness and you automatically become a vibrational match to your desire.

Ideally, you could just jump to accepting your Divinity and that would be that!  You could just say, “I accept the truth that I am a Divine Child of God.  So Be it!” And, it would be SO for you and all your dreams and the changes you desire, would materialize.

When we really accept our Divinity – that we are Divine Children of an all-providing, all-protecting, ever-flowing life-force of unlimited design and potential, then there’s nothing to ever fear, doubt, resent or defend.  Our unlimited nature never sees other’s mistakes as mistakes but as Divine fellow humans doing their very best worthy of love and compassion simply because they are human.  Our unlimited nature never needs to isolate or withdraw because there’s nothing to fear and nothing we need to protect.  Our unlimited nature is all-loving both inwardly and outwardly.  As we accept this Truth we become ONE with the essence of all that is GRACE and all that is LOVE.

Sounds simple enough?!?!

Not so much, for most of us.  If you’ve been living your life in negative self- talk and free-wheeling emotional swings of anger, fear, doubt, and shame then that jump to “I accept my oneness with the Divine” is more like a Grand Canyon leap!

If you know that you should believe in your inherent  Divinity but can’t quite get there, then stop trying to jump across the Grand Canyon and instead walk up the vibrational scale (from neg-attractive emotions to pos-attractive emotions) using your words, your voice and the power of your mind.

How do you walk yourself up the scale?  Here’s an example, which I respectfully share anonymously, using a situation that a fellow law of attraction student experienced.

“While I prefer not to emanate the energy of desperation, I am in tears as I type.  I just received some very disturbing news.  The insurance company (work comp) pushed for my doctors to close my case!  My case manager, even found it shocking and appalling.  It has brought up great fear about my future well-being, physical condition and ability to provide for my family as a single mom with no family, etc. (Intellectually, I get that all is well, emotionally I am melting down!)”

Our work as students of the law of attraction is to re-focus our energy and emotions so that the vibrations of positive trust, confidence, love, and peace are attracting what we want.  Using the above example, here’s an illustration of how to intentionally climb the scale.

(Use Dr. David Hawkin’s Map of Consciousness as a guide and assume you have ALL of the lower level emotions and walk yourself up to the higher emotions.)

Descending Consciousness:

According to the map, at the bottom of the consciousness rung is Shame (20), then Guilt (30), then Apathy (50), then Grief (75), then Fear (100), then Desire (125), then Anger (150)and finally Pride (175).

Ascending Consciousness:

Courage (200) is the first ascending emotion, followed by neutrality (250), then willingness (310), acceptance (350), reason (400), love (500), joy (540), peace (600) and then enlightenment (700­1000).

Before we can get to our destination, we need to know where we are on the map.

First, figure out where you are by asking:

  1. What am I feeling? = with the map above, pin point where you are.
    1. For example, if you feel shameful, then everything to the left (Grief through Enlightenment) requires processing, neutralizing, and release.
  2. What’s the thought that is creating this feeling?
    1. Identify the actual thought that is creating the sad, fearful, shameful, etc. emotion.   Note: There’s always a negative thought under each negative emotion.  You will never have a negative emotion without a corresponding thought. Thus, sometimes you have to dig until you find it.

Using our example, the essence might be summed up in the underlying thoughts, “I will not be able to support my children.  I will not be able to feed them and take care of them.”  This energy of desperation is terribly creative and is going forth to create the very opposite of what she really wants, and she knows it.   Thus, the even more desperate feeling that she MUST stop the meltdown!

Choose the lowest or most negatively-attractive emotion and corresponding thoughts first, in this case, starting with apathy, simply acknowledge the thoughts and feelings by speaking them aloud (while tapping)

Then, take the route to the next more positive ’emotional city’ on the map.  For example, if you start with “I feel helpless and hopeless.  I can’t even get myself out of bed because there’s nothing more I can do.”   Using emotional freedom technique tap those very words.  Do an entire round on “helpless, hopeless, apathetic” and “I still choose to love and accept myself.”

++++EFT Example Round:

If you are unfamiliar with EFT, please see my tutorial here.  It explains why we focus on the negative in an effort to call a spade a spade then release it as required.

The set-up:

Even though I feel helpless and hopeless, I deeply and completely love and accept myself.

Even though I cannot get out of bed because I feel so powerless, I still choose to love and forgive myself.

Even though I am desperate and apathetic all at once, I fully love and embrace myself, anyway!

The Tapping:

Inner Eye: I’m hopeless

Outer Eye: I’m helpless

Under Eye: This powerlessness

Beneath Nose: This apathy that I feel

Chin: This hopelessness, helplessness, and apathy is overwhelming

Collarbone: I hate feeling so depressed and apathetic

Grab your wrist, take a deep and intentional breath – inhale and push the breath out, exhale.

While holding your wrist say:  HOPE

Now tap in a round of positive:

Inner Eye: I’m willing to be willing to be hopeful

Outer Eye: I’m willing to be courageous and know I can handle whatever comes my way

Under Eye: I’m willing to find another way

Beneath Nose: I’m willing to let my fears go, and trust in the process

Chin: I’m willing to take care of myself and hand my troubles over to the Divine

Collarbone: I’m willing to forgive

Grab your wrist, take a deep and intentional breath – inhale and push the breath out, exhale.

While holding your wrist say:  PEACE

TAP through ALL the negative emotions – Apathy, then Grief, Sadness, Fear, Desire, Anger, then Pride and never stop before you have arrived at courage.  Ideally, continue until you reach bliss, but never stop until you’ve at least hit courage.

Next, tap in the positive!

Inner Eye: I am courageous

Outer Eye: I accept that I am a Divine Child of God and therefore I am unlimited

Under Eye: I accept that the Universe has my back and therefore there’s something here that’s absolutely in my and my family’s best interest

Beneath Nose: I am a powerful creator – therefore it only stands to reason that I am creating something positive and eve better now

Chin: I love myself enough to forgive this situation and all parties involved

Collarbone: I choose to feel hopeful and optimistic

Grab your wrist, take a deep and intentional breath – inhale and push the breath out, exhale.

While holding your wrist say:  HOPE, PEACE, FAITH

You must continue UP the vibrational scale until you reach a destination that at bare minimum feels more peacefully detached (NOT apathetic, but PEACEFUL). Optimally, you will continue until you reach a place of absolute certainty and can honestly say, “This too shall pass” and “It’s all good, all the time.”

Now, let me give you an example of how you would do this work with ongoing anger and resentment that’s creating illness.   Note: My example will start with shame, but you must proceed through courage on the vibrational scale.  Do not stop until you are at least feeling courageous enough to trust the process and trust that you have the capacity within to make the change.

+++EFT example round:


Even though, I am so incredibly ashamed at my behavior.  I am ashamed that I cannot control my emotions; that I push people away and that I’ve made myself sick.  Nevertheless, I love and accept myself anyway!

Even though, I’m ashamed that I can’t just snap my fingers and forgive, be kind, and flow love, I deeply and completely love and accept myself anyway.

Even though, I am ashamed that I make things so difficult with my anger and my pride and I have even manifested illness because I let people get under my skin, when I know I shouldn’t.  Never the less, I choose to love, accept, and forgive myself now.

Tapping on shame:

Inner Eye: This horrible shame that I feel.

Outer Eye: I am so ashamed at my emotional immaturity

Under Eye: I am volatile and angry and too immature to change it, how shameful!

Beneath Nose: I can’t even look at myself, I’m so ashamed at who I’ve become.

Chin: I have so much shame, I don’t know what to do about this.

Collarbone: I’m ashamed that I don’t know whether or not I can change or heal, or make it up to the people I hurt.

Grab your wrist, take a deep and intentional breath – inhale and push the breath out, exhale.

While holding your wrist say:  LOVE

Tapping in the Positive:

Inner Eye: I am willing to forgive myself.

Outer Eye: I am willing to make peace with my past.

Under Eye: I am willing to ask for forgiveness.

Beneath Nose: I am willing to trust that I can change, grow, love and heal.

Chin: I am willing to love and accept myself.

Collarbone: I am willing to forgive myself – I really was doing the best I could at the time and now I’m willing to forgive myself, let it go and I choose to be compassionate.

Grab your wrist, take a deep breath and as you exhale intentionally, say: Compassion


I believe that we (including myself) receive some self- righteous or protective emotional pay-off for jeopardizing our happiness with habitual negative thoughts. Whether it’s a need to be right, a desire to avoid the pain of change, a desire for attention or any other counter-productive, fear-based desire (also known as a secondary gain), we must be willing to release the emotional pay-off in order to get to the peaceful, prosperous, and loving destination that we truly desire.   (Emotional Freedom Technique works wonders on these self-sabotaging needs.)

By using this technique regularly, you’ll find that overall your life is simply happier, easier, more prosperous and peaceful.  From this place of positive vibes, you are certain to attract more of the things you really want.

Create a Great day!

Anisa Aven

P.S. Here’s a fre*e EFT Worksheet too – EFT Worksheet:(Click here and then scroll to bottom for link)

I look forward to hearing of your success! Please share your comments with me below.

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